Diary 1st entry, Repeatedly letting down everyone who has supported me.....one day ill lose everything

Thanks MM

Always great to see you posting on my page!

I am very level headed and i always have been......except for when gambling

Im a rational non risk taking person....except for gambling

I think if i wasnt a gambling addict id be watching every penny and making sure i wasnt shafted by companies for x y and z like insurance and all the rest

Wonder how that life would have been!!

ANyways here i am on day 9

No gambling today

I just played 5 hours of snooker with a friend...it was great craic, it passed the afternoon nicely and im back home preparing for a nice home cooked meal with the gf

I feel good, i really have very little money but the big balancing work money week starts here.

I could have done with spending £25 for lunch with the boss (had to pay cause he bought on monday) and i could do without having to go outt for dinner for a friends bday tom night which will shift another £25

However ill make it all work somehow

If i was gambling i would be in SUCH bad mood tonight

But im not, im happy and i want to be in good form cause its what my gf deserves

I aim to give her more of what she deserves this year

House

Ring

Holiday maybe

Its all possible

I earn £1450 a month....yet i never have ANYTHING to show for it

I really would like to buy something with my pay instead of gambling it

Ill have to give it away for the next two months but itll be worth it to bring in the summer months in April with a friends stag do and maybe a new golf club or two

Only if you dont gamble.....

Only if you dont...

Have a good night everyone

Have a lovely evening with your girlfriend. It seems like things are looking up for you. I hope you manage to get your finances back into order soon - if it were me, I would pay back the money you have stolen from your work ASAP. Put the debt on a credit card or something - you will feel better for it as you will have paid back your conscience if nothing else.

Hi Nlboy

Hope your well.

Just seen on another post that you have a DMP, who do you use for this?? Are they any good??

Our habits and earnings are very similar! Your becoming a good support network for me!

Hey Pelle

I had a really good time last night thanks! Unfortunately i have no avenue but to juggle the work money.

Its not too bad to juggle really cause all customer statements go out on the 1st of every month so as long as i have all customers up to date by the 1st im ok

Two customers who have given my £160 and £150 respectively has gone to payoing other bills

Tomorrow another customer is giving me £300 and i will be using that to balance the previous customer money

Then i will balance tomorrows £300 with another £300 ill get on the 1st from a different customer and that way itll all be on time cause by the 10th of next month ill have paid the £300 above off

Sounds complicated i know, and its wrong, its really wrong but once ive got to the 10th of next month ill have all work stuff balanced and i can get busy clearing my own debts

Online

Thanks for youre post, my DMP is with a company called MRA solutions. They have always been very helpful for me, maybe its worth giving them a call.

Im glad my posts are helpful, if theres anything else i can help with just ask!

Well thats day 9 out of the way gamble free

There was no problems today. I watched both football matches with my friends and Spurs getting an equiliser cheered me up no end

Watching football or any sports is no risk for me, i dont sports bet and it really doesnt interest me so i dont need to stake anything on sports to make it enjoyable.

I then went out for dinner which was absolutely horrible, shifted £20 that i didnt need to spend on something thats probably going to have me running to the toilet all night!

I really didnt think about gambling all day today but i did look forward to getting a spare moment to come on and post here.

I am enjoying being back and reading and posting.

Tomororws another gamble free day, thats how i see it!

Well thats nearly 10 days gamble free

I wont be gambling today, i just dont want to

I had a disappointing day due to the news i got from the company looking after my debt management plan (10.5k)

They said that the companies who have now bought the debt will only offer a 10% discount on the debt even though im offering a lump sum of between 3/4k

He said they might negociate in a month or so and are playing hardball but its disappointing because without clearing the DMP i will not be able to apply for a morgage

The news disappointed my gf as she knows are hopes of getting a morgage this year have taken a massive hit. So in turn i feel bad about that, even though that 10.5k was racked up long before we were together

I guess after news like that the me of 2 weeks ago probably would have gambled

But i can see things clearly and thats not the way to solve the problems.

My main focus right now is getting the finances in place in the next two months to get myself out of the current hole

Once that has happned i can refocus on the DMP and hopefullt negociating a deal

Really scary to think that none of this needed to happen and i could have a morgage and a credit card and all the nice things i wanted if i hadnt gambled for the last 12 years

But i guess theres no point in looking back

Thats what i keep telling my gf

But that doesnt make her any less disappointed

Hiya

Just offering some more support , notice ur also very supportive and wanted to thank u its people like u that make this site work so give urself a bit of praise

I also av a debt recovery plan which I av to say was one of the best decisions I av made as it allowed me to turn my life around , like u r finding it does av its downside as no one will touch u at the moment until the debt is cleared or 6 years av passed which wasn't pointed out to me at the beginning fully

It will get better and ur doin the right thing by not gambling and thats sometimes all we can do , stick with it the breaks will come ur way

Castle2

Hey Castle

Thanks for your comments, i appreciate the praise and support, i enjoy the site and its helping me day by day!

