Day 1... Came clean

Hi Katie. Must be something in the air. I'm struggling tonight. Love that this is a place for people to be open but wish people would leave out their wins as it triggers me like crazy. My fingers are hovering over my phone trying to think of what websites I can try that I haven't excluded from. Total madness! Read you're post about feeling in control about debts and it calmed me a bit and used my hovering fingers to type out on here instead. Hope you feel better. Don't give in xx

Strong urges last night, thankfully blocked online

.

Hi Katie,

I used to be scared to relax too. I used to take on work at the weekends, plus my 40 ish hours a week...I have decided to stop that, and only work when I really want to or want to put some money aside for holiday etc. They are urges, nothing more than that. Your ego is trying to tell you that you do not deserve the happiness of a gamble free life, but you do. You deserve, peace, happiness, and financial security. My one piece of advice for you, it takes a lot of effort to battle strong urges, it makes you feel drained. Why don't when the urges come, say thanks mind, and say to yourself, I could do that, but I choose not to. It will get easier.

Julie x

Yes work up with a phew feeling if what could have been if I had access

Congrats on your 41 days and I'm with you on those urges, praise be for blocks etc. I've been on my own all day but planned a super tight schedule to stay busy and to not think bad thoughts, regrets etc......hope things ease up for you as you deserve to be able to relax and not feel anxious. Take care S x

.

Hi Katie hope you're ok....yep it is a rollercoaster for sure! I definitely couldn't handle the extreme highs and lows anymore and now take comfort in the consistency of not gambling, hasn't been easy though. Today I have just been thinking why and how did I dig myself into such a deep hole and some of the answers have been a harsh reality 🙁 hey Ho, best wishes and here's to a GF future, take care S 🙂

Hi Katie, please don't kid yourself that your gamble free days are growing when you start the post with a relapse...It's a dangerous concept. I understand the need to not beat yourself up but win or lose, it really is playing with fire 🙁

I am very disappointed to read that you have also written how much you 'won' when a few posts earlier, someone supporting you had written what a trigger that is?

You can't wish yourself off of this rollercoaster but you can get off - ODAAT

.

Done myself no favours... my anxiety is awful even after a win. Can't do this no more my thought process is out of control. Need to find my inner calm

Agree that there may be many paths but your present one isn't taking you anywhere that you want to go. Try a less comfortable path?

CW

.

I'm with you here, still do in a way think and worry about money continuously and wonder does everyone do this. I guess all you can do is draw the line and if the urges come remember how gambling and the aftermath makes you feel ( easier said than done, I'm not in anyway preaching) Thanks for you words of encouragement when I first arrived, we're all in the same boat, take care S x

.