100 days.. brilliant! Achieved with honesty and determination. Heres ti the next 100 and more, take care S:)
Thank you all it means a lot, and reading all your diarys and stories is an inspiration to keep me focused. We all are taking our own paths be it sessions with Gamcare, group therapy, telephone help, or straight up riding it out cold turkey solo, as long as we are not feeding the Gambling Mind we are moving in the right direction, and with all the paths we just need to stay on the No gambling one . We need to stay on it as the other paths are going to get much worse more luring more addictive fueled paths, I know that they are working on VR slots and in 5-10 years it will be common, imagine sitting in your front room getting that big win thinking your sitting next to a leprechaun as he dishes you out gold from a cauldron, its going to get worse. Need to steer our kids away from what will be unknowingly tricked into thier minds, the fun, free money, be a millionaire for 25p, 3D Bingo(watch the balls fall from the sky) all in the name of good clean honest fun. Technology is moving fast and the gambling industry is moving with it and the games will be more real and they will become super addictive. Not sure what to do yet but we should work on standing up and speaking up, I'll get my thinking cap on, maybe a regular podcast to start with who knows, have a good day everyone.
Hi Smashed thanks for posting and love your profile picture! Indeed gambling is a dangerous mind game and the only way to fully escape is zero tolerance, easier said than done though. Thanks for support as always Sharon 🙂
Thanks Sharon as always.
Friday 24th November 2017 or 103 days since I have abstained from Gambling addiction, 103 days from that “all-or-nothing” thinking that made me drink to much, gamble like the world was ending, not sleeping at night, feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment, applying for loans to chase back losses that would only lead down one path and as the August days ticked by I was just accelerating and accelerating until mid August when I finally crashed. My stubbornness had costed me, I had to let go as carrying on to another gambling stage and there was more than losing just money at stake. I have changed since I came here asking for help and am very grateful for everyones input, not just gambling as the root core but understanding that we have to move forward “I wish I never done that” “ I wish I stopped before I lost it” understanding that we can’t change any past actions “I should of done this” or “I should of not done this” all negative thoughts, replacing them with “I will” and “I can” thoughts and making things happen. Balance and patience now form a big part of my life thanks to comments from people like changemylife who like his username suggests really does want to and is achieving his goals. Magnifying a problem only gives the problem more energy and he is a master at spotting that in peoples posts and giving good advice. Positive thoughts and happiness create more of the same, and we are so lucky to have what we have, would I rather be me getting by or a CEO of Payday Loan, Parking Enforcement or Gambling company or any other misery company come to that, massive house, Range Rover, millions in the bank, I wouldn’t want that, I know the misery it causes, I know what I am just an ordinary man, thats what I am. Is it a test was this set in my destiny, when I was married I was just a plodder just getting along watching the days go by no real worries, am I being tested, who by, by the other side of my mind that the gambling mind masked from me, maybe. d**n. Sorry I was just rambling on, just typing in a zone. Let us all seek a better life a better thought processes, and not only stop gambling but keep moving in the right direction and a better everything. Have a good weekend.
Thanks for posting on my diary Smashed.
Good to see you focussed and positively changing your outlook on life. Agree with Sharon your profile picture is good, an ever present reminder that we're going forward and not backwards.
Smashed. A massive congratulations on your gf milestone, and also thanks for the mention. It is quite disturbing looking back at that defining moment when we realized we'd hit rock bottom. That there was no longer any gambling options unless we lost control completely. It doesn't bear thinking about. But we have come out the other side to be given another chance. Sadly not everyone gets to see the light - and unfortunately, their whole lives are consumed by gambling. I am determined not to be that person, as I'm sure you will also affirm to. You are on your way to a much better life and your knowledge and positive mind control will prevail. All the best.
Martin
Belated Congratulations 100 days!!
