Dilemma

Thanks for the post Russ re the baby,hope your Nan is coping ok.......,the cycle of life hey!!!,have a good day.

Seano.

Thanks for all the messages of sympathy. Very very much appreciated.

I feel like I need to edit one of my own previous posts. I think I mentioned that around a week ago my wife asked me if I had been gambling, and I said no.....and it appeared she believed me instantly. Well after last night I'm not sure that was the case.

She asked me again...'if you were gambling, would you tell me'. I said 'of course.....but that situation will not happen as I won't be gambling again'. I then asked her if she had been reading my diary (it would show my commitment). She stated that she has not been able to log on (I need to show her how it works!!) and that I could just write any old lies on here. I firmly reputed that (I have always been totally honest on here).

Anyway, it turns out that she's suspicious of me when I'm using the computer. The crazy thing is, that I'm usually on this site! Anyway, we didn't argue like in the past....it was more a discussion. She wants me to be more open about my thoughts...what I'm doing on here...what I do when I'm out on the road with my job.

Is the trust back like I thought in a previous post. No is the answer.....but I'M a work in progress!

As for posting on here. Brian raised this point in his diary. Maybe I should post and read less. Maybe I should move on with my life totally free of any gambling thoughts, whether they be real ones or from reading on this site. Will the demon come back after 6 months? The answer is I don't know. It's like handing over your comfort blanket. All I do know is that I love my wife and family...they mean everything to me. Am I happy with life as it stands...yes. Russ

Russ,

Your last post is unreal, because I got 'the look' last night for the exact same reason. I had just finished typing my posts when my wife came home from her mothers house. She asked me what I was doing. I said I was just typing some stuff on the diaries. I felt guilty:

a) That perhaps she thought I was covering something up.

b) That I was spending too much time on these diaries.

c) That perhaps she thinks my recovery is more difficult than it is(at the moment), thus the reason for the crutch on these boards.

It is great that the trust is building and that you can honestly answer that you have not been gambling. The most important thing is what works for you and to keep doing it for as long as it takes.

I'm coming around to a way of thinking that I need to be more selective about which diaries that I read on this forum. It's gas though... it depends on my mood. The 'sad' stories give me a kick in the ar se which I need every now and then, but when I scan them constantly, then bring me down a little. A tough balancing act and I don't know which way to go.

Let me know how you decide to play it.... I'll probably copy you 🙂 as you are a rock of sense.

Brian

Hi Russ

Thought provoking last post mate.

I have wondered how I'm going to "wean" myself off this site in due course. I cannot spend every free moment I have reading and posting here, but I feel that it has been so helpful that I don't want to let the hold go yet. Question is, when can I let go? I suppose you are the same but further along the line than me. Anyway, I am sure that you will make the right decision.

Keep it up and good luck in improving relations with your wife.

Warm regards

T+G

Hi Russ,i have read your post on Brians diary,i think your strategy is spot on mate,and with the job you have i'm sure you will find the time to keep in touch on here:),.....the most important thing for you is re-building that trust with your wife,the last thing any of us on here need to do is create suspicion,you may have the odd "urge" to post when your at home,even then though that is something you can talk to your wife about:),should the need arise.

Seano.

Hey Russ

really m8 you cant blame your wife for having doubts.We compulsive gamblers are experts in lying.This time you are telling the truth.But look what happened m8 you sat down and talked things through.No arguements .Thats progress my friend.You are lucky kid.Your wife wants to believe in you and she is coming around to the idea that you wont ever gamble again.I think its a great idea that she reads your diary.That will surley convince here how serious you are.All the best Jeff.

PS please wish your nan well from me.

Russ...seems you got caught oot ??? by a posting frenzy !!!...you do what's best for you mate. ....I would say stick to what's working for you and post here and there when it suits you mate. .I fully understand your position, though whatever you decide you've been a superb addition to these pages. .best wishes...we can do this 😉

Hi Russ

Just dropped in to say thanks for your support on my diary, appreciate it, thanks mate..

Hope your weekends ticking along nicely, keep up the good work and have a great week ahead.

All the best

Hi Russ

Thanks so much for the support you gave me on my diary the other day. Nice to return to some positive comments.

I hope that your life is going well and that you are still going strong. Hope you still pop in here every now and then like I plan to do.

Keep well

T+G

Hi russ

Thank you so much for your continued support on my diary. Your kind words and wisdom are very much appreciated. I know i can do this because of people like you on here.

Something good will come of this.

Kyle

Thanks to all the posts I have received. I've not posted much over the last few days. I'm going through one of those stages where I've not got a great deal to say. What I can say is that the longer you go without gambling the easier it becomes. I'm in Manchester today and there are countless bookies. I have no urge whatsoever to go in.

Our little one has been waking up at 5.00am.....this is extremely painful.....having said this, the pain will be gone on Thursday.....the ashes will be on!! Russ

Russ,

good to hear from you.

It's a good sign that you are not feeling the urge to post that often and also no urges to gamble. Keeping in touch will keep it all real for you.

Regarding the ashes. I've never understood the game of cricket. I think I understand the rules but a number of things irk me about that game; everything is called a wicket; can take 5 days for a game and sometimes after 3 days, you know its going to be a draw; there's often little incentive to whack the ball as far as you can. There's loads more, but I better stop before I estrange myself from most of the gamcare community. 🙂

Keep up the good work.

Brian

Im with Brian on that one....i don't mind the 20/20 or odi s though...far more exciting though I will be taking an interest in the ashes as its a sporting legend...not much to post ??, just keep looking after no.1 mate,we can do this 🙂

Hi Russ, how you doing mate?

Hope things are going well for you since the passing of your grandfather and the 'discussion' with the wife.

Thanks for your post, I can still remember your original post where you virtually gave me a kicking lol

You may of seen changes but Im still that person, I still have the anger/selfish issues, I just deal with it differentely.

Your posts just highlight that everyone will have a different point of view on me gambling a fortune of other peoples money. 98% will thinking I'm a thief 1% might have sympathy, 1% might think selfish fruitloop.

Your post helped me at the time process that people will always have their opinion on my case but as long as I am at peace as to what happened I can look to move on and not try and justify it everytime.

Thanks Russ, we are all in this together and we all

want the same goal.

Smokes out

No snow here I'm pleased to say. I love the white stuff but I'm also keen for a game of golf tomorrow! No issues at all in regards gambling. I've taken a real back seat on the diaries recently, I know the importance of posting. I like t&g's approach of setting a date later in the week. This keeps focus and stops you being too dependent on the site. We sold a cabinet this week and I have invested the proceeds in a GPS watch. The idea is to train for the Brighton half marathon in Feb. I appreciate that I've got a long way to go to be at the same level as GT and SA, but I've no choice......I can't have Curly being less fat than me! The end goal is to run for a local charity in one of the main marathons. I need a place in the ballot for this, so I will have to wait another year.

Keeping reading and posting everybody.....the 'thought medicine' will help you enjoy the weekend gamble free!

Russ