Diary 2

On this forum I have ultimate respect for people who have admitted they have gambled again after however amounts of days. That honesty is amazing and those people deserve lots of support not judgement. Could be me/you tomorrow - who knows?

My integrity has been challenged regarding what I do for a living and my approach to stopping gambling but in the bigger picture ANY day without a bet is a good day whatever your approach.

Any day without a bet is definately a " GOOD DAY " Phil and long may it continue :))

Right on brother !! ( sorry just listening to some " Soul music " ) LOL !

I started a thread elsewhere but I genuinely believe that borrowing money to pay debts isn't a good thing. Yep, I've been there and bought the T-shirt with loans with crazy APR but I MADE that decision and I have to pay it back.

OK, yes it can be easier to pay off a debt early with help from friends and family but if I had gone down that route I don't believe I would have taken on personal responsibility.

Many people did it including me (ie loans etc.) - but I never asked anyone to fight my battles with debt. I'm not obsessed with money but I feel it's my job to pay it back or should I ask my 70 year-old mum?

Horrendous couple of days.

A friend of mine (best man at my wedding) was a guarantor for a guy who he subsequently found out was incredively aggreisive, a massive user of a drug being with C and an uncaring, hardcore gambler.

So the guy didn't pay his rent for six months and my friend was taken to court and has a CCJ. He's been trying to get the money back legally and politely face to face but he's not a fighter (like me although I've had my moments).

The two brothers are threatening my friend with extreme violence and he is really shaking. He won't go into our local unless he knows people who will fight his corner are there. He's not a coward but not a violent man.

The staff in the pub don't seem to care but it is a very unfair situation for someone who was kind enough to be a guarentor.

It's a hard situation but I genuinely think now being a guarentor is a bad thing unless you know the person very, very well.

Best wishes, Phil.

I don't go to GA but have in the past been to another fellowship and basically all fellowships as far as I'm aware are based on the principles of AA.

I am totally respectful to people who find GA/AA/NA etc. helpful but I genuinely think that someone who wants to stop a destructive behaviour can do it one day at a time if they have support, resolve, honesty and common sense.

Here's the steps of GA I like/find beneficial:

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanagable (but only at the start of recovery would I accept the word "powerless").

Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.

Step 5 - Admitted to ourselves and another human being (like on this forum or in person) the exact nature of our wrongs.

Step 8 - Made a list of all persons (especially my wife) we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step 10 - We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

Best wishes, Phil.

I know from GA meetings that very few attendees have any belief in a higher power and feel uncomfortable with the spiritual approach. It seems wrong that agnostics cannot have a set of steps such as you mention to aid their recovery..... Good point Phil .

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I've taken on board your view and have edited my post out of respect for you and your recovery. Phil.

Deleted my light-hearted post as I'm sure someone would have got uppity with me.

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Respect your viewpoints Phil and am full of respect for your progress in recovery. I also admire the way you have supported and encouraged your GamCare friends, myself included.

I have sought clarity from my angels who are of the opinion that your quite a nice chap.....stephen

Thank you Stephen. I was a bit worried I had offended you yesterday. Do your angels have names? Best wishes, Phil.

Thanks to you also Phil . In answer to your query I don't have names for my angels , however I suspect they have had a few names for me over the years. Maybe it's all in my mind but I find it comforting to feel their presence around me as I struggle to give meaning to my life. I feel that as long as my motives are just than they will always be there for me. Maybe i'm deluded but there's no harm done by my delusion......stephen

I deleted my post earlier about Nicotine Anonymous because I didn't want to upset anyone but I think light-heartedly I'm going to post because I think the 12 steps of AA which are modified by every XAnonymous fellowship like GA or whatever need updating.

Step 1 - we admitted we were powerless over nicotine - that our lives had been become unmanageable.

Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power (sic) greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Sanity? Smoking is obviously addictive, a horrible thing to do around children, smelly and very bad for your health and others who are around you including "passive smokers". If you smoke - you are not insane!

There seems to be a fellowship for everything now and with some (slight) modification all based on the original 12 steps of AA.