Day 1

A huge well done, this is definitely the hardest thing to give up. That is mad that people were burned to a crisp sitting at machines. Best example ever of the compulsion that can grip the gambling addict.

Every single day gamble free is a big win. Take courage and inspiration from the inner strength you have shown so far

The first few days are hard but the most important in my opinion. This is when you are at your strongest. Write down all your hatred for gambling. All its hurt you. This is amazing to read back when things get tough later on. It gets easier, but your brain gets clever. It tries to trick you into thinking the odd gamble won’t hurt. That’s when you look back and realise, that’s not the answer. Soon the brain gets retrained and you will detest the thought. That’s what I’ve done and so far so good!

great job so far mate, keep it up.

Stay strong. 💪 

@p6z38njbqm thanx that’s a good idea I do hate gambling it destroyed me it’s honestly my biggest enemy it’s taken my money , my car , all my nice things , all my savings , all my paychecks for last 20 years . it’s the worst addiction anyone can have .

I read my diary from start to end at least once a week. It reminds me of what this has done to me. Highly recommend it! The first few weeks are alway gut wrenching for me and that’s a huge motivation 

@p6z38njbqm  good idea

Hi Peter

I made it through day 12, onto day 13 :). I hope you are doing well xx

day 4 today , my anger was out of control , broke my favourite sunglasses than felt about it , was feeling very irritated . Every day without gambling is a miracle I’m grateful I didn’t gamble today even tho I didn’t have a good day 

@aoxbg6d3ji  hi , as good as I can I guess considering I completely destroyed my life by my gambling lol yup I’m still clean , thx for checking . I miss my car I had a beautiful car brand new and I sold it to gamble I gambled the money in 1 week . I feel like such a loser sometimes I can’t take it and just want to disappear . 

Hi Peter

It sounds like you are having some quite overwhelming emotions at the moment, and I wonder if you are getting any support with them? I can thoroughly recommend the samaratins if you don't feel able to talk to anyone you know. When I feel angry I find some physical exercise can help, or if I'm feeling sad. The only thing you can change now is the future.

Stay strong, you're doing so well 

Hello peter

Thanks for sharing this.

There can be so much loss associated with gambling and I can hear the huge emotional and financial impact this is all having on you. It sounds like you hold a lot of shame and are trying to process everything.

You mention sometimes wanting to disappear and it sounds like it can become quite overwhelming. If you’d like to talk to us, our Helpline is available 24/7 on 0808 8020 133 or you can use the live chat service (also available 24 hours a day). You can find out more details about these here:  https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ . We can provide a space for you to talk about how you’re feeling and also provide you with advice on where to go for more support. Samaritans can also support you at any time if you’re experiencing emotional distress:  https://www.samaritans.org/  Tel: 116 123.

You’re doing so well to continue being gamble-free – it sounds like you have a lot of strength.

Hope you can keep posting about how you’re getting on.

Wishing you well,

Claire

Forum Admin

@forum-admin  thank you , day 5 still going strong , I’m motivated to beat this demon once and for all

day 6 today , had some thoughts not really urges , really don’t wanna go back to feeling like death again , 20 years of hurting myself was enough but taking it one say at a time .  not feeling my best physically had a bad sleep last night but grateful to be clean today . Planning to go to in person ga meeting on Sunday . 

Nice one, keep up the great work. I am still walking the road to recovery gf as well 🙂. We got this! Hope you sleep better tonight x

Day 8 today . It took me 20 years to realize that nobody can win long term every win will always go back it’s a fact , no matter how much I won I always put it back in plus my own money . the game never ends so how can you win at something that has no ending it’s inevitable that one will lose Everything when gambling . Today a friend texted me that he won $4000 I didn’t even get triggered because I know within a week or less that money will be gone back in the machines . I don’t envy him one bit I’ve been there a million times no thanx . 
It’s still annoying tho that he is constantly texting about gambling I don’t wanna hear it . 

@b35wu7ym1z it took my 20 years as well.  You are in good company 😉

I think that you need to make it clear to your friend that you don't need that kind of information.  Fair play, it may not trigger you now when your resolve is strong but it can prompt feelings and behaviours as time passes.

And you are right.  Noone wins long term with gambling.  If we did the gambling companies would not exist and I would be living in a penthouse with infinity pool.

Keep posting