DГ©sormais......

Congrats on your 3/4 of a century 🙂

How come you get parakeets & I just get S****y pidgeons cooing so bloody loudly they wake me up - No fair! I could put a table out in the garden but it probably wouldn't be fair...The mutt probably isn't switched on enough (must take after his 'daddy') to catch them but he'd have a jolly good go & scare them half to death! Then he'd want to go outside all the time to look up longingly & sniff towards the table just in case anything rolled off! Deffo a billion times better than gambling!

Much better profile piccy 🙂

Good one NT,x

Hey Ade where's Terry gone, lol.

Anyways thanks for your post,

Hey even your mrs would agree that bird watching lol, beats gambling any day

Well done you on 75 days

Suzanne xxx

Hi Ade,

10 min run is wonderful! Do not push yourself my friend, even a stroll in a fresh air can do more than heavenly job 🙂

Stay safe and sound and of course keep battling for your freedom, you're doing more than well 😉 proud of you!!!

S xx

Well done Ade on 75 days mate great acheivement. Think you have yourself a bit of a striker in Mr Kane. Carrys on like this and you will need to be fighting off Barca and Real.

Well done on hitting 75 days clean. Soon you'll reach your century. You are laying down very solid foundations for a massive gamble-free innings. Keep it going.

Thanks Juuuuuuuuuunnne, NT, Suzanne, Sandra, Gregg and Pelle for your supportive posts - much appreciated.

75 days completed and feeling quite content with myself. Not complacent, just content. Contentment for me has been very rare over the last decade or so. For some reason or another at certain times I just never really felt truly happy. I'm not quite sure how happy one has to be to feel truly happy, but I just felt inwardly a bit detached and awkward. Maybe I was depressed and I didn't know it, or maybe I was just a moody git who was never satisfied with his lot. A few years ago, a friend of mine suggested that I may be bi-polar. To be honest, I had to ask what bi-polar was, as I had never even heard about it! But it sowed a seed in my head, and I started to read up about it. I'm not really into self diagnosis and I also have a bit of an old fashioned "Just get on with it" attitude. So I never have discovered one way or the other why I sometimes feel like S***e, when I know that I should be feeling content. So at this present moment In time, with 75 days of good hard recovery under my belt. Some serious soul searching and a few laughs along the way, which has really helped me this week. I can really say that contentment has been found by yours truly.

Thanks to all that have made these first 75 days of recovery worthwhile. And thanks to all who have helped me since September 2008 when I first identified what a problem gambling had become to me.

Thanks for listening

Ade

Hi Ade

It's said many times on here but I REALLY could have written your post and i did self diagnose,

Like you I've had a long battle with gambling (well over 30 years) and like you i used to get the "feeling like whale sh-t days" and thought i was depressed, but thinking back I now realise that even on winning days it never altered my mood, but "feeling like whale sh-t days " coupled with a crashing, chasing loss, blimey Ade now I'm depressed, now I've got the tightness around my head, the want to sleep and never wake up, the sweating, loss of appetite, the feeling of total despair, this made me realise that it was the gambling that made me depressed, not depression making me gamble.

So in my case i know i have to take the good days with the bad days, because i don't want to make light the fact that some forum friends battle depression on a daily basis good days or bad.

summing up Ade i hope you've just got the whale sh-it blues too....but hey dont call me Ginger Freud after all it did take over 30 years to self diagnose.... keep winning by abstaining...onwards and upwards Ginger.

I had the same bi polar thoughts a few years back, convinced myself i was. I think addiction depression bi polar are all part of the same family. A coping mechanism we use to explain away our fear of failure our anxieties our dissatisfaction with our own lives. I was always disappointed in myself, always thought i could have achieved more, always wondering why whatever i had didnt seem to be enough to fill the void. It was comforting to have an addiction, something to blame my perceived failures on. That way it was never my fault. It was addictions

Thanks Gingernut1 and Dan for your supportive posts.

Another day added to my recovery and still feeling good.

Take a little time to read this story, it makes sense no matter who you are!!

A Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 beers story.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked his students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook it lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the gold balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous ‘yes’.
The professor then produced 2 beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space. The students laughed. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions - and if everything else was lost and they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else - the small stuff.’

