Hi im a 34 yr old woman and betting shop manager, I know its like an alcoholic running a pub. I've been gambling since I was 13 started with days out at the track with my brother and ends up here a CG hoping to break this destructive cycle. Today if I'm honest is the first day In a long time ive not had a bet in any shape or form. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest and so very alone and aware. I have lied to my partner and family especially the last few years, I have got us to the point of financial ruin and still I gamble. I chose today to take my life back, to try and rebuild the destruction my addiction has caused. I hate the person I am when I gamble. I want my family and my partner to trust me and be proud, I want to get married to my wonderful partner and have a family and that cannot happen if I continue to gamble.
Ive tried many times to stop but if im honest I didn't really want to I just wanted to stop getting caught. Last night after making a commitment to myself to stop I slept for the longest I have in years because for once I actually believe I have a shot. I know its going to be the hardest thing ive ever done but all I can do is try.
I know my family want me to stop but are concerned and dubious that I can, ive said it all before but I can stop.
Hi you know more than most on here. Just wanting to stop is not enough you have to keep wanting to stop. Restrict access to money bring a book to work and take care you are in a tough environment but many people have done it on here in similar workplaces it is just a little harder.
Thanks MichaelS thats very true have to keep wanting to stop, I know there will be temptation and its hard at work. my partner has control of all the finances now, credit cards, wages the lot, cancelled my cards as I memorise the numbers, if I don't have them cant use them.
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