Dilemma

Hello Russ,

It is on occasions like this that you realise the damage still runs deep. Also like you say, your immediate defensive thought reaction of what was an innocent situation.

I have read quite a bit of your diary and replys to others and you ARE doing so well Russ. All the mistrust from partners is par for the course my friend, I'm sure you will agree. In time, as you continue to reassure your wife by working your recovery things, I'm sure will change between you both.... and it may not take as long as you think 😉

Good to hear you have been enjoying some time in the sun. Stay strong adaat,

Jackie

Hi Russ,glad to read your holiday was good,......i have experienced countless situations like the one you've had with your wife,and who can blame them?.You know your not doing anything sneaky,the wives are just looking out for themselves though and we have to accept it with good grace!!!,it's a fine line to tread though because being ultra humble and apolagetic has the same effect,time is the healer Russ.

Seano.

Russ,

Glad to hear that the holiday went well and you got plenty of sunshine - especially welcome as you've now returned to the UK's monsoon season - lol.

Had similar situations to the one you mention on countless occasions. Like you, I knew that I was being completely open. However, in the past when gambling, we're not open - wives start to doubt you - and who can blame them.

Trust takes years to build up but only moments to break. You are doing superbly well though Russ and you will *** this. Keep it going mate and thanks for the support.

All the best

Hatch

Hi Russ

Thanks for the post on my diary, glad that you enjoyed your holiday and the sun.

Hope your kids enjoyed the park with you today, my cakes where nice, well the boys thought so anyway, lol!

Life ay, seeing our kids smiling and laughing is far more enjoyable than gambling, wished my thought process was like it is now 10 - 20 years ago.

As for trust, that is one of the hardest things to regain imho, but sure with all the hard work you are doing you will regain it in time!

Anyway dribbling over, take care, keep battling. ands

hey there Russ, and thank you for your continued support. In response to your previous post, your wife will trust you again, as I trust in you to prove to her that you are free from the evils of the gambling world. It may take time but she will trust you again in all ways. Do you share with her your posts on your diary with her and include her on your dedication to succeed for yourself and others???

Anyway your warmth and strength is addictive and I cant thank you enough for your help in helping me!!!!

Keep busy living!!!

Glad that you showed your wife jacs post....its a massive advantage having a partner on your side mate...im sure deep down she does know youve changed big time and does trust you...youve come a long way in such a short time mate...best wishes we can do this..;-)

Hi folks, thank you for the posts. A good number of reassuring messages. As winning post mentioned, I showed my wife the post from Jackie. There was a change in her mood/feeling towards me. I'm not sure why but it helped. I appreciate that it's a long road. I feel like my gambling is a long long way behind me, but it's actually not even been 6 months!!! That's nothing, I've been gambling for 16 odd years! When I'm three-five years down the round I will reflect and see where I am.

I fully appreciate I'm a very lucky (I don't like using the word lucky, but I will for this post!) man, I have a wife who has stuck by me. Others have had to cope on their own and done an unbelievable job of staying strong to get through their addiction. Good on them.

Enjoy each day folks and stay positive. Russ

hey russ, thank you for your wonderfully supportive posts, and there are certain people on this site who you can actually gleam from there writing how genuine and nice they must be in day to day life.

Congrats on 6 months and I am sure that you can turn to your wife in 5 years time and say.

" I have beaten this"

She should be proud of what you are currently achieving, and you will earn her trust again.

Have a super gamble free weekend mate!!

Keep busy living

Welcome back Russ!

All refreshed and as ever upbeat!! You've got alot going for you with you're close family and sure come across as a very genuine sort! All the tools you need to equal the 16years in the future gambling free!!

Carry on living the way it should be lived and every thing will no doubt to fall into place!

Have a superb weekend and enjoy the rain!!

Russ mate,

So glad that you showed the wife and the response was favourable - six months is good going - and the benefits are starting to shine through.

Keep it going mate.

All the best

Hatch

Thanks beezer, pauls and hatch for your posts. I've not posted for a while purely down to the fact that I haven't had a chance. We (wife, brothers and sisters in laws) organized a surprise 60th for my mother in law. She's lost her mother and father this year so we really wanted to give her a boost.

It's fair to say that nothing has changed on the gambling front. My relationship with my wife has really come on over the two weeks I have been off work. We clearly have some way to go yet in terms of my suspicious behaviour but things are looking up. Long may it continue. Russ

Russ,

Thanks for the post on my diary. I hope "The Old Hatchet" treated you well!!

It is right what you say - we do use the forum in many ways. I went to the Cioty with the missus - and while I'd nipped off on my own - felt a slight temptation. I thought about gambling BUT then thought about friends on the forum, having to post about a relapse and suddenly saw sense again. While it keeps working for us - we should all use it!

Glad to hear that things are going well for you at the moment Russ - you deserve it! Like we all say - one day at a time!!

All the best

Hatch

Hi Russ.

Thanks for the post mate.

I'm glad to see that your relationship with your wife has improved due to you stopping gambling. It is certainly hard for a relationship to flourish when one spouse is constantly lying and decieving the other. I'm sure your wife is seeing a change in you for the better.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone follows my present chosen path. There are lots of people on here who have lost everything through gambling. I'm not one of them though which is not to say i have not been reckless in the extreme. After all i ended up here didn't i!

I was gutted yesterday after the Everton match. How on earth we didn't win that game i will never know. I don't think i have seen us so dominant for years! Things will turn around soon i am sure.

Here is hoping that Landon Donovan is jetting in as we speak prior to tomorrow evening's deadline!

Keep strong pal.

So pleased to hear that your relationship with your wife is on the mend and that you are being honest with each other in this long and difficult road to recovery.

Interesting when you said that we all have another *** months/years to go before we say that gambling has gone for good.

In my case it will be another 30 years! That's very true!

October (54 days to go)

Russ,

Thank you for your reply to my diary, after reading through your diary, i can see that your really doing excellent fella, im happy to see you and your wife are sorting things out and you are staying focussed.

keep up the good work mate.