Don't Turn Around

I want to thank each and everyone of you for posting, today has been a day of reflection a day where I thought the days of writing a post like this was banished to last summer. Even though I was writing my thoughts and self motivation thoughts I knew I had left a few worm holes open and thought I knew all the signs and that I was so on top of thoughts and urges and that I had all bases covered. The weekend came as normal and the rest of the family done there Xmas without us ie me and my daughter, i’ve never been the favourite son always the ugly duckling, the black sheep but it’s never phased me too much, I realised it never phased me but it did my daughter, and although she said it was fine, deep down she felt it she hasn’t got my tough skin. I never felt like posting on the forums and for the first time in a long time somehow I was listening to the gambling mind, me someone who gradually was working out all the moves, the tricks. Ironically I knew it was coming but was late with the barriers, I was depositing a hundred at time and was saying “ No, No, No” as I was doing it, it was either pay off the balance or max it out, one mega win and I’m gone, stupid gambling logic, Today I have closed all wormholes I left, and am sure I have left no spare keys to any available site whatsoever, I let a family event weaken my addiction defence mechanism and paid the price, back to day d**n one, c**P. I let a lot of you down as I thought I would not be distracted off my path and I had this addiction caged up but I have to be more on my guard. Day 1 😐

Get your chin up Smashed and get back on the right path.

Stay strong

Breakfree

Morning Smashed. Hang in there mate, it's just a minor blip on your road to recovery and a gamble free life. It's just one day out of the 100+ gamble free days you have done so well to accrue. Counting the days can help but the most important thing is the peace of mind we have when each day we do not gamble. You have provided some inspiration posts since you started your diary and have been a great support to lots of people.

I am sure we all want to see you back posting on here asap, i know I do.

Take care mate, check in soon.

46 and Out

So pleased that you're back in the positive state of mind. I can see that you have a few family issues that tear at the heartstrings. It's never easy. But you will stand tall and make your own definitive show of self-will. Other people can only influence us with our permission.

Forget the losses. Don't focus on the debts. Realise your potential and look forward... Gambling is never the answer...

Believe that you can break through into the media industry, should you still have this desire. Drive forward. Create. Enjoy...

This time next year eh?...

Reach out for a better life Smashed - You deserve it!

Maybe it’s time to give that sitting round in a circle a go? Your way clearly isn’t enough & from what I’ve read of your diary, the GA orange book could have been written for you!

I think you’ll be surprised at how different your evaluation would be if someone else did it! I thought I knew myself but I’m finding out now that the bits I knew & thought were great aren’t quite so amazing as they seemed. My ‘youth’ never phased me but the more I learn about addiction, the more I recognise that it has influenced my poor choices. Effective barriers are only a very small part of recovery.

Thanks for all your comments, means a lot as always.
Ive learnt a lot, and changed a lot since August. Digging deep into that Gambling Mind, studying it and working it out and how it works in conjunction with the other parts, the other parts giving you the wisdom to diminish its powers. I was caught off guard, caught by a sucker punch as I had also put family where I put gambling, and by not dealing with family issues, gambling crept through the ajar door and infiltrated my mind and there we was again. So I know I must sort out my family issues in much the same way as I had to take on the gambling issues back in August. Thanks for the positivity Martin, have still 100% got the desire, more than ever, and even getting an office (very small, but cheap) early 2018 to pursue that avenue and am positive about striving forward it’s in me so this time next year indeed, don’t forget your project either, i’ll keep reminding you about it. My movie started with me waking up after that crazy August night and now a car crash, but the film rolls on, I know the ending and will make it happen.

Going to take a leaf out of your book of positivity! ! Great post with underlying message of anyone can achieve anything. Best wishes for your future project and a GF 20 18 and beyond take care S:)

Thanks Sharon as always.

