DaveUK - New Diary

Thank you Irene - always good to get an addition to our diaries.

I have realised more and more I am a bad loser - I get 'that' same feeling when my beloved football team lose as I used to when my final losing spin ended. I guess that's the reason I chased losses and gave up or a while after a loss.

At least the football disappointment has less of an effect than the roulette machine losses had.

I now admit I was playing the machines and hoping to win and it wasn't until I totally accepted i could never win long term that i was able to give up completely. I reckon if I had lost the very first time I played I would have never gone on them again.

Day off today - how things have changed!

Would have been a time when I would have definitely gone and played the roulette machine and may have won and may have lost. Either way there would have been a 50% chance of spoiling my day off. Even if I had won it would have just been a step in the direction of the inevitable big loss - you know the one where you empty your wallet then keep going back to the counter with your debit card to top up the machine funds!! I was always glad when had the inevitable loss as it got it out the way - strange but true.

Popped out to get a Chinese for tea and the Chinese is bang opposite a bookies. Would not dream of going in but noticed a man sitting at the machine - he was kind of slumped forward so guess it wasn't going well. I did smile not because it wasn't me but because there would have been a time I would have popped in to try and win the price of the meal but probably end up losing heavily - or if I did win that would just be the catalyst of the win,lose chase journey. It reminds me of the time I once went for a takeaway and it ended up costing me £300 !

Life is so much easier this way.

Went to the annual Christmas meal yesterday.

I remember so well how I skived off after the meal 6 years ago and fed £160 into the roulette machine - what a loser!!

I would have had more than enough time to go and play yesterday and was in a different area of the country where I have not self-excluded but did not even consider it.

For me it's now about helping others see the light if I can.

Dave

Just one spin away from disaster

Went into town this morning - as I walked past the bookies I noticed the same sad losers slumped in front of the machines deluded as ever thinking they can beat an ultra clever machine. None of them were smiling.

Don't mind admitting I thought I am glad that is no longer me. I don't want it to be anyone but just glad it's not me.

Am trying so hard to influence people not to play but part of me thinks its a waste of time as despite all the loss and misery caused to themselves and their families they still think they will win.

Ah we'll, can only try I suppose - at least it's no longer me.

Hi Dave

Thanks for the post and ur kind words , just read ur last few posts and can see u av some real knowledge and understanding of this illness like myself from some real painful experiences , that was then and this is now and life is much better for us both

All we can do is keep making the right choices each day and enjoy each day , life is for living now the pain and misery is gone

Castle2

Thanks for you're encouragement Castle.

My future aim is probably a little different to most as all I want to do is stay clear of the roulette machines as they were the only things that caused me a problem. Given I have self-excluded from all local bookies and have no interest in online gaming I feel fairly safe now.

The most bizarre thing is I also have no interest in betting on horses, dogs, football or indeed anything else and can happily go to a casino and spend nothing or just have a few pounds and walk away - it really was just the roulette machines that I lost my head over.

I would also like to continue encouraging others to keep off the machines and do hope that one day the government will realise it was a poor decision to have them in the high street shops and reverse the decision.

I have learnt that the best way to beat the machines, no the only way, is to keep off and just aim to keep off a day at a time and the rest will take care of itself.

I am just so pleased that the roulette machine binges are a thing of the past.

I can't believe that I used to lose £100s in a single session of chasing. It was nearly always past winnings but even so - FFS.

well done dave on your continued absitanance and fight against these evil machine,

as you know its my only downfall ( well not for past 35 days ) they really need to be regulated more

gl

It's horrifying, really, when we think about what we used to do on those dreadful machines.

I just simply cannot believe that nothing has been done about them since they first appeared around eight years ago.

Nothing!

And how many lives and the lives of the punters' families have been affected in those eight years?

The mind boggles...

NT

Just read you're diary from start to finish ....I also remember your first diary some years ago ...

...thanks for sharing.

Thanks NT and TTC

Agree NT the government should have taken action by either insisting they were casino only or reducing the maximum spin to £2 - the high street is not the place for £100 spin terminals.

TTC - thanks for reading my diary. In the end I self-excluded to break the win, lose, stop, start again cycle.

Dave

Popped out for usual Saturday evening chip pick-up. Saw a man leave the bookies, head to the ATM then walk back in - no prizes for guessing what he was playing.

Used to be me - glad its not anymore.

Thanks for the post Dave. I'm getting there. Dealing with them urges best I can. You seem to be doing great yourself. Keep it up. Don't ever go back. Such a waste of time

Thanks Dave - appreciate your kindness.

I now realise I was concentrating on the wrong thing in the past. It was my goal to stop the urges to play the roulette machine and although this would be great it just isn't going to easily happen as I have to admit they were quite exciting to play and I used to get a real high from the anticipation and odd win (did I say win, I meant temporary loan).

Where my effort needed to be concentrated was accepting the urges will occur, being ready when they came along and having as much in place as possible to knock them back. For me self-exclusion has been ultra-useful.

I must admit the urges have diminished over time but I realise they will come back maybe not for weeks, months or years but are always lurking in the background.

I continue to carry photo's in my wallet so I can self-exclude if new shops appear or if I go to a different part of the country where I have not self-excluded. Most of the time I can just not bother but its good to have back-up.

This philosophy is helping in other areas of my life generally so I now concentrate more on being ready to deal with urges rather than trying to stop the urges. Assessing / picturing the possible and probability of outcomes in advance is really helping with this.