Don't Turn Around

Hi Smashed thanks for your post of support and well done on your gamble free days, it really is an achievement to go so long without a bet and I really do hope you continue to beat this.

Wilsy

Thank you for posting on my diary smashed.

It is great to see you so positive and forging ahead with your recovery. You have a lot of courage.

There are some really sad stories on the diaries so it's heartwarming when friends like yourself are winning their battles. Take care...stephen

Thanks everyone, yesterday felt like stamping on gamblings fingers as it reached out to you to pull it back up, or throwing water on the wicked witch, signing up to Gamstop felt like my main vice online gambling was cut the root was eradicated, my address, my email my phone number blocked from gambling online, feels like such a massive weight lifted, I know addiction will try again but it feels good to have blocked that major motorway. Anyone who has had a problem online gambling simply has to sign up, no excuses, that is if they really want to stop, finally although small the resistance is fighting back we've waited and waited and it feels good to have it.

Day 136. As an experiment I tried to log into old accounts and open new ones and it felt like the biggest win ever to see Account Blocked, and failure to register, proof that Gamstop is working, my massive losses all came online and yes I still have to pay them back but I can get there and it feels really good, I know gambling might try its hand elsewhere, and will be ready as it feels like a massive victory and will have my head up striving towards Christmas and the one year gamble free. I know debt free is a long way off but however small I can see just a small ray of light ahead. No one on here who has ever had a problem with online gambling and really wants to stop must sign up to Gamstop,ie Rule number ONE.

Login error - Account suspended. If you registered with a national online self exclusion scheme please find FAQs. It's a beautiful thing Access Denied. 🙂

Day 147. Things move in the right directiion when your thoughts of gambling diminish, thanks to Gamstop I cant even if I have strong urges log in anywhere online. I started my stopping journey last August and with a relapse at Xmas and gone through some mad journeys since then fighting the Gambling Mind. I started in August 2017 after a mad binge of drink and crazy high stakes gambling culmintating in me throwing my laptop against a wall and stamping on it, hence where the name smashed came from, to today getting myself a new laptop to work and use it free from online casinos, I still have a long way to be debt free, I never want to ever travel down those paths again, good to see people turning thier back on what is an evil addiction that will totally ruin you in so many ways. Thanks for all the support over the last nine months.

Day 162. Feel that I am distancing myself further away from urges, my mind realises I cant gamble online due to gamblock and even if I totally reinvented myself I still have gamban as further block, anyone who truly needs and wants to stop should have these in place as any excuse to not having them is shooting yourself in the foot, leaving the door ajar. Dealing with debt is not nice but you have to face it, I still have years to go but do everything you can to get APR down hopefully to 0% when I was talking to them I was pacing up a down dry throat like I was a criminal, a debt criminal, even 18.9% is mad interest on a 3k debt. When i get to the other side of this mess I never want to be in debt again the feelings of low self esteem and worthlessness over money which I gambled chasing something I thought I knew how to play but was just another fool who joined the assembley line.

Have not posted for a month, not had much to say, still fighting the gambling demons as they hate being blocked from online actions, and try and convince me to find other routes, “Whats a tenner on the football or a horse etc” go in that bookies and do it its only a tenner. But am ignoring them and only 7 days to 200 days away from it. Its difficult fighting the mind it’s so powerful and like chess you always have to play the right move, look before you leap etc, and finding that balance is always the tricky decision, and being comfortable in your own skin is hard to find.

Great to see you speeding towards 200 days!!! Aah the voices 'a tenner won't hurt' except for me a tenner turned into X20 tenners and the rest. I know I can't go there ever agin as I can relive those feelings. Look forward to your 200th day, take care S 🙂

There it is 200 days and the whole of 2018 gamble free, not easy but well worth it, a year ago i was plagued by gambling, totally lost and infested by it believing that the next massive win was mine, this is a better summer. Making plans and trying every day to find the way. Thank you to everyone on Gamcare who has given me the inspiration to keep going.

Nice one smashed. A good milsetone and a GF calendar year to date, all very positive. Glad you are feeling better about things. Have a good weekend!

All the best.

Congratulations on your 200 days gamble free mate. You must be feeling much better about yourself and your life and you really do deserve that. You should be very proud of yourself. Keep up the great work and let's both stay gamble free.

46 and Out

Whoop! ! So good to see 200 days, look forward to your positive posts, happy weekend my friend S x

One year has passed since I said to myself youve lost, not an easy confession to make but i really had hit the bottom of the barrell. Im dealing with what i have too, even by selling things that i held dear, rare records, video games, consoles everything to just rid the crazy gambling debts from last year, gone er no, dented er yes. It's been a difficult yet rewarding year of recovery and totrure from the gambling mind. A year ago I thought there was no escape path, but there is and luckily throughout the path I have been helped along the way and aided with magic spells like gamcare, gamstop and gamban, I dont post as much as I should but like a lot of us when we rack up the time we resist urges and keep moving with positive thoughts, as usual thanks to everyone on here who has shown me there is another chapter, you know who you are. Thank You.

Into double figures and the countdown to a year free from something that hounded me daily, urges greatly diminished as I have no possible way of gambling online, and if the barriers were not in place it would of probably found a way through, the quick small deposit process which can lead to financial and mental carnage. Still in the same dead end job which I penciled in as leaving in August, but have another plan in place for March 2019 which I am determined I will achieve, other than that it's the keep keeping on, and staying focused state of mind.