Hey Carla...
I think i need a word with u missus 🙂
Don't u dare to beat urself up over it. Recovery is bespoke and we learn on the way. We have to keep trying until we succeed.
Can i ask what was going through ur head while you was at it? Did you block everything else out..or actually enjoyed a punt/spin? You can't win darling..and i'm sure you not going in there to give ur money away and feed already rich bosses.
I for one will not give up on you..so just find that f*****g strentgh and stand tall for urself and everyone u care for!!! Now..you had enough sleep so get ur b**t back on here and keep posting, shouting, swearing and working things out...:-)
(((Carla))) - believe in urself ....xx
Hey Carla, read your post 🙁
Where the f**k is Volcano then ?
Dark Place
Back on that horse (and not the high one, I hope).
Despite my dark funk, I forced myself to go to the drumming circle thing last night. I was the only newbie. It went alright. I do tend to throw myself into certain things and I think I impressed them somewhat. There were only 8 of us but it was a mix of people including a few hippie peacenik types. Peace and love and all that jazz. They did laugh when I expressed disappointment that we wouldn't be using voodoo dolls and casting spells on people we dislike. Little did they know that I would seriously have enjoyed that. Really, there wasn't a whole lot of instruction... just a couple of hand placements (I'm talking African Djembe drumming) and an ability to keep a beat. Dare I say I had fun. I could almost drum myself into a trance-like state. I'd like to keep doing it regularly but am afraid work will take over my entire life again in the very near future. We'll see. S'all for now. Maybe more later today. Maybe not.
Hiya Carla sorry to hear you've had a slip and things are to great at the mo. You just gotta keep fighting. Try not to do to much to fast and think to much to soon. Just take a step back and do it one day at a time. Try also to think why you slipped and what barriers you could put in place to stop the same thing happening again. Take care and stay strong, you know what you want and you know how to get it. Never give up giving up!
Carla
If you are boring and don't do much then I am in the same bracket. 101 reasons for us being like that. Doesn't make us bad people and doesn't mean things won't change. But if they do stay the same then fine so be it. A lot of people are worse off.
Good Morning Carla
Top lass for your continued support, it does mean a hell of a lot!! Sorry for being a slack ar-se in return. A temporary slump!!
Anyways keep beating them drums of recovery, and keep marching forward with your head held high as you fight many fronts.
Right next to you and willing you on.
(((((((C))))))))))
Your prayers have been answered ! Dark Place
Woot woot! Temp outside has warmed to zero but heart has warmed 100%! Busy day ahead. Haircut in an hour. Drive friends to airport (sniffle, sniffle), pick up e-toothbrush I won (in another town but sticking with the best dentist in the world), attend required money mangmt seminar and more. Have to post later instead of usual morning. Reminder to self... don't forget gratitude,
Hey Carla,
Hey...look at you all rushing around 😉 Absolutely great stuff!!!
I can see what a bit of lava of our beloved Volcano can do to ladies lol...great..keep it up girl!! 🙂
Take care and enjoy ur day...you deserve it!!
S x
Gee... It seems I've gone from zero to 100. Usually have had quite leisurely days since being off but today is a whirlwind. Feels kind of good to be busy again. Haircut done and feels so much better. Was long overdue. Dropped friends at airport and had a very teary goodbye. I will miss them so much. Don't blame them for getting out of here! Stopped at grocery store, then another colleagues to drop off thankyou note from the friends flying home. Have an hour to make something to eat and head to seminar. Gratitude reflection: My foreigner friends. I'll miss them a lot but they enriched my life while they were here. And the colleague I just dropped the note to. Don't want to say I'm glad he had a stroke back in July... but I was the one who realized it was happening and got him help. It really, really scared me and is a big part of the reason I am trying to get healthy again as I realized it could easily have been me. Have to postpone writing on other diaries for now or I won't get to eat.
But ... thinking of the "Shut Up" video Sandra posted, brought this vid to my mind...
Indeed, Sandra, we can't do without our Volcano. Good that Rachel lured him out of hiding! And just when things were starting to get on an even keel.... my sis called. She got a call today and they said she has to come back for another biopsy... that something was off. w*f?? Why on earth do they first tell her 80 % chance she has it... then say no, she's all good.... and now say come back??? f-ck. I don't get it. She's now waiting for a call back tomorrow. She's asking for a meeting between radiologist and surgeon because the nurse... ach... nevermind. Just crossing my fingers.
Hey Carla,
Girl you are not on your own. Your sis will be alright. Don't overthink things and keep positive. My thoughts with you and of course big ((((((((((((((( Carla ))))))))))))))
Thank you so much for brightening my morning by your supportive post. I wish you sweet dreams ( i suppose it's the time now lol) and will look forward to read your inspiring post later on.
Keep strong my friend and take it day at a time. Surely better days to come 🙂
Sandra x
Well that sucks about your sister and yeah playing mind games suck even more. Hopefully just something precautionary and making sure she's good to go. Got my fingers crossed with ya.
Hello Carla
Only a short post today, just to say hoping you find the strength to deal with everything. Lifes journey is a concept which may misunderstand and fool hardly pre determine and judge !
Dark Place
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