Dormant

Thanks Paul , really didn't think about going on youtube for some inspiration !

Trouble is now I'm gonna be glued to these for day's and think of nothing else !!

Paul,

Likewise my friend, I have always been drawn to your diary. We can both think ourselves into knots at times so its nice to know we can make some connection. I think we are resigning ourselves to misery if we stay in that line of thinking, LB gave a good answer to that question of how can you not be ready for recovery. Trying to do the unfamilar and act on things more is what I am trying to aim for. Its not easy but we have to keep trying.

Thanks Suzanne & ODAAT, I think in a roundabout way, we all agreed in regard to random thought. ODAAT, you inadvertently gave me a nugget with regards to buds of spring etc. Al, I genuinely believe you could deliver a pearler in the quickness of a flash and get your sentiments... Rob, ditto 🙂

Random thought extended....

There's no coincidence that Stephen Hawkin is a genius......

Would Stephen Hawkin exchange his life for a clouded headed healthy body Adonis?

No brainer in my book, Gifts can be sought from the most unfamiliar of sources......

Paul,

Fella I have been laughing at your proposed question all day regarding your time with hr.

The truth is for twenty years I didn't have a single job interview, each job came through a recommendation or word of mouth.

Only in this job have I encountered the hr influence.

Tomorrow I have someone coming to see me regarding the second chefs position I have available, that's come through word of mouth and I have bypassed the hr,no doubt I will feel somebody's rathe, lol I think it is a hopeless position in my trade!

Typical questions

What are your two strengths?

What are your two weaknesses?

Blah de blah!

Lol I like to counter all their ridiculous questions with a question!

My favourite 'what is the capital of wednesday?'

It renders them speechless lol.

My advice to you enjoy your time with them, take what is positive and bin the rest.

Life works for me that way.

With strength and honour

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Volcano for your support on my diary. I'll have to have a think about the random thought/addiction stuff etc.
Thought provoking stuff...
Rosie x

Blind leading the blind... There's a good reason why these old sayings hang around. My point there is, im fairly blind when it comes to recovery.... Yey, theres alot out there who are not so blind.

Each and every diary on here, are written with the same words ( different slant at things ) from people going through there own very unique journey. Yet, just by proof of the diarys, not one of us is unique but at different stages of recovery. Recovery from addiction is comparable to the cycle of grief. Thats a parody what keeps me atleast confused. I think if you look at recovery as a never ending marathon, some times you need refueling or change of spikes, well its no use trying to use up all your energy to get back to the place you was at. Run with it, and feed/ share the energy of the new runners you find next to you.

Truthfully with me, i've found my self back on the threshold of a downward spiral. Therapist this evening so hopefully crawling back to dry land.... Who knows....

A completely random conspiracist thought.....

I've been watching completely random films these past few weeks at silly hours. Last week i watched the last 2/3 rds of Damien 3, then i saw a program on Donald Trump. It was like watching the same program. This isn't too deep thinking, but more of a moral is you need to be careful and simply mix with the circle you feel comfortable with, both 3d and cyberly.

The Suns come out.

Randon head on a train Alert.

Are lottery winners happy, have they found the chalice?

No way...All them begging letters & not being able to help people that really need it because they are rich & not God!

Money doesn't make us happy, living makes us happy!

If they were happy before winning then maybe that will continue. If they weren't then it's doubtful that the money will bring happiness. I read about a man who'd won the lottery twice...I could only wonder why, after winning it the first time, was he still doing it?

What do you think V, ofcourse at the beginning after the shock, it's how they deal with life changing circumstances that can be a problem, I don't do it anymore, but OH is in a syndicate at work, has been for donkey years lol, and yea when he mentions it, ofcourse my fingers are doubly tightly crossed, (for him ofcourse)

Luv reading your randem thoughts, by the way, makes me smile in a nice way

Suzanne xxx

Agreed, no right or wrong answer

Hi V, had a scroll through some lines but I'm not convinced it is for me! I didn't really take to the prГ©cis of how 'The Secret' had led to great wealth & I tended to ignore all the other great stuff it could do! I understand the concept of negative thoughts dragging me down but I know for a fact that for many years I was absolutely certain that I was gambling to win! If the power of positive thought is that powerful, I wouldn't be here now because those thoughts had everything I had to give!

I dunno if I ever was 'that poor little rich kid' but no-one ever caught me playing kiss chase (I always just assumed it was because I was an excellent runner) & I had Nike Wally Waffle when everyone else was sporting Dunlop Green Flash so no two ways about it, my money issues comes from being a spoilt brat! I can't change my past, that's what has shaped me but it doesn't define me & so I will not let it ruin my future.

Completely Agree with that ODAAT, my sentiments wholeheartedly and maybe a good reason why I didn't read it. Thinking back, the line I was referring to was such as someone, who made there money and enjoyed there honest way of getting to where they wanted, then could never relax and enjoy there fruits as now they were more worried now about losing it, which they invariably did.

Back out of seeing therapist. I like her, not sure about the Dr Martins though.

I'm flying at the moment, with nearly everything I'm doing. Reconnecting, opening my eyes, etc but also well aware that everyday is different.

Had missed last week's therapy and felt it. I'm not noway ever going to make a time line on anything but I've committed myself to 10 sessions, then ready to hand over to GA. Hopefully, I'll re cross that threshold before then, but I need to find out where I'm going to be working next.... is that an excuse or logic? I can't really honestly answer that.

The therapy wad good but the tw.at of a train man made me late. ( white lie, I made my self late, but he was a t***t none the less.

The therapy switches from tears to laughter, which I realised are very closely related. Something else came up, regarding my accident.... nor sure it matters though, bit will expand another time.

Has anyone heard of the inner and outer circle of anxiety? I hadn't untill 30mins ago. And don't completely get it, but get it I will.

Did tend to talk twice as fast with therapist to get money's worth, after paying for last week's missed session. ☺

Anyway back on dry land but not taking it for granted.....

Another interview tomorrow, things are moving fast in them lanes.

Hey V, I think most of us had it all before we became addicted, I think for me, I started this gambling melochy as fun, (even though I knew both my sons had problems with this, ) but I was just playing bingo online, it was a knew thing and I enjoyed it, losing 20 a week week was no problem at all, it was entertainment money and well spent, until I took thst wrong road, with the slots, and won, that was my downfall, I did not play to make money, but once I had that big win on 15p ( never forget that one) I was addicted and didn't even realise it, 7 or 8 years later after being comfortable with money in my and OHs life, we lost it all through me, no not the house,but the innocent private personal trust between two people, it will always be there, and I want to be saying like Duncs in five years time, that I want to be waking up with my OH around me, it's down to me, like you, your life is down to you, you seem quite low at this time with your thoughts my friend, don't let digging too deep affect your amazing journey, it can make you feel too negative, there is no rush on this journey, and I am very proud to be walking along side with you, and even more proud that we share our ups and downs.on here.

Respect back dear Paul, I feel your anxiety, and hope, and just as important determination.

Suzanne xxx

Random thought alert.

When you point a finger, why is there 3 fingers pointing back at you?

Does this mirror the mirror?