D70 my Recovery Journey

As I read other posts I know it will be the weekend when my first urges will come, then the world cup and the football season starting again will be triggers. I have to be strong and not get sucked back in, as its easy when you think things are fine and you can have a little bet, but it will only end in tears as normal. It makes me think why do I do things to excess and others don't?. I have joined the gym as I think this will give me another focus and its a healthy interest, and it will take away any stress I have, if that was a factor in my gambling.

well day 4 and no urges to gamble, I am feeling stronger today more determined not to have a bet, but its the weekend that's the real test. Been feeling down today and /////// off with myself for wasting so much money, as it will take years to pay back. I have stopped before and been to GA years ago but fell back into my old habits, I am so scared I will do that in the future, but suppose can only take one day at a time and so far so good.

Hi D70 - Congratulations on your Day 4 of sanity. By the weekend you'll have clocked up a week and think how stronger you will feel.

You are quite right - it is one day at a time, but it's surprising how those days mount up.

Take heart from the many stories here which will show you that recovery is possible and that you can turn your life around.

Someone said in a post that remember the urge to gamble should be treated as just that - a fleeting moment that can be shoved to one side - just a few seconds and it's gone. Finding other interests or activities can also help.

I would also urge you to read the inspiring posts of James P and others from which you will see that there's a whole new world out there for the taking.

Best wishes for your journey.

Joanna

Hi Joanna

Thanks for posting on my diary you don't know how much it means. I am going to read as much as I can from the site as I find it really helps me, and will look out for James P. Day 5 now and feel good cant wait to get past the weekend and then a month. I have joined the gym and I am going to make a plan for the weekend to keep myself busy, so my thoughts are away from gambling, as normally I get nothing done because that's all I do, the more I think about it the sadder it seems. Happier times ahead.

Thanks again for posting D.

Hi D70 - Very heartened to read your post - enjoy your weekend, and congrats on your first week of sanity.

Joanna :o)

Thanks for the reply Joanna I will enjoy my weekend cheers, hope you do. My first week done!!.

Day 7, today is the test as I would always be in my own little world thinking of nothing else but gambling, but today I feel stronger than I ever have to not have a bet and I know i wont. I have been looking at my debts the last couple of days, it really gets me down at times the amount I've wasted, but it has to be done and you have to face up to it simple as that. It makes you realise how much easy money the bookie collects off us all. I already have a 10,000 loan that I am paying off over 7 year that I am not to bothered about. I also have 7,800 debts on 2 credit cards and I am unsure what to do, I know if I pay the min payments each month I will not be paying anything off the balance, should I get a loan and pay them off or should I try to pay the cards off myself, like any spare money pay more off cards?. I know if I get another loan it doesn't leave me with much money left over for any weekends away or hols, but I can get by on a budget and I can live ok.

Since I have stopped gambling I cant believe the amount of betting and roulette adverts on the tv, I never noticed before as I suppose it seemed the norm, it makes me more determined now not to bet, and just annoys me.

One week clean and counting, cant wait to get to a month!!..

Hi D70 - Glad you are still feeling chipper.

re. your financial situation, I am no expert but personally I would steer clear of taking out any more loans. However there are a lot of people on this site who have a vast experience of dealing with debt - why don't you post on the 'Overcoming problem gambling page' - something like 'Financial advice needed' and I'm sure you will get lots of advice.

Hi D70 - Glad you are still feeling chipper.

re. your financial situation, I am no expert but personally I would steer clear of taking out any more loans. However there are a lot of people on this site who have a vast experience of dealing with debt - why don't you post on the 'Overcoming problem gambling page' - something like 'Financial advice needed' and I'm sure you will get lots of advice.

Here's another idea - come and join us on the 2014 Challenge (also found on the Overcoming problem gambling page). It's a team effort led by Mr Brightside. All you need do is commit to staying away from gambling and checking in once a week. It's a real team effort and really helpful.

All the best,

Joanna

Hi Joanna

Thanks again for the advice, yeah I will post on the Overcoming problem gambling page.

Cheers D.

Hi D70, well done for being gambling free. I too am on the gamble free road. 2 days. I need to sort myself out. Best of luck to you. We can do this.

Hey D70

Just wanted to congratulate you on making 7 days no gambling, brings me back to when I first gave up gambling and the first week took me several attempts because it is by far the hardest ! The best thing to remember is what you have achieved and do you really want to go back to 0 again... No ! There are so many people in the same shoes and it's good for you to know there are always people looking out for you and cheering you on ! So here's to 7 days for you and long may it continue my friend !

All the best

Batman 🙂

Hi bigb82 and batman thanks for posting. Hang in there bigb82 you can do this. Today I have noticed how much time I have now, as my Saturdays were taken up thinking about gambling 24-7, studying the form in papers and coupons even from Thursday before the weekend its madness. The amount of family and friends I have just not been interested in due to my gambling its quite sad. The mood swings I would go through is crazy, from feeling like I had won the lotto to been devastated many times during the day, with the outcome always been devastation, well you all know how it is. It is strange to think I haven't got a bet on something today but I am not bothered I know its a mugs game with one outcome. I feel I have wasted so much of my life on a pointless addiction, well know more!!. Cheers guys your support is great.

Hi D70 - Have just read your thread re. financial situation and see that you have had some good

advice - that's great. Hope you can get things sorted satisfactorily in the coming weeks.

Joanna

Hi Joanna, yes there has been some fantastic advice, thanks.

Well day 8 and rising.

To day when I woke up I felt good, and I was quite pleased with myself, as I'm not used to feeling like this, because a normal Sunday morning I would wake up and be in such a low mood then I would be disgusted with myself, thinking I was pathetic, useless, an **** etc etc for how much I lost again the day before, after saying I wasn't going to gamble much this time, just a little bet on the football or horses and keep off the roulette, but this never happens. So all that emotional stress I have been used to for years has gone, and it feels fantastic, a massive wake up call, I don't have to go through this hell anymore.

In the last one and a half years I have blown 17,800 in William *** mainly, good knows how much over the last 30 year, I might as well of walked in with a cheque for 17,800 and handed it straight to the bookie because that is exactly what I have done, madness utter madness.

Cheers D