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room left for the pebbles or golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit your grandparents. Take time to get medical check- ups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposals. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities ... The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and enquired what the beer represented...

The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked. The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a couple of beers with a friend.’

Ade

Keep strong all

Ade

Brilliant stuff, Ade.

Ade, yes that really is brilliant stuff, i had tears in my eyes before i got to the end, because when i was gambling and loosing heavily I became a misery at home, and not giving the time and attention to my beautiful family that they were giving to me.

Now I understand why you used so say "look after those golf balls"

A quality post Ade and something I'll always bear in mind, thanks my friend....onwards and upwards....Ginger.

A cracking story, one that I have seen a few times before, but one that doesn't dilute the meaning whatsoever. Look after the big stuff, and let the little things deal with themselves.

Glad to read you're doing well, and congratulations on passing that 75 day marker. I'm glad you have been able to find contentment...an addictive personality seems to go with things like bi-polar and depression in many cases, and gambling addiction never does anything but make those conditions worse.

All the best.

Ryan

Hi Ade,

Absolutely wonderful post my friend, really a lot to take away from it 🙂

Am very proud of you and seeing you marching on in your recovery is so wonderful sight for this soul 🙂 you're doing it my friend, you are getting your life back!!

You're so so worth it , never forget that 🙂

((((((Ade - Terry))))))) ...just had to lol

S xxxxxx

Hi Ade,

Lovely post, because it's so true, you have really turned another corner now, with your recovery, am proud to be walking along side with you,

Keep moving forwards my friend, and keep making those right choices.

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Pelle, Ginger, Ryan, Sandra and Suzanne for your kind supportive posts.

I love the 'Mayonnaise Jar and Two Beers' story so much, that must be the 5th time that i have re-posted it over the last few years. It has finally made me focus on life in general. My golf balls are the most important thing in my life. Simple.

77 days or 11 weeks, however I say it I feel a real sense of on-going achievement in getting to this pointin my recovery.

I re-read my diary last night, back to 26th November 2014. When this epiphany happened for me. It made me really appreciate what I have done and how I am able to give myself a great big pat on the back for making it to 11 weeks. That might sound big headed and egotistical, but the thing is.......for years I have been unable to function properly at times, and I have struggled to like myself as I have had self-worth issues.

Since 26th November I have cleared quite a few obstacles that would have normally had me relapsing left, right and centre.....

The initial stage of recovery (i.e: those first hours/days) are tough to get through for us all. I managed that. Then the Christmas period, which for me has always led to a betting frenzy, especially Boxing day, etc. It truly is a nightmare, but I made it through intact. Then there was New year, and a trip to watch Fulham V Wolves in the FA Cup. Historically for me Going to footbal matches = Betting frenzy. Not this time though. I negotiated this one well and breathed a private sigh of relief at the end of the day.

My trip to Ireland was another potential banana skin in mid-January, and one that I am proud that I came through unscathed despite the temptation that lurked in the back of my mind.....And finally, this last week I visited my cousin and we watched the Spurs V Woolwich f.C match in a pub which was funnily enough with in spitting distance of a bookies. My cousin told me about all the bets he had done for the game (just the same as I would have done in the past), but I did not want to bet and mess up my recovery. Believe me when I say I was close.....very close actually, to just doing a small bet. But I stayed strong and felt great for doing so.....

My team Spurs, have been involved in some big games on TV. Again I resisted the urge to fall back in to the old habits of a few bets here and there whilst watching a match on TV. I think at times I have actually surprised myself......because I have pretty much always gambled at a weekend for the last 15 years. Breaking that habit has left me with a great feeling of achievement.

My positivity in general has returned to give me such an uplift, that each day I do not gamble it makes me stronger. In the last 11 weeks I have read quite a few Autobiographies - Jimmy Greaves, Rod Stewart, Frank Skinner, Kevin Bridges, Ray Winstone, Jimmy Connors and Ronnie O'Sullivan. I have never read so much as I have lately. It has become my new time filler in my ongoing recovery.

My self-worth has returned to me on so many levels, and I am eternally thankful to all that have helped me through to this point. Long may it continue.

Keep strong all

Ade ;0)