Hope your gf days continue and brings you happiness in abundance! x
Day 107
When your gripped by addiction you think life is against you and you just lose your rational mind it gets taken over, emptied of any logical thought processes and you just are too blind too see what your doing to yourself, you have been suckered in by the all the stupid tricks in the book, you see it every day, you will probably see it today somewhere the four letter word that the industry loves. FREE the word always being the focal point in a shop or online £10 FREE, spend £10 get £40 FREE. This word is the most used word and is the biggest hook most of us always bite. Any online casino will have that word on thier main page and we focus on it because FREE is always the best price of anything ever. We have to know it's a hook a trick 100 FREE spins, and realise that nothing is FREE. And by not gambling our minds become FREE.
Music selection for the day is FREE by James Mason. 🙂
Day 110
Staying focused, i've said it before but I dont like the first of the month as it's DD day and seeing those payments leave your account makes all the questions come flooding back in "Why did you do it" "How could you gamble so d**n much" and you somehow in your head want revenge on the casinos who took it. I need to focus on the positive mind it's just like the gambling demon visits monthly like a debt collector "I'll take that, Thanks" "See you next month" you slam the door thinking you smug f**k, and wanna go and rob his f*****g casino and then burn it down. Sorry rant over.
Music Selection is Children of Zeus - No Sunshine Tomorrow
Hi Smashed, hope you have a relaxing Sunday ahead? Just wanted to say I find your posts thought provoking and really helpful. It sometimes feels like a long hard slog but every step is a small step in the right direction...forward. Take care S:)
Hi Smashed. Yes you're right about keeping focused because this addiction is complex and unforgiving. Of course we will harbor resentment and regret, but we just have to accept this. The key is to focus, assess and acknowledge, whilst maintaining a strong willed stance. The future CAN be better!
By the way, love that song from Children of Zeus, and the link to the live performance from the Engine Room. The words are both relevant and meaningful. I've now realized that I should expand my horizons when listening to music.
Day 113
The part of our brain that tells us that tells us to stop Gambling is the part that contains other keys that make us think deeper about our actions and the decisions we make and how we can get more from life as a whole. The problem with the good part is that the other part likes to be over ruled by the other part like a bully. Because as everyday people we are constantly feeding our brain with images and subconcious thoughts, but if we think for just a few seconds before we act our lives become better. But we say things like "Can't be bothered" or "It takes to long" always wanting a quick fix, for an example the other day for lunch I could either go home and make a nice cheese omlette, cherry toms, black pepper, side salad or the bad side of my brain the one that convinces us that we can win money gambling says no just get a McDonalds, quick easy and no fuss. Now usually I would give in to the bad side and say your right it takes long and it would just smile at the other side of the brain. Wait a couple of seconds and listen to the other side of the brain the one with the keys " Do you really want to eat a piece of processed c**P that cooks from frozen to cooked in 40 seconds, or something that you know you will enjoy" and just listening for once, that was probably the best omlette I ever had, and by listening I'm learning. The same with drinking, I enjoy a good night out with the lads, but my bad brain will tell me to drink on a wednesday for no reason and if I wait a few seconds all the keys side will say is "Why?" and when I listen the answer is "Why, indeed" and it all relates to the gambling side and expanding the key side to irradicate the gambling side makes us better people. There is good music out there Martin it's just buried 🙂
Sorry for the mad ramblings hope it makes sence to someone.
So todays tune relates to unlocking the keys.
Dego & The 2000 Black Family - Find A Way
Hi Smashed thanks for your post, I did read a quote about numbers something like they go on forever blah blah, can't remember. But I totally agree with you, I have Hever been a 'keeping up with the Joneses' type and am not swayed or impressed by what people own, it'S about who they are. Lately I have let the domestic scene slip (well a bit more than that lol) But y'day I put my all into the house and made a pie from scratch. Even though this is not groundbreaking the satisfaction and the appreciation I received was the best feeling ever, wipes the floor with gambling for sure. SO yes it'S the little, often costing very little, things that make you happy. Have a great GF day my friend S:)
Great post Smashed. I really like the way you express your thoughts. You've just hit it on the head with the definition of activity in our minds - the crux of the matter. Key decision-making based on logic and knowledge, rather than impulse and desire.
Thanks for your comments on my diary, see we are both at similar stages of recovery.
Let's keep going and make this a positive end to 2017 🙂
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