Don't Turn Around

Hi Smashed, Xenedra, Mixer and others

Thanks for sharing your views on this thread. If anyone has any ideas for new services which GamCare could offer we'd love to hear them - post them in the Feedback section or email forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk.

Regarding the lack of IM in the chat room - we took a deliberate decision not to allow that as we want to keep discussions within the main group rather than have people break off into private unmoderated discussions. However we do facilitate forum and chat users to connect by email as well.

Many thanks for all the feedback.

Deirdre

Forum Admin

Been angry for the past few days, I know why. I want my money back. I'm looking at it like 1 week of every 4 I work is for free to pay back my stupidity. On Friday my daughter smashed her phone by accident and anyone who has a teenager knows that them being without a phone is well just not good. I cant get it fixed till Friday and the reason is I've ran out of cash, I do blame myself, but this is why recovery is hard. As your mind will say we can easy get that back, were already in the sch it so lets keep going. It's hard today 44 days in. Annoyed that I should have but have not because I wasted it, still going through this internally and today is one of those days where the dirty gambling secret is showing itself.

Smashed - You have 44 days behind you which is a real show of determination.

Life can seem so unfair. We gambled coz we wanted more. We believe that we are worth more; than having to struggle financially, balancing family life whilst working our socks off.

Then at times it seems like gambling is the only way to get more money. But we must remember all the losses, and realise that when the losses occurred we had a similar mindset.

There has to be another way. If you have a D.M.P, surely the budget should include an amount for unforseen expenses (such as the mobile phone).

To feel at ease with financial affordability is vital for recovery. If the bank cannot help, perhaps friends or family. Try not to focus on the amount that you have lost gambling and the time it may take to pay it off.

You and your families health and wellbeing is more important. Focus on today, and tomorrow. What will be will be.

I have to forget about it, I know, it just burns thats all, somedays are better than others and I'm glad ive resisted temptation as its been there a lot especially in the last 7 days. But I never ever want to gamble again. Roll on day 50.

Hi Smashed

I called my diary "I can't change my past, only my future"... I started 5 years ago, drifted away, back again, drifted away.... the fact remains though, once it is gone it is gone. I try to focus on each day as it comes, I try not to get depressed about my past and not anxious about the future.

When temptation comes calling head straight on here and post, read, reply - I find that reading over my own posts/mistakes and realising that I am not alone. Any tempting thoughts will have been had by countless others before me and they ALWAYS lead to the same place... no money, depression, physical and mental impact on me and my loved ones.... well no more mate, no more.

Stay safe and GF.

Hi ste_ven i just read your diary, 5 years trying to rid the demon of compulsive gambling off your back, and 5 years thats the debt for me actually 4 years 10 months tomorrow. Does your post 5 years ago when youve said youve had enough seem like a lifetime ago or just the other day ?

50 days have passed since the realisation gambling beat me, time passes and like if I committed a crime I have to pay for a crime I committed on myself, clicking deposit. Knowing I shouldn't but so hooked by the addiction I didn't care. Thanks to everyone on here who has helped me get to the bullseye as I doubt I would be here if it wasn't for all the support and advice from the forums. The 23rd of November will be 100 and I'm looking to that.

Congratulations Smashed 50 Days GF...stephen

Well done Smashed on your 50 days+. Actually I really like your last post - it seems like you've reached a defining moment. If we really accept that gambling has beat us. That we're not going to get the money back. And that we will carry on with our lives - not with bitterness and resentment, but with hope, serenity and purpose.

Thanks Stephen & CML, I think I definately had the bitterness and resentment stage, but as the days pass you accept what you did and strengh comes from never ever wanting to handing over a penny piece to gambling again, to help others, as we all know wanting too and getting out are miles apart. And "I wish" or "If Only" are not bringing your money back. It's Gone. And as hard as it is to accept you have too, there is more to life than money, and only when you stop(properly stop) can you see that. Like in the Revenant gambling left me for dead, but somehow i've survived. 51 days an counting.

Hi Smashed thanks for popping by and well done on 51 days, I can relate to many of your posts, getting over the losses is really hard but I found acceptance the only way to move forwards. Take care and here's to staying GF S:)

To stop gambling you have to be very very focused that you really really want to stop. Gambling is all around us and no one could ever understand the mindset of someone who would gamble thier entire months wages in 30 minutes, for what initially started out as nicking a quick £50-100 pounds off a casino. There are so many new casinos popping up, looks like all the operators are jumping in sponsoring You tubers too promote thier casino, and none of them are spinning 20p stakes, like I said before a few will get out but loads more will be suckered in to the lure of free cash. Seeing young people on here wanting to give up, and throw the towel in lately is alarming, and that is just the few that come on here. It's crazy what being addicted to chasing a pipe dream can do. Day 54. Thanks again to the strong posters who help people who come here on the brink, your doing something very very positive.

Hi Smashed. Well done on your continued abstinence from the dreaded gambling that has taken so much from us in the past.

You clearly pay special attention to detail which will definitely pay dividends. You are really going for it and this will reap the benefits.

A belated thank you for your post on my 'insecurity' thread. Your summary of a gamblers experience in the zone, fighting the urges, defining the thought processes are so accurate.

Onwards and upwards mate. Hope life brings you rich rewards.

Thanks changemylife great posts as always from your good self. I am at the stage where I dont like gambling at all being here for a few months you see daily how it wrecks more and more lives, but it is something that will never go away so like a work collegue you dont like a neighbour you just stay away from them, live your life as if they dont exist don't b***h about them just let them do thier thing and get on with yours, set your goals and acheive them, take responsibility for your own actions. When you gamble, especially if you lose its easy to blame others, but thats gambling addiction taking over your mindset, and when you win , I dont need anyone if I want an extra £500 I can win it easy. Onwards and upwards lifting the curse.

It's 5am and the counter has clicked over to 60 days, two months since I came here a man completely broken by a compulsive gambling addiction that had me locked inside its car travelling at high speeds where I was hanging on to its every word, I half knew where we were heading straight into a wall off a cliff, but I couldnt get out. Luckily somehow I got out on August 13th 2017, but gambling wasnt happy that I got out and often comes looking for me telling me that this time will be different that we will take it steady next time and has sent his FREE £20, 50 FREE SPINS, 100% BONUS MATCH, 10% WAGERING, FREE SUPER SPINS, HOLIDAY DRAW, IPHONE, IPAD, £50,000 DRAW just come back this time it will be different. But I'm not getting back in I never want to be there again a place where the avenues run out and you ask yourself the "What's the Point" question, gambling can put you in that place where you dont even care about being alive. It was hard admitting to myself that I was deeply addicted, I knew I had a problem but who wants to admit to being an addict, you dont want to hear that, an addict is looked down upon a fool a stupid person an irresponsible person, but the hardest person to admit it too is yourself, and when I did that two months ago I realised that I could get out of this. A lot of people on here have looked out for me and helped me get to the 60 day mark and I am truly grateful. As in the early days you always are looking back at the destruction and not forwards, as you cant comprehend or justify the money wasted and the time you gave to the addiction. Stopping gambling gives you more than money back, it gives you your focus back, your drive back, your precious time back and more than anyting else you take your life back.