Hope everyone is good and enjoyed the festive season. Im glad its nearly over as looking forward to a good positive start to the new year. I have reassesed in my mind all possible infiltrations gambling might take to once again attack and have strengthened that dam to military levels of security. Going to use all my mind power directing my thoughts towards a desired outcome. Focus on success and you attract success. And by letting doubt and the “What If” mindset and fear and failure thoughts creep in it can only attract failure. I’m setting dates in my head of when I have to do things, when I have to leave this dead end job, how I’m going to do it, acting on all the positive thoughts and remembering that “I Can” and to recognise when I’m thinking doom and gloom to eliminate the negative thinking. Just going to focus on what I want from life and avoid thinking about what I don’t want. Our lives are shaped by what we do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWdnX3XlaI4

You are welcome! I agree with you 'think positive, stay positive' anything is possible great to see people look outside of their bubble...I guess the bottom line is if you don't like something do something about it ( easier said than done though as we all know!) Wishing you all the best for your plans, am 100% with you here. Have some plans myself and nothing in my head is saying 'you can't' take care S:)

Love your positivity buddy. You really are in control of your thoughts and desires, - reaching out towards achieving your goals whilst realising your true destiny.

Going for it! in 2018. With you all the way.

Hope your ok Smashed. It takes a while to settle down after a fall. But time soon passes and now your 12 days back on the road. I enjoyed listening to your miusic choice.

Looking forward to us all having a gamble free 2018. It will be fun to see how life pans out during 2018. However I will still focus on one day at a time as it seems more achievable that way.

I don't think it does any good berating ourselves but self discipline is a quality I would like to work on, likewise I see my fitness, diet and relaxation as important.

I will try to keep motivated and persue hobbies that will destract me from thoughts of gambling. It is pointless making impossible demands on myself because that would soon backfire.

Take care my friend. We are all different and what works for one might not suit others. Whatever directions your life takes, I wish you find peace and contentment.

Just to add to this... I think it's important in life to be patient. It can take a while to turn things around so we mustn't expect immediate results. Even though it would be lovely to simply wave a magic wand to make everything just right. Rome definitely wasn't built in a day, or painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling for that matter!

I guess that for most CG's -working towards achieving goals it is perhaps a little alien, - otherwise we may not have fallen into the world of gambling due to our lack of confidence, and ended up in a sprial of negative vibes. But we can achieve our goals, and we will. Target that incredibly rewarding job and you will never look back. My daughter is beginning a volunteer role as an assistant editor with a local publication. Hopefully this could open the door to better things.

Coz the alternatives are bad. And gambling takes more than it gives. Even though our crazy minds suggest that it is actually possible to win a fortune - Well yes. It is possible for us to climb Mount Everest or wrestle with tigers... But the odds are stacked against us. Let's never forget that.

P.s. Remember that lively bar next to the beach in Tenerife. Happy, smiling people getting tipsy, playing pool or having a dip in the pool. The sunshine radiantly shining down upon your shoulders. This could be your bar!

Happy New Year...

Happy New Year.

Thanks for all the support and wisdom. The start of a new year and a new staircase to climb. This year will be different as I won’t just let it pass me by, plod on, stay in lane. I need to learn from whats happened to me, especially when it comes to addiction, gambling obviously being the main user of inspiring fear which intern leads to too much alcohol bad diet and so it goes on. I’m going for a dry January, no alcohol as I want to attack January with all my Mind Power. Tomorrow going to look at the lockup/office and hope I can cut a good deal with the owner as will spend a lot of time there following the 2018 paths to creating the new visions I see in my head. I now write down a lot of what I think and when ideas come into my head and don’t just brush them off like it don’t deserve my time, Ive had my day, your too old, and I want to keep my motivation at all times. I am incredibly lucky to have a magnificent daughter who encourages me to keep striving, she is focused herself and I get so much aura from her. We promised the dog a massive walk today so looking forward to talk about life and what it should be.
So first post for 2018 no more looking back, I want all of us to follow our destiny, look out for fallers and pick them up, keep learning about how and why and strive forward heads held high and don’t let anyone tell us we can’t. 2018 I’m Ready.

Happy New Year Smashed, lots of similarities here! Defo dry January and focusing on doing things differently. Although I'm glad to still be GF other habits need addressing, so will take a leaf out of your motivationAl book. With you 100% I know you can do this! Take care S:)

Great post #134 Smashed. Clearly you are ready for action and change. I hope that you are well and ready for the challenges ahead. Go for it!