The DMP was great for freezing interest and stabilising things but i havent paid anywhere near enough into it over the years due to upping and lowering payments due to gambling binges so that hasnt helped

The 6 years after wont bother me too much because if i can get it settled my outgoings per month will only be £82 and thats for sports fees so its financially viable that i can apply for a morgage

However that can only happen if i can get a settlement, which i hope for my gfs sake more than mine that i do as she has her heart set on that house this year!

Ill try and stay gamble free to make that happen!

Thank you once again for your comment 🙂

Stay Strong Nlboy

I spoke to the guy from your debt management agency, however my debt was not enough, guess I am lucky in that way.

he asked who put me in touch and I said someone on a online support site.

His advice was spot on. He did not try to rip me off like many do!

One day at a time- with smaller goals and treats in place!

Yo Online

Yes i prob shoul dhave asked how much it was before referring you! lol

I got some slightly better news from this afternoon that one of the creditors has offered a larger discount and could be negociated further

The other still wont be budging for month or so but we shall see!

They are helpful, they arent doing it for nothing but they seem to have your best interests!

Day 11 today gamble free

Another winning day i guess, was far too busy to even think about gambling

More conversations with the gf about the DMP settlements, she was pretty cool about it after a long chat, eventually understanding through the disappointment that it is what it is and we just have to wait and see what happens

Rome wasnt built in a day

Although ive probably gambled what its worth in a day before

Out with a mate tonight to keep busy and then home to read the book which i got. Anything to keep my mind off gambling

Not that i have been thinking about it too much in the last few days

Thats a relief!

Well thats Day 12 negociated safely!

No real gambling urges today to be honest

I had most of my work done by 3 and a wee thought crept into my head about what i USED to do to pass the time when i finished up early but i quickly got busy and pushed it aside

Really looking forward to Feb 10th to get some debts paid off. Wont get them all done this month but just to get the PDL settled and a couple of others will feel good.

Feeling pretty positive at the minute

Amazing how much im enjoying the smaller things in life so much more like going to a mates for the footbal

Its something that i take for granted when gambling because its used as a measure to break up the gambling routine im in for a few hours

But when im not gambling its somehing to look forward to and enjoy

I need to rememebr this when urges grow at some stage because i often enjoy these things while im 'recovering' and then after a couple of months i take them for granted again and think i need to add some risk to my life

I dont want that to happen this time

HI Ryan (I think that is your name)

Thank you for posting on my will. I really needed that!

Your story is very similar to mine. Friends, Payday Loans, Gambling...Gambling.

Well done for making 12 days. I know how difficult that is!

Stay strong and keep going!

Gumble

Oh... I also watched the youtube short in your post of 16th January 2013. Thank you for that. I think the reality of CG life is a lot harsher than portrayed in the film, but I could relate in many ways. I also though it was very good (despite the bad acting) from a pure entertainment level.

Thanks again

G

Hey Gumble

Thanks for posting buddy, appreciate your comments!

The video is quite chilling, looking at how an outsider in say a bookies or amusements views desperate us!

And of course there is the comedy factor with a scouser being portrayed as that dodgy mate.....no stereotypes there!!! lol

Day 13 appears to have been safely negociated

I have been out with my boss all day drumming up new business, which has been rather fruitful with 3 new accounts

It was a fun day, lots of good banter and i have to say i wouldnt have appreciated it if i had been sitting there having to think about gambling losses from the night before....as was usually the case

It was nice to sit with a clear concience and enjoy the day

Tonight will be a quiet one with the gf wathcing all the shows we watch, looking forward to it!

Heres to 2 weeks tomororw......

Never thought id get here 2 weeks ago....

Hey NIb

Read through your diary. See you've been through the mill in your diary-journey. Really impressed that you've come back strong after your set backs - you appear to have strong resolve this time around.

From some of your comments, like me, you might be at risk of complacency at a later stage. Guess keeping in touch with this site regularly will help.

Your 7 days ahead of me. Lets keep that difference going through the year

Hey CardHue

Thanks for your post, ill try and keep 7 days ahead of you, but you make sure your always 7 days behind! 🙂

Well day 14 has come and gone

Today was a boring, dull day

Ive been generally in a bad mood all day as the golf course is going to be closed all weekend for the second weekend in a row

This puts me in a bad mood because my weekend becomes completely boring and meaningless and without my sport fix on a saturday it might as well be a weekday

Ive played sport every weekend all my life so when i dont get the chance at the weekend it puts me on a downer. That might be hard for people who dont play sport to understand but theres really nothing that fills the void

Saturday morning and afternoon is meant for sport and nothing else

I have had a lot of gambling urges today. I miss poker, i love playing it and i miss the challenge that it brings

But i also know the pitfalls that it brings hence why i have restrained myself from playing

Being in a bad mood also made me want to play more but ive been constantly reminding myself of whats at stake

Anyway maybe tomorrow will be entertaining.....i doubt it

However i will look forward to Murray v Djokovic on Sunday, if Murray wins he may just make this a great weekend after all!

Go on Muzza!