He addmited he had a problem but now is in denial

Just to mention, he went though gamcare for 3 months last year and did get help.

He's not willing to do it this time as he hasn't admitted he has a problem again. 

Raffles are gambling 

Lottos are gambling 

Anything that wagers money in the hope of more money is basically gambling.

He needs to come back to recovery to help himself 

That's about it really, I hope you find a way to get help for him

All the best 

Dave101

Posted by: @dave101

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Raffles are gambling 

Lottos are gambling 

Anything that wagers money in the hope of more money is basically gambling.

He needs to come back to recovery to help himself 

 

That's about it really, I hope you find a way to get help for him

 

All the best 

 

Dave101

I brought it up last night, and again he says he hasn't gambled since therapy and a raffle isn't gamberling as he could give up right now. Thing is he said all this to Me before

He turned it around and said I shouldn't be phoning gamcare to address his problems, I should start therapy to address my problem (he says I'm controlling him- of course I am after all he's put me through as im scared he'lldo it again) I said that wasn't the step in the right direction and speaking to the therapist about his gamberling was a step to help me trust him again but, the therapist told me the opposite! 

He said the therapist I spoke to wasn't what the therapist he spoke to said. They said raffles are fine and so are the lotto. I just don't understand how surely they work from the same policy and place how can they tell us different.

@ci8jtsp0n7 hey, I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this and completely understand your concern.

I was previously with someone who had a problem with gambling. I was with them for 10 years and only found out his addiction in the last few years of our relationship. During that time I tried to support them but everything become my fault and a lot my concerns got pushed back on me to take away from his behaviours. It sounds like your experiencing the same - deflection is a way to take the focus away from them.

From what I’m aware lottery, raffles, trading is all a form of addiction. If I’m being honest (and again only from my experience) it sounds like your partner is not ready to stop. I had a similar experience I supported him in going to counselling, to the doctor, working out money, adjusting my communication, checking in but I continued to receive lies and become the blame of their problems. Whether it was in the form I was being told I was controlling or I didn’t have a solution to their problem or I choose to stay so I should expect and except their behaviour. Unfortunately you cannot force someone to stop they have to want it themselves. This ultimately left me with no option but to leave the relationship.

I’m not telling you to leave, only you know what’s right for you your baby girl but maybe set boundaries in your head and set those boundaries with him and make him aware of those because sometimes the lies and deflection will continue until they want to stop, they hit rock bottom or you remove yourself from the situation. P.s Addiction does not only affect them but those who are closest to them. You have every right to seek support for yourself and get advice. Your mental health is just as important. 

Sending lots of love and support.