Dilemma

Smiled to myself with your last post.

It's often that you get these moments of clarity at conferences and the likes. If only we could bottle those thoughts to re-use at a later date.

Lifes challenges and the chasing our tails often means we forget those thoughts and ideas. Enjoy the moment. In my experience, practice what you posted as quickly as you can, then you are more likely to remember it.

Good strength to you Russ.

Brian

In my line of work, listening to others is particularly important to do but easy to forget especially when times are busy.

Thanks for reminding me!

GT

Thanks again for the posts. I drove from Manchester to Edinburgh this morning......I didn't appreciate how bad it is here! The snow is unbelievable.....I drove through a village called Biggar on the A702 and the snow was deeper than any ski resort I have been to. The temperature reached a low of -13 at 1pm!! I really feel for the homeless at times like this. I'm sure that they all have a different story as to how they ended up on the street. I'm sure that some will be gambling related. Not a nice place to be....don't let it be you. Take action now and overcome this horrible addiction. Russ

biggar is in among the pentland *** russ and has a decent chip shop lol...used it a few times myself.....funny you mention biggar cause at the end of that road just before edinburgh is an artificial ski slope of all things lol....im originally from a wee village near penicuik,a few good golf courses in this area but also a few attached to the *** itself....small world mate....hope you enjoy your stay in the capital,best wishes we can do this 😉

Hi russ m8t..

I have read through my diary thats why I have posted to some important guys tonight so hope you are ok?

Take care.

Dervkidd

Hi Russ,

Great to see that you are going strong mate and thanks for the post on my diary.

You may have thought that you were getting a bit philisophical in a recent post, but I totally agree with your thoughts. We do spend too much time thinking of ourselves and not enough spent listening to others. On a lighter note, 90 is now my aim for next year. Knocking 10 strokes off every year will mean I could be World No1 by 2014. More chance of England winning a world cup bid I reckon lol.

Stay Strong

Steve

Hi Russ

Hope that you are doing well and having a good weekend. Weather may be good enough for a round of golf today eh? Although I presume your track is a mudbath at the moment?

Keep it up

T+G

Hi Russ

Just been catching up with a few diaries and its great to read that things are going ok with you..

Keep up the good work mate and enjoy the rest of your weekend

Thanks also for your posts on my diary, appreciate it ..Thank-you.

All the best

Hi Russ,

Just been browsing through your diary and think you've done a fantastic job for yourself and others.

Just by chance I caught your post where you had a big barny with your wife over trust and using the mouse etc. Jac commented after that but so much of it rang true to me. If I may I'd just like to post a quick personal story in the hope it might help others.

I think I was something like 14 months clear of gambling when I was coming home through Gatwick to Cyprus after 9 weeks in the Algerian desert. Life felt pretty good. I'd cracked the gambling, money was coming in, debts were reducing, I was heading home for 4 weeks in sunny Cyprus.

Plenty of time to kill in Gatwick and cash in my pocket and credit on my card. Passed a REALLY expensive jewelers and was just caught by a massive urge to buy my wife something special to say thanks for sticking by my through all this. Seriously lashed out on a stunning gold bracelet and earrings and came away feeling like the Ds B's.

Walked into the house, big hugs and couldn't wait to give it to her (the gifts guys..come on settle down at the back!!). POW !!!! Her eyes clouded over and a red mist rolled down from the *** behind. One massive explosion and I was picking my jaw up in surprise. w*f x 10 !!!

Why? (maybe you ask). Because that was me right back in the same mentality as when I was gambling. Arrogantly saying this is MY money and I'll spend it how I want, when I want. It also threw her back to all the other times I'd surprised her with gifts (which at the time she loved) but which later she found out that many were related to large gambling wins on the internet casino being deposited into our account. It was what we called "Emotional Credits" in the book and probably something we've all done while gambling...bought something special after a good win to make ourselves feel good (and arrogantly thinking our partners will feel good) and buy our-self some love for once.

I learned from this experience big time. Next time I wanted to do something similar I phoned my wife up and asked if I could surprise her, gave her an estimation of the costs, and before you knew it we were in the very front row central seats of an Enrique concert at Wembley.Just a brilliant brilliant night, still a surprise as she had no idea,but none of the grief before.

Thanks Russ and hope you didn't mind me sharing this on your diary.

Have a great Sunday

Deeds

Thank you again for the posts. Deeds, I have no problem whatsoever using my diary to post a very relevant story. I wanted to put in a post today because I had a really vivid dream last night. It was one of those dreams where you wake up and then go back to sleep (that's usually why you remember them so well). In the dream I was in some sort of arcade/pub/services. I had a pocket full of change (around 10 pounds worth). There were people watching me play one of those 500 jackpot machines. Whilst I was playing the machine it suddenly dawned on me that I had just 'crossed the line' back into the world of gambling. I was upset with myself and I contemplated whether I would let you guys know. Just as I had run out of change, I was considering changing up a note in the change machine ( a binge was about to happen), the two men behind me were eager to jump on to 'my' machine. Suddenly I found another 1 pound in my pocket and proceeded to put it in the machine. Guess what? I hit the jackpot....which turns out to be 700 pounds rather than the 500 maximum. Also, rather than it paying me in pound coins, I get paid in a big wad of notes. I then wake up. I have to say that despite the win in my dreams I was so pleased when I realised is was only a dream. The thought of me playing that machine and then lying to all of you + my family etc made me feel sick. My recovery is still intact and I'm determined to keep it that way, despite the evil trying to hijack my subconscious mind! Russ

Good afternoon, just to let you know that I have started a new thread on the overcoming gambling page.

Sometimes I think we can be a bit down on ourselves. I wanted to let the newer members know what's waiting for them if they can give up this evil addiction.

Therefore, the thread is all about positive feelings/emotions/stories that you may have had since you became clean. Hopefully these comments/stories will inspire people to give up.

Hi Russ.

Thanks for the post on my diary.

I've not read your post on the overcoming problem gambling section but i will be heading straight there after this short message! I need a bit of positivity right now!

My diet has really taken off this week mate. It's amazing what being so ill that you cannot eat for a day and a half can do for you!

Keep up the great work on your own recovery and supporting others with theirs.

Hello Russ

As always, very much appreciated support on my diary top man. Superb you're still going strong with yourself and to many many others.

Am sure you hold a good meeting, short, no messing and to the point!

Will follow Curly's path and read your posting on OPG......

gOOD LUCK Marrah

Good on ye starting that thread.

You are right, It's so easy to be downbeat all the time and perhaps we are all guilty of not commenting on the positives enough.

We will have to learn to live with this addiction for the rest of our lives, and that's OK. It can be done, it will be done. Being through what we have, makes us appreciate things in life even more.

Perhaps all people with power in the world should be recovering compulsive gamblers... that would quickly ensure that those bookies and FOBTs get closed down... We could run the country on a real shoestring... better stop, I'm rambling way off the point on your diary.

Best of strength to you and the family.

Brian

Just been reading your diary Russ - very inspirational indeed.

Keep strong and thanks for showing us the benefits of regular posting.

Dave