Determined to keep a diary

Well done mate your diary almost like a story and it actually taught me a few things along the way, this is how it should be by learning from others we can all approach things differently one thing i have noticed on here as group their is unity and the truth is the people on here genuinely care and want to help others in the real world things are different 

@p6z38njbqm That’s good to know Fish🐟🍫😄.

I was just thinking….. you on 85 days and me on 81 days today!! You were the first person to write on my diary when I joined in April. We are on this journey together and I know we will keep going strong, supporting each other, aiming for a more peaceful and rewarding future and feeling much happier with life in general👌.

Have a lovely weekend and make every day as good as or better than the day before!🙏.

Take care.

Pink Lady🩷🍎.

Thanks both and yes pinky we are beating this together, one day at a time, and I fully expect us to beat that 100 mark and then cruise on to 200 and beyond. I will say that I have faith in this community that if I do slip, I will not be judged and I will be honest. That’s not going to happen though but just putting it out there!

85 days down. Early night as working next 2 days. Might jump in the chat room later. A few relatively new faces in there and it’s great to see them chatting and asking questions. Hope they are still going strong. Sad to see a few new posts of people in dire straits. Reminds me of where I was 85 days ago. Also makes me proud of where I am now though. Just a shame so many people have to do day 1. Day 85 is a much nicer place. Anyway, enough rambling. 

Stay strong 💪 

86 days done. 2 weeks til the big 100. Actually quite excited about that!

Not much to say tonight. Absolutely shattered and up at 05:30 again so off to sleep. 

Stay strong 💪 

87. Not much more to say. Hanging after my shift at work today. Taking my little bud for a walk tomorrow which is amazing. Night shift tomorrow. Only good thing about these long hours is I have no time to even consider gambling. Not that I do now anyway. I completely feel like a non gambler. Still keeping my wits about me though. 

Stay strong 💪 

Day 88. Stuck on night shifts tonight. 

Got to take the pooch for a walk in the woods today. Was great as he can be off the lead. He still stayed close to me and pretty much hugged me all the way to the woods in the car. Such a cute little guy. Clearly misses me. Got him for 2 days next week which will be awesome. Got some good walks planned so will be keeping active.

Got a work night out tomorrow night after I've recovered from sleeping off tonight's shift so hopefully get back to some meaningful posts after that. I've missed adding to my diary properly. Not had any gambling thoughts but it keeps me on track and focused.

Stay strong 😀 

Day 89 and 90.

Felt strange not posting yesterday. Had a lovely night with some friends from work. Made me feel like a normal person. I could afford to buy drinks. Wasn’t stressed about money. Makes me understand why I can’t go back to gambling. It’s so nice to feel like this. Never ever thought I could be like this.

One thing that did hit me though was how lonely I am. I’ve never really lived by myself. I enjoy my time alone, but I long for human attachments. I keep thinking about how I’ll tell my other half about my day, things that have happened etc and then I realise I don’t have another half! This does however make me realise what I’ve lost. Gambling has taken everything from me, it’s taken the thing I long for most. If that’s not inspiration to keep going I don’t know what is. Maybe one day I’ll have someone to share my days with. I hope anyone who reads this and considers going back to gambling understands that nothing can compare to the buzz you get from having someone to connect with. It’s the most important thing in my life and at the moment I don’t have it. Please don’t lose what you have for the chance of winning a new life. The life you have now is what you want. Don’t risk losing it for the buzz of gambling. It’s only going to end one way.

Bit of a feel sorry for myself post today. Apologies, but if I can get the message across to just one person that this is not how you want to end up, then it’s worth it. Finding ‘the one’ is hard. Losing ‘the one’ is much easier. Don’t risk it for nothing. 

Anyway, hopefully a much happier post tomorrow. 

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm Hi Fish🐟. It was lovely to read you enjoyed a night out with colleagues AND had spare money to do so!👏. You deserved it after all your hard work both in and out of work.

Loneliness is not a nice feeling but try to think about what’s ahead of you if you remain on your g.f path. You are still a young man, with plenty ahead of you. For now, I think the important thing is to concentrate on you and the changes/goals you want to make going forward. You may just meet someone when you least expect it and who knows what may come of that! It’s a bonus that you have a good job, one that keeps you busy and tires you out at the end of the day.  I know this is not the bee all and end all but at least it is a distraction to help get you through your days and tires you out. 

Remember, as gamblers/quitting gambling - patience is a virtue and -  “all good things come to those who wait”!

Take it easy Fish. The good days will soon come back🙏.

Your friend, Pink🩷🍎.

Hi mate huge congratulations on your 90 days victory, shows with abit of effort things can change for the better, the days will stack up life will improve has far as gambling is concerned, keep yourself occupied and avoid as much negativity as possible

90 days! Hell of a job, friend. The feeling of inferiority when you can't afford something in the circle of friends because you previously gambled that money away has haunted me since high school. It's beautiful that you're getting some of your life back. Continuing on your path, you'll be unlocking new dimensions of a gambling-free life. Just believe that the loneliness you feel now doesn't doom you. It is rather a negative consequence of gambling in the past, which will disappear if you continue to stay away from gambling.

God bless you, mate.

Thanks for the support. Love this community.

Day 91. Still going strong.

Looking at my post from yesterday I’ve realised I’m not lonely. I’m enjoying my solo life. I really miss my previous life, more than I can possibly type, but I’m enjoying discovering more about me. I am a strong person, I can beat this addiction, I can be a normal person. The only thing I truly miss is company. I love to share my life with someone. I love to look after someone, but for now, that person is me and I’m actually ok with that. I’m sure one day there will be another life to lead but for now this is the one for me. 

9 days to go til I reach 100 days gf. That’s something I never imagined doing. I really do feel like I’m a non gambler now. I still seek the support and help of reading everyone’s stories in here several times a day. It keeps me going, reminds me why I’m here, and reminds me where I could go back to. I never want that again. The futures bright and I want to keep it that way. To any new people who see this, please take this piece of advice. You can go 1 day or 100 days without gambling, but you can never let your guard down. Don’t think you’ve beat it. I’ve read too many stories of people being tempted back and I personally think that’s because people stop coming here as much. The reminders go away, and the brain says maybe I can just do one bet, then bam, you’re back here as a newbie again! That’s my opinion anyway.

Stay strong 💪 

@p6z38njbqm

Well done again Wierdfish

Supported my son through 9 years of harm. He is 17 months in recovery. 

You work hard everyday on it and always will have to have your triggers in mind.

A great part of Forum Community

Patsy

@ofb741hvqs 17 months is amazing results sometimes i feel like the illness is all in my head until past relapsed have shown me im keeping focused am on day 354 life is normal, i need to keep focused and not slack off like i have done in past,

92 days. Stuck on night shifts for the next 3 shifts so not expecting to update much, but i will. Keeps me on track.

Today was a good day. Got a new TV, new lamp, new chest of drawers and some awesome pictures of my dog for the walls. Place is starting to fell a little more like my home now. Get my little dog for 2 nights next week too. Super excited about that. 

Anyway, back to work. Stay strong everyone 👍 

@p6z38njbqm Lovely to see you treating yourself Fish and making your place more of a home.  I am sure that feels comforting for you🙏. You are working hard and you deserve to reward yourself.

Keep up the good work and enjoy that special time with your little dog - can’t believe I am saying this as I am petrified of them!🤣.

Take care.

Pink Lady🩷🍎.