Diary 2

Hey Phil , " Have you been using that invisible ink again on the above post " ? :))

Hope your ok mate :))

Im going to explain why I deleted my post on my own diary this morning for my own self-reflection plus anyone else who is interested plus the bigger picture..

I am not a very confident person (despite achieving academically and professionally to some extent despite my dyslexia) which is improving but I KNOW I am not and never will have skin like a rhino like some forum users who drop bombs and then disappear with no explanation for their comments. I consider those people - bullies.

My posts about "disease", "illness" and debt were serious and not dismissive towards other's points of view. The post I deleted was about that and I deleted because I had no confidence that there would be anything helpful (obviously from some forum users) or constructive comments from people who should know better who act like the playground bully picking on the skinny kid with National Health glasses.

My attitude in the chat room, for example, is to read and respond or not respond if I don't think I have anything to offer. I don't tell people what to do but I do say there are alternatives that might suit people other than GA.

It's not about having a go at GA because I have ultimate respect for people who go to meetings, benefit from them BUT have respect for other alternative approaches to stopping any destructive behaviour.

Did I get on my knees this morning and pray to a higher power (God) for a bet-free day? No, I didn't.

What I did do was make a commitment in my heart and mind not to gamble today, worked, helped a friend get home from hospital after surgery as a day patient, had a pint and a bit of fun, listened to my wife who had a tough day and had one cigarette (Nicotine Anonymous here I come!!!) and am now watching the England game.

An opinion? Tomorrow. Long post! Best wishes, Phil.

I didn't actually see a post this morning Phil , just the blank page so have no idea what the content was .

That being said I can pretty much guess which way it would have gone ?

My opinion for what it's worth , just switch off let it lie and move on with your recovery my friend .

Some thing's will never change and nor will some people's attitude .

Have a good night mate and keep doing what works :))

Thank you Alan as always.

I thought it was a perfectly legitimate question in respect to what was posted. I neither implied whether i agreed with you both or not. As it happens i dont & neither do the vast majority of medical associations across the globe, but that is neither here nor there. I asked you if it isnt a disease/illness then were you choosing to lie, deceive to those around you on a daily basis ( which neither of you answered). If you did as your post suggests because its a choice then this would make you a sociopath ( also an illness by the way).
There seems to be some confusion between physical health & mental health. If youre going to deny addiction is a mental health issue then im afraid youre going to have to lump in, depression, anxiety, ocd, bi-polar & a thousand other mental health problems as being a choice too.
Crying bully is laughable, i simply asked a question.

Sars, sigh. Think you will find i have written more ways to combat addiction on this site in the last 3 years than almost all the other posters combined.
Again i find myself having to fend off personal insults rather than talk about the issues & people wonder why i post seldomly

Hi Phil, feels a bit like deja vu but I've found you a continual support since being on the forum, also it-s your diary so you can post what you want non? We're all travelling different roads but have the same destination take care S:)

I sometimes wonder why you post at all , if only to drop the bomb in amongst the crowd ? .

I'm not sure if you see it this way Dan but as I've always maintained your posts are thown into the mix every month or so with it seem's the sole intention of winding folk up who seem to be doing just fine '. I'm not even sure why or what you get from this practice ? does it give you a kick in some way that your missing from gamblng perhaps ? It's not an insult by the way just an observation , you do come across as a bully at times pushing the whole GA concept on people as if there's no other way forward when it comes to dealing with this addiction , you made the choice to follow that route and it's worked great for you and your to be applauded for your gamble free time that youv'e accumalated but it's not for everyone and you have no right to foister your opinions on people that choose to take a different route and to be honest your probably the ony one on here who attends GA that does , let people make up their own minds and if were all wrong then you can sit in your Ivory tower and have a good chuckle to yourself ! .

And to answer your question , I don't believe gambling addiction to be an illness nor a disease but I'm quite happy to say that the continued habit of gambling would lead to a feeling of being unwell with stress related conditions , I chose to gamble , I chose to borrow money for that purpose and yes I chose to lie to cover my failings , so I guess that leaves me to assume that I'm a sociopath then , which would apply to every man woman and child in this country at some point because who hasen't lied ? but you always do post in a way that make you " Dammed if you do and Dammed if you don't "

Your a clever man with with a far greater knowledge on your chosen suject than I could ever achieve and I bow to your greatness but please can we have enough of the silly mind games you play with people .

Sorry Phil for taking over your diary .

It's fine Alan and I again agree whole-heartedly with your post above. The problem I see with Dan is that he seems immune to criticism - if that's his idea of "recovery" - fine.

Dan - I think if you'd read my other posts properly you would have observed I said I didn't believe compulsive and destructive behaviour starts OFF as illness but undoubtedly LEADS to a person FEELING ill - whether physically OR mentally. I never said anything insulting in any of my recent posts about disease etc.

You cannot compare the use of drugs, alcohol or FOBTs to a genuine mental health condition such as OCD - no way and I say that with 100 per cent of the confidence I normally lack.

I've also made it clear here and in the chat room that I was a liar and sneaky s-hit on a daily basis - usually to get money to gamble. Do I live my life like that now? No.

Thank you Sharon for your post - much appreciated. Best wishes, Phil.

lol you're diagnosing people now as well Dan??!!!!

You're welcome Phil, keep doing what you're doing S:)

I've also made it clear that I believe in my case that I was addicted to distraction - not being happy in my own skin so seeking escapism from my thoughts and feelings.

-------------- That's a line in terms of drawing a line under recent stuff. I don't want to be moderated again but I will continue to express my opinions in a polite and open-minded way on my diary. Best wishes, Phil

I drew a line but wanted to make one final comment about recent posts on my diary because I think it is pertinent.

I'm shy but lucky enought to have a very interesting small circle of friends - electrician, teacher, retired, builder, skiver (!) and also a psychology professor etc. We all get on very well despite our different backgrounds and professions.

I'm interested in lots of different things - always have been curious about lots of things like psychology.

I've known Professor X for 10 years and besides his academic career he assesses people who have been described as psychopathic or sociopathic in prisons mostly to see if they are safe to be released and believe me without him breaching anonymity he had/has some scary experiences.

I asked him today: do you think P&S are illnesses? He paused and said that's a very interesting question but ultimately "no I don't".

I asked him IF he thought they were illnesses - are they treatable? He again took his time to answer and said: "Very rarely"

We then moved on to compulsive behaviour to do with anything (obviously from my point of view gambling) and we agreed that most people in the grips of something like gambling are liars, thieves, cheats but especially in HIS opinion are not P or S - because even when we are (well me anyway) in the grips of something destructive we still care to some extent - I know I did with shame, self-disgust etc.

Psychopaths and Sociopaths don't care. I believe that because my friend has been assessing both for 20+ years and is highly respected in his field.

Sorry Dan, unless you have the expertise of my friend - suggesting some or a lot of compulsive gamblers are Sociopathic if they don't agree with your approach is not something I agree with and very ill-thought.

Phil

Post edited (by Mixer 😉 )