A really good start to the year, already making positive steps to where I want to go which is really good, never got the office but the new thought processes of just having to keep going and not get down hearted about knock backs, and had a meeting with someone to do a project, which is a very positive start. When I get ideas I note them down all the time and I feel something in the air has changed. I’m working out my Gambling Mind and it’s really not liking it, it stays there and it doesn’t like you working out its moves, it came back for me three weeks ago, I had let it reform like a regenerating flatworm as until December I had regularly chopped at it making it unable to reform, but in a really strange way I’m glad it had another battle with me as it showed me too much this time and I know how it got in, so hopefully the last loss was my biggest win.
My two favourite quotes that I’ve read this week.
If you can wake up and do something you truly enjoy then you have already won.
We were all humans until, race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us, and wealth classified us.
Have a good day.
Nice quotes Smashed. I'm so glad that you're on top of things and looking forward to better times ahead.
Hello Smashed. Many thanks for posting on my diary.
Great to see you are making a positive start to 2018. This can be the year we turn it all around. You have plenty of good things to focus your mind on and your imagination gives you wings.
Inspired by your daughters zest for life you are improving your health and well-being. A dry january and walking the dog are definitely steps in the right direction. Changemylife is also having a dry january so pleased I don't have any investments with alcohol producers.
Enjoyed listening to the song by Odyssey which you recommended to Sharon a couple of weeks ago. An odyssey is what we are on now, an epic journey (to reclaim our lives). The message of the song also rings true - the things in life that we love and desire are the things that we will be drawn to.
Take care and keep going forward...stephen
Day 25
A flashback of how I used to post (day counts) feeling like a peacock as I looked back, and could see Gambling was becoming more and more of a distant vision, my thoughts have no inclusions of gambling at all. January is a super tight month just beans on toast money left in the jar, a time when gambling would offer you some quick free cash but I want to never gamble again and know I can. The rest of life is OK i’m practising my editing, keep feeding this old mind with info constantly, and I got a week off after next Friday so hoping to get a lot done then. Stay GF everyone.
I like the way Jordan Peterson explains Gambling in the first four minutes of this video.
Hi Smashed, great to see thise days ticking over and glad you are looking forward to a well deserved week off. Indeed January seems so long!! Take csre S:)
Day 30. Should be day 157 but was tripped up mid December but that was definately the final nail in the coffin, the last straw, the last chance saloon etc etc. Some good positive vibes running about the recovery diaries which is really encouraging to see, following proper paths and goals and not destructive dead end gambling paths. I have accepted the losses, which I just couldn’t back in the early days of fighting this, I have accepted the relapse, I know how it got in and in a way I’m glad it did because that amount was nothing like the initial losses anyway. And it was like the final chapter in a book or at the end of a clever film when it all comes together in a few minutes right at the end and then your brain puts it all together. Using your time wisely and being proud of what you do is the key I’m forging now, and setting a date for leaving the 9-5 has put good pressure in my mind, as by doing nothing I will stay trapped in the web, it’s not easy to get out but nothing that’s worthwhile is ever easy. And by putting in the effort every day, transformation will happen, you will find the Turning Point.
Todays Music Choice is Archie Whitewater - Cross Country
Congratulations Smashed, 30 days without a bet is excellent. Good to see you are positive and determined.
Enjoyed the musical link "Cross Country by Archie Whitewater." I than stumbled upon "Cross The Country by Migos" which is an altogether different sound. Not everyone's cup of tea but a catchy tune nevertheless.
Take care my friend. This is the chance of a lifetime so let's give it our best shot...stephen
Hi Smashed. Well done on cracking the another month gf, and now you know the score. It's up to you to force the change and take advantage of opportunities that come your way.
Just a quick check in, all is good no thoughts of gambling and striving on towards the new visions. Had a good week off, started off a bit rough a few knock backs and maybe the whats the point thoughts tried to creep in, stay in lane. But being positive and just seeing your end visions is all I want too see in my thoughts. Hope everyone else is good and staying on the right paths.
Hi Smashed
Great to hear you are doing well and remain positive. We'll done on remaining gf, keep up the excellent work.
46 and Out
Hi Smashed. Glad to see you are keeping the gambling out of your life and looking ahead with optimism. It's a tough ride. That's why we need to take it one day at a time. But we can change, and we will, because there's a better life out there, waiting for us. Thanks for your input on my diary. Muchas grassias.
Evening Diary
Day 45
February begins and glad that January has gone, thats a long month to get through although saying that with everything paid it looks like starting the month with zippo, er not looks like, so am juggling from day one, but thats for now, up’s and downs and my own actions put me here so it’s up to me to rectify it, a lot of wolves are at the door howling for their slice, it’s life money in and money out. A lot of us wish we were the Grand National £1 E/W - 100-1 once a year punter getting excited by a horse race, the £1 in a machine person who would do that just win or lose, buy a scratch card with your meal deal. No we stay in the bookies and bet on horses, dogs, horses in carts, cartoon race cars, roulette, slots anything, put pound after pound in machines waiting for the top to go red, a meal deal with five or six scratch cards. Not satisfied with turning £10 into £20, then £20 to £50 the cycle never ends. I still say why to myself now and again but I know saying that does not change anything. If your addicted to Gambling the only path your on is self destruction and getting off the path is very hard as its laden with honey traps to keep you wanting more, but keeping off it there is so much more choice. Take it easy everyone.
Morning Diary
A reality check weekend where you have to deal with the juggling around of funds, Peter to pay Paul scenarios. The Loans you know when they come out but had to deal with Credit Cards and that three letter word APR, this was something that I had to address, I was doing some sums on the 24.9% APR credit card I had maxed out at three thousand, the minimum payment was 2.5%, around £70 and worked out that the total time to pay that back was NEVER you will never pay it back by just paying the minimum, now these other companies that offer Credit Cards to people that can’t get standard Credit Cards the APR rockets to astronomical proportions, even seen a 79.9% card, creating the trap of never ending debt. I was like an ostrich when it came to credit cards but realised I have to sort this, so a lot of pacing up and down on the telephone a few companies and eventually sorted a 20 month interest free Credit Card and got it all transferred over to one card and will get it gone. So there it is another tale of what and where Gambling will leave you, another harsh reminder of where it will put you, I read in the paper that a woman just a stones throw from here jumped from a tower block, leaving behind three children because of debt. So what am I trying to say, well if any of you have credit card debt and like me was just paying the minimum, you need to sort it as it won’t go away and it will never let you go.
On the upside Day 49.
Never going Back.
Morning smashed,
Just read the two posts above in your diary.
I identify 100% with them.
Many congratulations on being gf and many back slaps and high fives for that insight you shared above. I'm in a similar boat, going to be a tough Feb but I can climb out by deferring, juggling and minimum payments.
Wolves are at my door too, but I gave them the address lol, so to speak.
All the best,
Congrats on 49 days
Wilsy
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
