Day One 7th November - My new life

I can't give you much advice this is my first day too I've been gambling the past 9 years. Just stay strong and hold it together nothing is impossible!

And I'm into day 2. Day one was fairly easy in terms of not gambling to be honest but this may only be because I had no access to money, there were no major sporting events happening and I was still in disbelief I had messed up again the day before.

I met with my girlfriend as planned she knew nothing of the latest mess up and we went for some local pub grub. Shortly before eating I informed of the usual news and told her the exact latest details. Obviously she wasn't too impressed, I stressed to her the importance of her being very strict with me if we were to continue and various measures I was willing to put in place - ga meetings, receipting of any cash spent, this diary and generally attempting to sort my life out.

She was obviously extremely disappointed in the news but seemed more upbeat than normal at the prospect of me attempting to stop and to put certain steps in place to help.

That was Friday night and the end of day one of stopping gambling, I'm now into the morning of day two. A Saturday, a terrible day for gamblers. I'm not really that fussed about the horses but enjoy all other sports, especially football. I have no real money today so I will be okay but I have to set myself up with my phrase again 'if I win, I'll lose it afterwards, therefore pointless' so just follow the football with the excitement and passion I did before gambling.

One day at a time without gambling and then this will mean that this day has improved my lifestyle and mentality.

The measures I now have in place are self exclusion from betting shops, girlfriend has access to bank account and has my debit card, I am doing this daily diary, I shall be attending one ga meeting a week from this week and I will be receipting any spent money. If there are any more tips or suggestions then please advise?

Hi mate from reading above you have done a lot in terms of barriers and your girlfriend knowing everthing etc etc so its a good start and well done on that. Getting to a ga meeting will be very good for you and perhaps a gam anon meeting for your GF where she can get help and support for herself too if there is 1 near you. Keep a daily diary its a 1 day at a time recovery and most importantly draw a line under what is lost thats gone now and you can never win it back....Stay strong your life will be better each and every day you dont gamble so I wish you well in our battle against this wretched illness...x

Forgot to update this the last two days, I'm now into day five and the start of today. Public transport has meant I'm now late for work, not the best start to the day. I'm stressing because I've just moved onto a new team at work and don't want to be late, I feel like I need something to de stress, this usually would be a bet, not really a replacement really available so I'll have to grin and bear it.

I found Sunday quite hard, football on TV all day and my usual habit for the last 10 years would mean a bet, or if no money and look at the odds or even an attempt to lend money. I got threw it in the end. Yesterday, Monday, was quite good. Busy at work, went fast and chilled when I got home.

I would say I'm having bad trouble sleeping which makes me rather tired and irritable during the day. I'm not sure if this is related to the gambling or not, I'm sure in time I will be able to identify this.

Seems the in laws have been asking questions about my lack of money to my girlfriend, not sure what it really has to do with them. It seems people have the right to question you over your financial state these days. I have suggested that I tell them the situation and be honest, but my other half thinks if I did I wouldn't be allowed in the house. Even if I'm trying to change apparently I would be seen as s**m of the earth.

Hopefully I make up some time on this awful journey to work so far and this day gets a bit better. One thing is for sure I'm going to make sure I don't gamble 🙂

I was going to only update this once per day but I felt the need to update again.

The day didn't start in the greatest fashion, eventually I got to work 30 minutes late. The upside is though rather than doing my usual and moaning about this all day, feeling down and seeking a payday loan or some other avenue to gamble I got on with my work had a productive day and make plans to see the girlfriend tonight. I'm on on the way home and can say that gambling hasn't really come into my head.

One regular pattern I'm finding is that when I check sports updates, news or results I find myself thinking I thought they would win, wonder what odds they were etc. I then quickly realise, I don't gamble anymore. Hopefully this is just a habit thing and won't be a major issue going forward.

Changed my shifts on a Wednesday going forward to make it easier to attend GA meeting. First one back for 3 years tomorrow, hope it goes okay.

Good luck to you all too. Let's all just remember whilst we do not gamble our life will improve 🙂

Hi Bully,

And what would you have done if you had of gambled and won, you would have put all those winnings back on and then chased. Very well done on making that right only choice to win, and that is simply to abstain and maintain

Well done again keep going

Suzanne xx

Indeed your correct. I turned 20 into 5k 18 months ago and blew the lot! Waste of time can't win.

Hi mate. My day one. Just wanted to say well done so far. I don't know you but I am proud of you buddy. Keep it coming please.

Hi mate,

Good work on your first steps to dealing with your gambling problem, and being honest with those you care about, while it can be tough at the time will give you extra support in the long run. While checking the sports results is normal, the thoughts about the odds and what could have been won fade over time, and you can enjoy the sport simply for the sake of it.

Is it tomorrow/today that your GA meeting is? Hope it goes well.

Keep up the good work,

Ryan

And I'm onto Thursday, one week since I last messed up. This is the 7th day of my recovery.

Last night was GA night, I asked the missus to come over with me as its a 25 minute drive just to make sure I went and so she could have some reassurance. The journey over was was not greatest rush hour traffic, nowhere to park and finding somewhere to eat was a bit difficult but I made it there on time. Upon my arrival I entered to find that the room was packed full and the general male/female ratio was almost an identical split, I soon found out that it was an open meeting where members could bring their partners. I made a decision to text my girlfriend to come in as she was sat outside in the car, she was in the room almost before the message delivered.

I decided not to talk on the first night, just so to listen and also because I felt mighty uncomfortable with the thought of talking in front of nearly 50 people and also my girlfriend listening in on my first attendance.

There were a couple of people celebrating anniversaries of not gambling so I got to hear their stories, and generally people didn't have too many issues. I stopped for two hours but because of the drive back I then left and informed the chair that I would return next week.

My girlfriend seemed to enjoy the meeting, if that is at all possible. I'm sure she would prefer to be spending her Wednesday nights doing something else! She seemed quite happy with me attending and I think it also helped to her to hear the stories and the partners also speak.

So far I'm doing okay after a week, I have no money to gamble with but I suppose if I wanted to I could find some avenue to get some so on that note all is good. I haven't been checking any odds or even reading about gambling other than on here so again that would be progress. The test will come on payday, when my usual urge to spend would stream through my head. My wages have now been changed to be pay into my girlfriends account so that may help the situation.

On the whole a decent start, but a start is all it is.

Now for a busy day at work and a decent Thursday.

Good Luck all and have a good day.

Hi bully,

Very well done on one week, and for going to GA, you are doing great keep going.

Suzanne xx

Good work mate. See? You are not alone. I find it very brave of your girlfriend to accompany you to last night's meeting. My therapist once told me "your partner may seem very angry but deep down they want things to recover, maybe more than you know, so they will be there for you"

Thanks for all your comments.

Its Friday and Day 8 of no gambling. Nearly completed.

Found yesterday difficult. Managed to successfully apply for an internal job 2 months ago, I have been doing the role 3 weeks only to be told that for at least the next month I'll have to go back to my old department as they are snowed under.

This caused me to become slightly dismayed with work as I only stayed at my workplace due to my role change! I felt like I just wanted to place a big bet to allow my mind to drift away from issue. Within seconds I realised this would be making matters worse. I have no money anyway, but as said previously anyone can get money one way or other if need be.

Struggling to deal with the fact I'm back in old role but have to just get on with it. Can say that other than initially it hasn't affected my recovery.

I have to remain patient and accept that it will be a little while before big progress is made debt wise but to be able to make any progress at all I have to stop making matters worse by gambling.

Good luck to you all. Just try and remember no point gambling because if you win you will eventually lose so may as well not bother to start.

Have a good Friday night people.