Day 1

Didn't gamble once over weekend , being that it was a lazy weekend and had nothing to do but chill is a big achievement for me, kept myself busy with kids and my new hobby a fish tank! So thumbs up for me, hope you all had a great weekend.

Doing great to be honest, had a second glance at a email inviting me to join a casino with some tempting bonuses but deleted it straight away. Funny it seems when you self exclude yourself from a site they tell you how supportive there are!! Then I'm sure they must sell your email address to other casinos as every time I self exclude some how more casinos get my email address! Stay stronge ppl.

Payday and Xmas drink tonight after work, gambling after the pub was my last straw last time 2 weeks ago, I swore to not deposit in the month of December, so far so good. I have a different mind set now where before if I was drinking or getting paid I would be thinking I hope I don't blow to much money, this time its different I'm thinking no way am I Gona ruin this, I'm not going to play them boring, greedy machines they have no future in my life, there is no reason to play them, I'm far from loaded in fact after just transferring money to the misses, I'm skint. But do have access to credit. So this will be a telling time for me but I have confidence this time and a strength to take the correct route!

So glad to report I was successful in my promise to myself, out drinking in London and 1 minute away from casino and didn't even think about going in, even after getting drunk, it's all about mindset for me I'm finding out, still on track for a non gambling December, of course will plan further when I've completed this. Who knows non gambling 2016? Don't wanna make the task to daunting thou. Have a great Sunday people.

If I was honest, I've just been browsing the net for presents and was tempted to join a site and play a little £30, misses I'd sitting next to me and I told her, she asked me please don't. I normally snap at her at this point and say, I gave you most of my wages I can do what I want with the little left, but she's always telling me she just don't want me to waste it and treat myself which I never do, I gamble it and complain I don't have anything nice to wear ever!

Just checking in on way to work, been thinking maybe it isn't as hard as I thought, I've been keeping myself mega busy lately and the thoughts of gambling haven't even been there, as I stated in my diary above my habit is a strange one and not a daily one to say the least, infact just reading what I wrote just then made me think I've got complacent already, I go weeks without gambling then BAM Spend the 2 grand I have work hard to get me out a hole gone in 2-3 hours! Having said that so far so good and remain gamble free.

HI Steve, complacency is one of our biggest problems, we think were doing well let our guard down and wham! back to square one .

Thought about putting that 2 grand somewhere you cant access it from so quickly , at least then you have time to think before you blow it ?.

I was going to suggest giving it to your partner but hey ! with xmas coming up it still might dissappear ? LoL !

Have a good one mate , your doing well !

ALAN 135 wrote:

HI Steve, complacency is one of our biggest problems, we think were doing well let our guard down and wham! back to square one .

Thought about putting that 2 grand somewhere you cant access it from so quickly , at least then you have time to think before you blow it ?.

I was going to suggest giving it to your partner but hey ! with xmas coming up it still might dissappear ? LoL !

Have a good one mate , your doing well !

if my misses got hold of it, it would be gone before I could ever spin it!! But at least she would do the right things with it and not P**s it infront of a laptop like a sado, I'm on here tonight due to having thoughts about Saturday, the boss is out for her Xmas drink I've got the kids and already I'm thinking get them to bed early and have a cheeky £20 ,isn't Gona do any damage surly! Haven't played this month although it would mean I would fail my target of not depositing in the month of December!

Hope your well yourself mate?

£20 won't do any financial damage but the £20's that follow will you wouldn't give an alcoholic a drink and say you can have that one and no more that's not the way the story ends as you know from your own experience.

Enjoy Saturday with your two babies and then have a check on your fish tank

Fella

How many doors have you left open between you and that next punt?

You have a choice, close them or the consequences are potentially frightening.

I will share with you a question posed in my GA room by a far wiser fella than myself.

How much do you love your children?

Put a price on it.

Because whatever the price of your next punt is that is potential value of your professed love.

Why?

Because that next punt whether it be a pound or two thousand could be the one that leads to the next which eventually will see those children be permanently detached from your life.

Those words came from brutal experience.

So still thinking about a cheeky little punt?

Make the stake worthwhile

For me there are no odds on offer for me to wage what I have to lose!

Buy ice cream, sweets,a movie, enjoy your family because too many folk gambled there's away

I was fortunate to get off the ride without doubt one punt before I added to that statistic.

Please do the same.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Steve , I'm doing well thank you my friend ! . Wise words from Dunc's there buddy , you really shouldn't be thinking of planning a little evening punt and why have you even still got access to sites on your laptop or phone ?.

Not sounding harsh Steve but if you make things easy for the gambling genie to come knocking he's gonna walk right in !. Nothing changes if nothing changes ?.

Steve, online slots was my downfall. Only just stopped at beginning of month, after months of pretending everything OK. Living with parents as sold house to pay off debts and then blew little that was left so can't even afford to rent at moment. I have 2 kids too and was supposed to be stopping gambling and saving for rental. That was 2 years ago.. Family found out fortnight ago that I'd been at it again. Ashamed but determined to beat this. Have set up home Internet to block gambling sites which is a big relief to me as it was only at home I gambled. Alway seemed like too much trouble to download the software. I can now plan my evenings/time at home knowing I won't be tempted. And my family feel reassured too. Small step in recovery but it's taken 2 years to even do that as I always wanted to leave door open for another shot at slots - like you it always just started out as being small bet. Hope u can fill your Saturday with something to keep you from the slots
Visualise yourself doing something else. Make some plans and think how good you will feel on Sunday when u can honestly tell your partner how you spent your evening. Best of luck.

There's one lad in my GA meetings whose lunch cost him £400. He went on roulette to win £2.50 and came out £400 down. Those machines are so dangerous. Keep abstaining. Keep the faith.

Hi guys sorry if my last post sounded like I was asking for permission to bet or needing attention, I find it hard to express what I'm trying to say when typing, I don't really have the writing skills. It was more based on what was going through my head at the time but not my intentions, I didn't add my determination not to bet this weekend. I'm very grateful for everyone's concerns here, it's a wonderful helpful place to be right now.

Very tired today, but 1st day of my Xmas break whoop whoop! Yesterday night was tough my baby was up lots and last night was no better. Really don't feel like gambling but as stated previously the thoughts are entering my head! This also seems draining on my energys! So day chilling for me, laptop would normally be on my lap by now, trowling the net for slot sites I haven't yet self excluded myself from. Have a great day people's

ALAN 135 wrote:

Hi Steve , I'm doing well thank you my friend ! . Wise words from Dunc's there buddy , you really shouldn't be thinking of planning a little evening punt and why have you even still got access to sites on your laptop or phone ?.

Not sounding harsh Steve but if you make things easy for the gambling genie to come knocking he's gonna walk right in !. Nothing changes if nothing changes ?.

Alan I've downloaded software on my laptop and phone, there is a simple loophole I found, I'm sure others have to as I'm not exactly a master hacker won't go into details for obvious reasons but don't know how to fix it. I looked on the website but couldn't see anything about it. I'm confident I won't be gambling today any way. I have been reading your diary Alan (only upto post 34 so far)and you have got me thinking what has made me get where I am, I guess looking at it its only been the last few years. That have been a problem. I have always gambled but never had a problem. I have played and won consistly at poker, any one who plays at poker online would know it takes sheer dedication and Discipline which thinking about it now, the slots have robbed me of as when I was sick of losing at slots I tried to go back to poker and found I didn't have the patients any more and didn't find it exciting like I used to! This post was 4 times as long but I deleted it, due to me thinking it didn't make sense lol I've been up since 545am with the baby, told the misses I would let her have some time in bed now I'm off work, already regretting that one mate! Lol