Day 376
Another payday passes, and I chip away further at the debt. Starting to look forward to the day that this CC debt is finally shifted and what I going to spend all this extra cash on. 2years ago, was different world completely.
Are you okay, Michael? I hope you have had a good week.
Day 384
Just looked at that day number - 384 days. That's about 9200hrs since my last gamble, where previously, I was gambling into the early hours, having 4hrs sleep, getting up to gamble, then going to work, coming back for 1hr lunchtime gambling, and then coming home to gamble again. I was struggling to keep away from gambling for a more than a few hours at a time. How things have changed.
Things are starting to click into place now. My efforts are being rewarded. Wish I could talk about them here, but can't through fear of revealing my identity - and it's not just financial. But for the 1st time ever, I've realised that consistent effort and hard-work really does pay off.
The future is looking much brighter now.
"Fear of revealing my identity?" Are you someone famous?
Good evening.
I have just read through every age of your diary tonight and I want to just say it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions.personally, I can relate to what you have been through. I am currently sitting on a 5000 overdraft 3000 credit card and 10000 loan. It is hard to picture being debt free ATM. reading your diary has given me great belief that I can do the same as you.
What a great achievement.
Joe
Day 393,
Hi guys. First of all, I'm definately not famous !
Anyway, thanks for your words of encouragement. I have a long long way to go before I'm debt free, but progress is being made. I reckon, at least another year for credit cards, another year for paying off my 'family' loan, and another for the overdrafts. Realistically, 2016, but achieving it before day 1000 would be great.
Day 400
Another milestone reached, and approaching 5 years since my first gamble. Not really celebrating - more of a reflective mood - thinking mostly about my kids. They're both growing up fast, my eldest is about to leave his Primary school, and let loose into Secondary education. He can't wait, but for me, I can't help feeling that his childhood is coming to an end. My mind is in a spin at the moment, and I can't help but go through the 'what-if' - that fateful day when I first gambled, and with the resulting 5 year struggle. But another part thinks that it's what most parents go through anyway. Was the trigger point of my first gambling bout the stress of taking on this huge house and mortgage, and subsequent job security pressures ? Did I take the plunge, with an investment that secures the future of my kids, and their kids, but biting off more than I could chew in the process. Many years from now, how will I look back at this 5 or 6 year period of my life ? Will I indeed see it as me seizing an opportunity of a lifetime to push my family way up the property ladder in a wonderful neighbourhood. Would the ensuing struggle, together with the mental stress and resultant gambling disaster followed by continued recovery be ultimately worth it in the end. In spite of everything, I haven't lost anything. Despite the moods and anger tantrums, I haven't pushed my kids or my wife away, I still have my job and my house. We still have friends and family. I still have my dignity - only 4 people know of my addiction. Still have an absolute mountain of debt though, but whilst interest rates are low, I continue to comfortably pay off min payments + extra each month, and I'm not in arrears anywhere. So despite the self-inflicted situation I find myself in, in the grand scheme, things haven't turned out too badly.
Please I wrote this now !
Are you still spending hours each day doing online competitions and surveys or have you taken your foot off the accelerator a bit in order to spend more time with your wife and children? I hope you have got the balance right.
Day 412
More good news, now shifted about £10K onto 0% rates, saving about £150 in interest/month. Things are getting better every month now. Credit rating is still awful, and debt is bad, but total interest/month (inc mortgage) has come down from about £1400 6 months ago to about £400 now. Breathing easier every month now - still have to pay it all back though !
Mind you, I'm concious of the amount of effort all of this has taken. I've earned about £20K extra (on top of my basic salary) through my extra bits of work in the last 2 years, which I'm still convinced was necessary in order to keep us afloat. If I hadn't done that, where would we be now ?
My son is leaving Primary School in 2 weeks, and I've giving this some thought. I started on this journey, nearly 5 yrs ago, when he was Yr2 kid, he's now a young man, my daughter hadn't even started school !! Yes, I regret the being to wrapped up in my own problems to give my kids my more of my time, especially at that age, but in spite of this, I have a great relationship with both of them, and they love spending time with me. I also have some great memories with both of them. But for me, things are getting a little easier and a little better every day now.
Hi Micheal. I am glad things are looking so much better. I see you have not posted for a while. Is all still ok my friend ?.
All the best
Steven
I hope you are okay, Michael. This is the longest you have been away from your diary since it began in 2011. Maybe you are relaxing on a sunny beach somewhere and, if so, you deserve it - it is good to take a break from the drudgery and misery of everyday life. Anyway, it would be good to have an update when you get the chance. Best wishes to you and I hope you are still gamble free.
Day 456
Guys - haven't updated for ages - but really should try and keep this diary going. Pellekanin - You're spot on, just had 2 wonderful weeks in the Carribbean relaxing in paradise. Gambling days seem a lifetime away now - it's not to say I don't have the odd urge now and again - guess it's something I need to accept but I just need to remind myself where I am now, compared with where I was then. It's taken an awful long time, but I'm in a much better place - yes, I still have a huge pile of debt, but I'm paying small interest, and it's very manageable now and certainly not fretting anywhere near as much as I was, and certainly not as obsessive about it now. I am still putting in alot of hours, this is something I still find hard to let go of - it's easy money which I find difficult to turn down. I've built a momentum which I'm loathed to stop - financially, I can turn this entire episode on it's head, and I sense some exciting times are ahead.
Day 463
Got an email today from HIlliam WIll trying to entice me back. 5 years since I lost a stack of cash to them -stupid f*****ers - email deleted.
Are you still on target to be debt-free by 13th Feb 2014? Not long to go now and you deserve it! I just re-read the first post on your diary. You've come a long way, Michael, and you are in a much better place now. Keep up the good work!
Day 473
Not long until the 500 day mark - Big Milestone ! Pellakin - Alas, the 14th Feb 2014 milestone is no longer possible as a debt-free date - no chance now. But it's not such an issue as it was 2 years ago - it's very manageable now, so I'm not too worried about it. Reckon it'll take another year at least.
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