So Day 39 gamble free. I have been a compulsive gambler for these last 7 years. Every month as soon as I was paid I would gamble my wages which would then mean I would not be able to pay my bills and my creditors. Inevitably I would lose all of my wages and for the rest of the month I would be scrabbling around for money to buy food for my family. I would end up telling some lie to my partner so that she would end up paying my bills or buying food etc... Lies and deception became a normal part of my life and I changed into a person I did not recognise. But for the first time in all those years I have been able to get through a pay day without gambling any of my wages away. I have paid all my bills and creditors for this month and I have some (not much!) money in the bank. The next few months will be difficult until a whole load of pay day loans have been paid off, but during 2019 I know that I will gradually see my finances improving. For me, the key to staying gamble free has been GAMSTOP. Every time I have tried to stop in the past I have always left 'a door' open. Perhaps a site I did not exclude from, or a device I did not put blocking software on, but with GAMSTOP I know that every door is firmly shut, and to be completely honest with you I really don't want to open it. I know it is still very early days but I am very proud of what I have achieved so far. I just want to have the grace and strength to stay gamble free for today, I will worry about tomorrow when it comes.
Stu x
Well done Stu an amazing achievement. I too can not recommend Gamstop enough. I didn’t use it last time and managed to find new websites etc to join and start this whole horror again. Now knowing I cannot do this gives me hope I can beat this addiction this time. Also this time I have been honest and come clean to whole family and friends and husband and with support of them and the feeling of not wanting to let them down either I know I can and will stay gf. Best of luck to you.
Congratulations stu.
We are the same amount of time gf and I can say undoubtedly that we are also on the same page. Gamstop is a blessing. I too don’t want to go back.
Onwards and upwards for us both.
Sarah
thanks Sarah and HHyatt. Day 40. Whoop whoop!!
stay strong everyone
Congratulations keep going and don't quit. You have made a great start
Day 43
Thanks Alan.
Had some urges today, but didn't act on them. Sort of caught me by surprise as hadn't been thinking about gambing for the last few days. Keeping busy this w/end helping at the church christmas bazaar and then taking out the family to celebrate my 10 year old's bday. Am feeling that life is sooo much better without gambling and all the lies and deceit that go with it.
keep strong
Stuxx
Day 44
My lovely dad had a massive stroke 3 years ago just a couple of months before my wonderful mum passed away. That was a really horrible time. Dad is now stable and back living in the family home after a long stay in hospital and nursing care, but the stroke has severly affected him and he cannot live independently any more. I've got a day off today so am taking the family up to see dad and to take him out for lunch.
Have a good day everyone, stay gf
Stuxx
44 days is fantastic,
Hope you have a great day out with the family. Those occasions are always better when you are gamble free.
Hi stu,
We have made it to 45 days. I’m proud of us both. You are doing amazingly well. Long may it continue. Hope you had a wonderful time with your family this weekend.
Take care,
Sarah
Hi Stu,
Youre doing great and remember each day we dont gamble we become a better person than we were yesterday. One day at a time.
Kind Regards
AL
I am a day behind you guys, but just thought I'd drop in and share my support. I've tried quitting many many times before and never made it past the 10 day mark, and those days have each been a seemingly endless battle. Now here I am on day 44. It felt, to me, as though something just went off in my brain and I was finally ready to stop. Perhaps my own rock bottom.
It's not been easy, but I've found now I can go several hours, even an entire day, without thinking about gambling. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, I'll have a little gambling thought and realise that hang on, gambling hasn't even crossed my mind for hours until now! For an addict that for 4 years, had very little run through his head apart from gambling, this was definitely a strange thing to feel. Having said this, we mustn't become complacent, and remember every day how much this addiction has effected us and our loved ones. I've got a page written out at home which I read every day, basically just reminding me what my life can be like if I keep this at bay, and what it could be like if I ever go back. It also has a little matrix of boxes at the bottom to tick one off each day. Nice to see so many ticks in there now, i'm going to have to make a new one soon.
Stay strong on your journeys guys, I'm only ever a PM away if anybody wants to talk privately.
Lando
Day 46
the days seem to be flying by, it will feel good to reach 50.
feeling ok today. Going to work soon so that will keep me busy. Hopefully will log onto chat tonight.
take care everyone, Stu x
lando92 wrote:
. I've got a page written out at home which I read every day, basically just reminding me what my life can be like if I keep this at bay, and what it could be like if I ever go back. It also has a little matrix of boxes at the bottom to tick one off each day. Nice to see so many ticks in there now, i'm going to have to make a new one soon.
That sounds like a fantastic idea Lando, and interestingly not disimmilar to Gambler's Anonymous poem "Just for today"
stu38 wrote:
Day 46
the days seem to be flying by, it will feel good to reach 50.
feeling ok today. Going to work soon so that will keep me busy. Hopefully will log onto chat tonight.
take care everyone, Stu x
Thats great going Stu.
Stay strong, a day at a time
50 days, whoop whoop.
Can't believe it really. In the last few years I have managed 20 or 30 days. As I've said before it's the fact that GamStop is available. I only used to gamble on line so it means I can't gamble even if I wanted to. I have had a few urges but not as many as I thought I would. I first started gambling when work became incredibly stressful, and then, even though the stressful situation passed I kept gambling and it became a routine, something I felt I couldn't do without. And then my wife got ill, my mum died and my dad had a stroke all within a couple of months and life got very stressful again and I became more dependant on gambling than ever before.
But then, as I continued to lose and lose and lose I found myself getting really fed up with the gambling, and I wanted to stop but felt powerless to do so. And then I heard about GamStop and it gave me the courage to break the cycle.
I was so fed up with the lying and deception, I had become someone I didn't recognise, moody, angry, depressed, anxious. I am slowly getting back to the old stu I recognise and feel that my life has some integrity again.
I hope that my lovely mum is looking down and can see that I've stopped.
So 50 days gamble free. Here's to the next 50.
God bless, stay strong everyone.
Stux
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