day 3

well having a sh@@ty day , normally in this kind of a day i'd normally do my brains in the betting shop but hasn't been a small temptation so that must be good cheers john.

S****y days are really very good for us, but only on the day after!!!!

that is when you get a chance to reflect on how you actually coped.

not gambling on a S****y day is a bonus, and gives us some encouragement that we might actually be doing things right!!!

so how are you feeling this morning?

what did yesterday teach you about yourself?

was there anything that you did that you could do differently?

how can you use the negative feelings of just being you to help you move forward in your understanding of you and how you relate to yourself and others?

hang in there john, you are doing brilliantly.

hello carol-anne, well dont think we ever stop learning about ourselves mostly because we keep changing. but as far as gambling is concerned i know that otherside of me well i learned years ago that having an addiction compares with a split personality very closely so try to keep that side down by imagining 2 little fellows in my mind , one good one bad gambler and i just let the good one give the idiot a good kicking!! but its not letting that side of us creep up and catch us unaware thats always the problem.the S****y day was more my wifes health when it gets her down as well as my feeling down for her and myself i can also be her let off steam target or she needs this that or the other done to make her feel better . now i know i HAVE to do basically what she wants ( normally dont want to ) but no prob it just all catches up thats all . poor girl has had an a**e of a time her sister has the same illness as her and they lost their stepfather at xmas to a similar unforgiving illness which im not going to go on about here just to say i wear a pink ribbon . S****y days come and S****y days go, i've been offered counciling at work but only as a courtesy , as they can see i cope surprisingly well its just me i can still go in and roar at managment at work regardless and go about my buisness in a normal manner . just have S****y days . i can lose myself in a book easily on these days normally but yesterday was doing the wifes 'chores'so my mind was open to whatever self pittying thoughts that materialised anyway new day big england game tonight and beer is in the fridge thanks for reading carol-ann all the best john.

Hi John, hope your day was more chilled out for you and things on the homefront are better.

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate some days but you also sound like a coper who just gets on with it.

It does have an affect seeing someone you love, suffering and I admire the way you are there for her.

When I used to get stressed I headed for the Arcades and caused myself even more stress as a result!!as I did not have the time I should have with my family.

So not gambling has given me a better quality of life and the good backlash for my family is that they see a more relaxed me.

I too have a "split personality" whereby the majority of people I know see this sensible pleasant lady who gets on with what life throws at her,good job,lovely family and yet there is this other "silly mare" who will waste every penny in her bank account and hide the amount she has spent.

And cause herself to despise what she does and have guilty feelings for doing what she knows is wrong for her!!!

I am hoping I can finally learn that my way forward is to abstain completely from any form of gambling.

Good luck too in your gambling free quest. Joy

thanks joy and yesterday was much better , im sure we are basically all the same mate, copers and decent with it keep up your efforts girl all the best john

well big couple of days , last time i had a bet was saturday after payday last month and its payday today so if i get through this weekend its a month. have absolute confidence so gonna do my days buisness then possibly have a jar or 2 then come home with a wages intact and hand them over no probs . all the best john.

Hi John

You are doing really well John, I hope you have got home with wages in tact, depending how many jars you have had, it cost a fortune to have a pint now!!

Get through one day at time, and you will fine.

Take care and keep strong.

Onwards and upwards

Luckygirl

well thanks luckygirl, went pretty much to plan . put myself in a position where it would have been easy to slip up , had much too much to drink , withdrew as much money as card allowed and got pretty drunk as the morning went well . i was in lots of good company the only one that knew of my packing it in was my dad who is murder as a gambler but he behaved himself and apart for a brief twinge gambling was well to the back of my mind . the missus helped as she and the kids picked me up as i know from history that its a long way home drunk with many temptations so she was great , unfortunatley was bit to drunk and in a wind up mood as i was ln such good spirits so when i saw id P***** her off a bit too much had the sense to pack myself off to bed like a naughty boy!! everything is fine though . today wont be a prob as im working from about 10 till 9 so should be easy . thanks all the best john.

Well done for keeping wages intact. Can be very hard to resist just small flutter which then leads to broke!! so good on you.

Have plenty of paracetemol if you need some this morning!!and pop the sunglasses on as its so bright out there, hard on the old eyeballs after night out.

Its good when we know we wont have reason to be tempted, it all helps. I to have work today and thank you John for your support on my diary, needed that, and same back to you. cheers Joy

well yesterday went well i think being my first payday since stopping that was a real milestone . i'd like to thank everyone that has helped me here you have all been a real help im just sorry that i cant contribute to everybodies diary . thanks and all the best john.

well boring me nothing to say but still ok , still dont trust myself but thats probably the way to be. all the best john.

Hey John,

John,

You are doing just great, ok you dont trust yourself, but that is good because you know the threat is always there. One day at a time is the way to go.

Take care and keep strong

Luckygirl

thanks lg , kim . seems ok just gotta keep my wits about me i think , been here before. all the best john.

Hang in there John,

Kim xx