Dormant

You get more trains than the Fat Conductor lol (laugh out loud)

A positive......

In the 5 years or so since i came to this forum. The first 2 years after initial early slips, were 100% abstain and maintain. The 20 or so slips in the last 3, never went into the 2nd day and they were individual slips. I did have a deluded spell, thinking that maybe i could control, but never did...Shoot, i just delidvered a white lie there. In between slips, i was escaping to the non financial damage of lotto and penny poker.....Shoot, i recognised the sly addictive mind in action.

Paul is making progress.......

5 years ago you would have taken 1800 gf days and only 20 day's gambling !!! that has to be progress I think that works out as 98.9999% gamble free

Pretty impressive figures I'd say, Oldham

Progress indeed V, keep on keeping on progressing, learning and winning for real:)))

Suzanne xxx

Thanks, my progress was recognising that i was being deluded and reads more like 40%. It was like recognising the addicted brain in action and trying to validate my existence... Thats my progress and im proud...

Struggling today and slowly sank in the quicksand of my mind. Rather than go with it, i fought unneccesary. Need to slow down, maybe no coincidence that it coincided with my missed therapist. Trying to deal with life without the crux's of a lifetime.....

It will pass, i know. Just getting my thoughts down......Just need to find away to rather than fight the quick sand but to wiggle out of it...So as Bear Grylis.............................................. https://youtu.be/JHCW_bqWLTo

Hiya Buddy , thanks for your last post but you should reserve your judgements until you read the last post I sent to Oldham !

Al !

Alan and Martin,

You both inadvertently helped me out of the quick sand, so now please join me in a rendition of.....

Here we go with Leeds United,
We're gonna give the boys a hand,
Stand up and sing for Leeds united,
They are the greatest in the land,

na na na

Everyday, we're all gonna say,
We love you Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!
Everywhere, we're gonna be there,
We, love you Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!

Marching On Together!
We're gonna see you win
na na na na na na
We are so proud,
We shout it out loud we love you Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!

We've been through it all together,
And we've had our ups and downs (UPS AND DOWNS!)
We're gonna stay with you forever,
at least until the world stops going round

na na na

Everyday, we're all gonna say we love you Leeds!Leeds!Leeds!
Everywhere, we're gonna be there,
We, love you Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!

Marching On Together!
We're gonna see you win
na na na na na na
We are so proud,
We shout it out loud we love you Leeds! Leeds! Leeds!
We are so proud, we shout it out Loud we love you LEEDS! LEEDS! LEEDS!

Stop speaking this poison V

Whoa.. what an emotional/ spiritual illness addictions are.

Yesterday, I was back in the deepest of head funk. The volcano inside slowly bubbling away. A habit of a lifetime, trying forcibly to push these feelings away ... Was worried last night whether I was going to experience another night of fighting the hungry pack of lions Then possibly with this forum and 2 wannabe Lufc supporters, mixed with you tubing, I was back in seeing the paper lions.

I know it's hard, but I know it's ok to be pi.ssed off. I was yesterday and wouldn't say I'm jumping through hoops today but that's ok. Im/ we're human and not in the robotic state of addictions.

I think any post yesterday was more bravado and trying to forcibly snap out of funk. I know it will happen again, so at least for now I'll push on.

I use to think the term ' be nice to you ' was just a bunch of nice people trying to make someone feel better. But it is and it isn't, we spend so much time in our addictions beating ourselves up, so now I'm on the conclusion it's only just the start in tackling the slyness of the head.

So on that note ' be nice to yourself' world.

ps . Interview went well, breathing space as well as I got through to 2nd interview. Just have the a**l hr questions... where the f**k do I want to be in 3-5 years blah de blah.

Paul

Morning fella, I had that question posed by hr when I took my current position

Where do you want to be in five years?

My answer, 'to be able to wake up each morning and tell my wife how much I love her'

The silence was golden lol.

Enjoy it my friend.

Life.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

thanks volcano for your support on my diary. very much appreciated. tri

Thanks Tri......

A Random thought.... & recognition.

My relapses always happen between the months - November and March!! The dark months of recovery. ... & addiction!!

Random. There's no coincidence that Stephen Hawkin is a genius. We're all equal, but some are more equal than others ..

Addiction can quite possibly be a gift....

Interesting random thought V,

My thoughts on that one are Addiction is not a gift, but it can be turned around around when we start our recovery journey, simply because we learn so very much through thst addiction, that it does give us the gifts thst recovery gives us, so addiction can give us the choice of recovery if we let it in.so I guess in that way addiction can gift us.

Suzanne xxx

Addiction has been both a curse & a gift to me...Without it, I wouldn't be the person I am today, smiling @ the 1st buds of Spring & marvelling @ the warmth of a good Winter coat!