Diary of a slots addict

Hi there , Welcome to the forum , My names Alan and I'm a compulsive gambler !

Well done for a start for realising you have a problem and doing something to make it better , I've never been into the slots as always prefered the bookies , well the machines in the bookies were my undoing but the feelings of being gutted and sick to the stomach are ones that I and most people on here can identify with .

I came on here just over 9 months ago after some pretty heavy losses and about 8k in debt and it had got to the point that I was thinking of ending it all , well after joining this site and getting some great help and advice from all the wonderfull people on it , I haven't had a bet since and am now enjoying life more than ever .

I don't know if your aware but there's a few things that you can do in order to help yourself straight away , you'll here mention on here of keeping your triangle broken , which is Time , Money . location , if you remove one then you can't bet , simple really ! You can dio this by self excluding from sites or installing blocking software on your laptop / tablet / phone , ther's afree one called K9 which you can download or others you can buy online such as gamblock ( I think ) , also if yiou deposit by card you could report your card lost and when the replacement arrives just scratch off the security number without writing it down , change your email address so you don'tget bombarded with offers of free bets trying to get you to gamble again , there's lots of things you can do but ultimately a lot will be down to you and willpower , you have to want not to bet more than you want to gamble . There's free councilling available through gamcare or GA if you want real life help , it's all about what suits you and what you feel comfortable with , I've always just managed with this place and it suit me just fine , your amongst likeminded people who know exactly how you feel and what your going through , so your never alone anymore !.

We gamble because of the buzz it gives , the money really doesn't matter to us anymore , it's like a drug and we just want our net fix however much it costs us and we can never win because we can never stop , enoiugh's never enough for us .

If you need more info on anything then either ask away on the forum or speak to gamcare who hav advisors who can help with debt management , or councilliing , or blocking software ?.

I wish you well for now and catching up with you a bit later , keep posting on your diary and welcome to recovery !

Alan

Thank you Alan. I feel stronger already just by using this site!

Day 1 (so far)

I was kindly told by Alan after my first post that you need 3 things to be able to gamble, time, money and location. Well I have all three right now as I am sitting on my iPad on my day off with my last £20 in my bank. It's hard right now as I think to myself, I could turn that £20 into a lot more.... I won't miss that £20. I will probably spend it on rubbish anyway. I love sitting wasting all my precious time playing slots. But that £20 could disappear in 5 minutes or I could get a good day out of it if I win a few hundred. Thing is even if I won £100 that to me is just playing money to keep gambling with, and unfortunately that could disappear in half an hour too. I try to think of all the money i have wasted on gambling and what I could have bought with it. I feel guilty as I have two young kids who could have benefited from that. New clothes? A holiday? Materialistic things yes but also they have missed out on my time. Time I should have been spending with them but I can't take myself away from my iPad.

So far day one and only ten past ten. Am going to do housework.

Morning, So if your ipad's sat there with no blocking software installed and it's tempting , what are you going to do to make today different than yesterday ? . Sometimes willpower won't be enough , when I made the decision to stop gambling the advice from people on here was to self exclude , so I went around all the local bookmakers in my area and later to the casino I used to visit and handed over a photograph to each one , filled in a form and barred myself from entering again , the first made me so embarrassed but by the time I walked out of the last one , I knew I'd started taking back control of my life and that gambling would no longer control me ! .

One simple thing will make all the difference , your choice , leave the door open or close it and lock it shut ?

Letting go of the losses and not chasing again is what you need to accept , once you do it makes it much easier to move on with a new gamble free life .

Best wishes and talk to you soon .

Morning and welcome to the diary section. There are lots of things you can do to tackle this addiction and Alan has already given you some good advice. I'm not so interested in the money side but more your comment "I love sitting wasting all my precious time playing slots"...why? Once you start to figure that out you'll begin to feel better. There are so many other things you could be doing with your day. If you really want to stop gambling then find something else to do with your time. Go for a walk, watch a film, meet up with a friend, dig the garden..whatever floats your boat. The money (as you already know) is only gambling tokens. If you win you'll just play for longer. Is that really how you want to spend your life? If you play with that £20, what's to stop you playing with the next lot of money you find in your account? Seize the day. Do something productive not destructive...you'll feel so much better for it.

LifeBegins x

Day 2. I didn't gamble yesterday. I can sometimes spend hundreds of pounds online. I baked all day keeping myself busy yesterday, I felt like gambling a few times. I also phoned up the bank and said it was lost so they are sending me a new one. When it arrives I will hand it into my mum to keep for me. I get paid cash in hand and it's easy to go and buy ukash but since I've excluded myself from nearly every site I know plus I feel ashamed when I ask for a ukash and also embarrassed even though they don't know about my addiction I still feel embarrassed.

Hi there just a quick tip when you new card comes get you mum to open and scratch of the last 3 numbers on the back so that way you can't use the card online. You can ask your mum to remember the number so you can still make non gambling purchases online.

KTF

Hi. ..like you I was addicted to online slots...been gamble free for 120 odd days now...and yes if I'm honest I do think about them now and then....do I miss them ?
hhhm...yes I suppose I do...what I don't miss is the lies...the robbing Peter to pay Paul...and the time wasted say at my laptop....like others have said...break that triangle....my best tho g is I've managed to block all gambling related sites via my bb provider....so even if I got the time and the money...and the dreaded urge....I simply can't play...it has given me fantastic peace of mind knowing that if an urge strikes....I can't rush of to play....take care...take it a day at a time....you can do it x

Hi again , just wanted to say a big well done on making some good decisions yesterday , you can do this and you will !!

All the best and have a great day !

Alan

Hi guys, would just like to say thanks for your comments and tips! Really does help.