Diary 2

Big Congratulation Phil and massive respect for your 600 Days Gamble Free.....stephen

Thank you Stephen. There have been some tough times since I stopped but it was and is the best decision I ever made.

Hi Phil :))

Sorry about being late to the party but many congratulations to you on your 600 day's of winning for real :))

Best wishes Phil and I'll talk to you soon .

Alan

Thank you Alan - you've always been supportive. Sometimes with tough love and constructive criticism but man, what help you have given me and other forum users.

I posted on the guru thread about the one day at a approach which is very important to me and many other forum users - we can interpret it in our way regardless of the fellowship brigade.

Also, which might sound a bit contradictory, days DO matter to me and other forum users - 7 days, 30 days, 365 days etc. A bit of time (and knowing how long it has been since you last gambled) helps you to self-reflect, chill out and make progress in your own way?

Am I proud (not egotistical) about what I've achieved? Yes and anyone who sets realistic goals and sticks with them (plus honesty, re-building relationships, re-building "yourself" and realising what drove you to gamble, snort, inject etc. and paying debts) should be as well.

Words I don't like include illness (obviously any form of addiction can make you feel ill), disease, uncurable, relapse etc. If those words are relevent to you and your recovery - no problem and good for you and best wishes in your recovery.

Best wishes, a recovering compulsive gambler called Phil.

Morning Phil and thank's for your comments :))

I alway's get a little narked when someone describes this addiction as an Illness as well , I feel the results of what gambling can do to us can show up as an illness wihin the body but that's really more about it being stressfull through the Lying, cheating and constantly juggling finances in order to continue with our chosen way of life as even our hardend body's can only take so much before breaking down ? .

To me an illness is due to something phisycally breaking down in the body , My mum had a stroke and my Dad passed away through Cancer and that's what I would describe as " illness " not something that I chose to do everyday by losing control ?.

Everyone's got and is entitled to an opinion and I imagine many feel it is indeed an illness but I guess for some it's easier to look to lay blame anywhere except at our own feet ?.

Have a good day mate :))

Thanks for your post above Alan - totally agree with your comments. Best wishes, Phil.

There is nothing wrong with being light-hearted in life - and I love a laugh - but in my view if you got into the state I did with gambling - it's no joke.

I understand the kind of gallows humour some people have - especially in the chat room but in my experience with other compulsive behaviours I have put myself through (and others perhaps) I realise that this is a very serious issue.

Did I want to continue the way I was going with all the self-deceit, lying, borrowing, pawning, stealing (not-criminally but morally)? No I didn't.

Fundamentally I wanted to stop feeling so awful and save my marriage/home/job/friendships/respect from friends/family and start having self-respect.

Many people including myself have had that buzz when we've first stopped but I never set myself unrealistic goals like "for the rest of my life".

We have a limited life span and surely making the most of those precious hours is more important than gambling or other behaviours?

Stopping anything destructive can be easy initially but sustained maintanance seems hard for many including me - hence ODAAT.

Best wishes, Phil.

One question on the disease thing?
So you both chose to become addicted then?

Morning Phil sorry to post on your diary but I'm assuming Dan ( dat@atime's ) commeng was aimed at me as well ? .

Morning Dan :)) .

Firstly I don't think I mentioned " Disease " on any post's but if I'm wrong I stand corrected ? .However if you wish to label Compulsive Gambling a disease then why not eh , what I said was that It's not an " illness " in the sense of the word you would use for somebody in hospital recovering or as was in my case my Dad having cancer or Mum having a stroke and I can assure you niether of them " Chose to have those ilnesses/ disease whatever you want to label it .

The way I look at gambling is that it's simply a " Habit " that got out of hand because of the whole reward scheme that the chemical's in your brain relaese and I'm not going to big it up by labeling it a disease /illness , if you enjoy or get pleasure from anything in life , drinking / smoking / drugs s*x and sausage roll's it will have the same effect .

A disease would in my way of looking at it be in line with " The plague " or " Ebola " and I can assure you that I didn't ctach either of those in the bookies either ? .

Maybe we have alot of different veiws on thing's and I have no problem with that as were all entitled to an opinion but what do you get from just sitting back " Picking holes " in other peoples post's when you don't agree with something , surely it would be more polite to be an active member of a forum offering support for those that are struggling or are actually getting something from this place ? .

Anyway I hope you have a good day and no doubt we'll speak again :))

Sorry Phil once again for highjacking your thread :((

Alan

Hopefully phil is cool with me jumping in also? I think when people describe it as an illness it’s more in the sense of being a mental one not the same as per say a physical illness which can be seen, ie cancer. A mental illness being like depression and such go unseen if you look at depression as an illness they have striking similarities to being a compulsive gambler maybe they go hand in hand? For reference I saw a video put out by chester beddingfields wife he was mentally unwell the video was 3 days prior to his death. He was happily playing with his children laughing joking around no sign of what was going on in his mind. Know obvious signs of illness just like you read from the fandf there was nothing to say he was the way he was. I’ll leave it there for now as break is over.

Congratulations also on 600 days phil

No problem Alan and Wentworth (and thank you for the compliment).

I think I've made my view clear but to reiterate - any kind of destruction behaviour can MAKE you feel ill (it certainly did with me) but I don't think it starts OFF as an illness which is why I agree wholeheartedly with Alan.

In terms of it BECOMING a mental health problem - yep I believe that's true.

I'm not even commenting on the word "disease" (yes...there are different definitions of the word) other than to say none of my friends "caught" compulsive gambling by being around me!

For some people stopping a destructive behaviour IS a matter of life or death and being in debt can be hugely stressful for people whatever the cause.

Dan posted elsewhere about "stop talking about money and debt" but unfortunately some of us got into quite a state financially and initially need to get that off our chests.

Although I agree with Dan's point to some extent, I think most will post about the state they are in financially (and sums lost on specific bets/rolls - whatever) until they make some sort of decision to tackle debts they accumulated through gambling and accept the money is never coming back so there's no point complaining about £5,000 on the 3.20 at Kempton etc.

There are solutions to tackling debt which give you peace of mind instead of burying your head in the sand and hope the letters and phone calls etc. will stop - they won't. Creditors and debt collectors are relentless but not completely unapproachable.

If it takes 30 years to clear your debts at a manageable and affordable monthly rate that might be an irritant but surely better than having some of those companies on your back because I know from experience they will not back away.

I tell you what Phil maybe it is a disease or virus after all ?

I seemed to resemble a zombie at times as I stumbled from bookie to bookie in search of the " Fobt's " and once inside it was full of people just like me :(( . Or it could have just been something in all those enticing "free Coffee's " I used to be handed upon arrival and I use the term "free " loosely ! .

Off to watch " The Walking dead " Now :))

Alan you never fail to make me smile ! You sir just keeps on hitting the nail on its head ! People like you helps us with our recovery ! Phil buddy ! You have come a long way with your recovery and still have the heart to help all the new Members here who are just starting the battle . I mean particularly in the chat room you've always been fair and inspiring !

I have a request for you day@time as I have never seen you positive here lately . I mean i know you have been gamble free for a long time . Perhaps you can give us advice / strategies on how to stay GF rather than cherry picking on other members diary . Maybe start a topic that would all help the new ones here or something like that instead of coming across a little too sharp 🙂

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