Day 1 of starting diary (day 5 of not having gambled): Not doing this anymore. I have to beat this illness!

Hey lfc how are you doing. Not seen you on here for a couple of days. Hope you are still battling on?

Anthony

I just thought I would update everyone on how I am doing!! I have managed not to have a bet since I first wrote this diary, so if I have added it up correctly it has now been 123 days since I gambled :D. I am very proud of myself for this, and the reason that this has been possible is because I have strong will power, but also I am busy everyday.

I am so glad I no longer have the bad nightmares about gambling, and whenever I do see a casino advertisement or something similar it makes me think of everything I did and the pain I felt when I did what I did. This puts me off doing it ever again! I fully believe I will make it to 365 days which is my next aim!!

Everyone who is on here, and trying to quit, please stay strong because you can beat this horrible addiction!!

Hi lfc i have read your diary and well done for reaching a great milestone.

Did you ever get to america?

Keep going and stay strong.x

Hi Elizabeth, yes I did make it to the USA. I am still here working hard to get my masters and playing football. I will be sure to keep up the hardwork. I have already highlighted that my time at home for Xmas will be my toughest challenge but now that my brother knows I am sure I will not go back to my old ways. I must ensure that I keep busy during my 4 weeks back at home, and have no large money amounts at my disposal :). X

Hello again GamCare members,

I was previously on this site three years ago, as I gambled away a lot of money (to me) and thought I had wasted my future. However, I didn't allow a few silly mistakes to prevent me from exploring my dream, as I did make it to the USA. Those two years have flown passed and I have now completed a two masters program and am about to start my job officially next monday!!

I unfortunately went to the casino on saturday night and ended up losing. While I have been to the casino here and there, and either won a little (50GBP) or lost a little (50GBP), I got carried away on saturday. I ended up losing 300GBP. I spent all night saturday awake and worrying about it, and all day yesterday beating myself up about it. I then came home last night, and did my food shopping and fell asleep and slept for a solid 12 hours.

I just wanted to then come on this website and write it all down. As I honestly do not think it will turn in to a problem again, as I am never surrounded by casinos (closest one is 1 hour away and I do not have a car) but still I want to knock it on the head just in case and this website really helped last time, from writing my story down and reading other peoples.

It really does hurt thinking about all that happened on saturday. As I was at my girlfriends and we had talked about going to see a movie, but I said no because I am tired of having to be the one that pays for everything.

I understand that she is having money problems at the minute, because just like me she has graduated from school (bachelors) and has not been very successful at finding a job (not because of her abilities but just no jobs being available). But I had just paid for an expensive meal for valentines day and then she was asking me to fork out again. And so I said no because I am sick to death of paying for everything, and so I said I wanted to go to the casino instead.

I know why I said this, and this is because we had a really bad argument on the friday and my head was in a bad place and I wanted to drive home with my other friends but she insisted I came back with her.

While I accept responsibility for my actions, because it was me that asked to go and me that walked in to the casino and spent the money, it just hurts that my girlfriend who knew about my past and the reasons why I gambled (helped me forget about my problems and in this case the problem for me was her and I) still drove me there.

Oh well, it is a lesson learned, and fortunately this amount of money compared to what I did back in 2011 can be replaced. But money aside I just need to concentrate on getting my emotional state back in check.

I am trying to be optimistic in how I think, and that's because I am telling myself that this was a nice early reminder before I start earning money from my job, that it is best for me to stay away from a casino as there are better things to spend/waste money on..creating memories with friends, my girlfriend, family and so on.

I hope this all makes sense, and sorry for anyone who reads this and becomes confused.

LFC1990