down right stupid and can't stop

tappyt1980 wrote: Who was I kidding can just stop like that hahaha not a chance seems I just can't help myself and in a vicious circle partner gave me a chance said no more n he'd stay me back too hiding it seems any spare but of money I can pull together ill just gamble away spare being the op word my overdraft is a big fat red and bills coming out of my ears yet I can seem too help myself then hate myself even more round and round I go, I need help something anything too stop this cycle I only ever play on my phone so even thinking of maybe getting rid of it??

Do it! I sold my iPad my iphone and laptop to help me quit, ive also got password locks on home computers, I feel trapped and alone but I would be in a bigger state if I hadn't done it x

Hi tappy,

Sounds similar to my story and decided yesterday that enough was enough. I would take a guess ghat you only do Iit on your phone because there is no embaressment, and easy to hide from everyone. At least thats why I would use my phone. I have never been in a bookies as I would be too embaressed but on my phone my first thought is noone will know any different. Wrong! It still has the same outcome as every gambling method, you lose your money. I feel the same as you and decided to confess to my family. Do you think you would try to gamble if you didnt have your phone? You could try installing k9 to stop youaccessing any sites on your mob, thsts what I have done on my phone and tablet to prevent me using those wretched sites. Only day 2 for me but we all have to start somewhere. Wish you all the best at stopping.

Bex

Thanks all I do think it's the best way forward I've tried not picking up my phone but sat unable too talk to my partner about things as he says (it's choice) as I always buy food pay bills etc he doesn't see the addiction as he thinks I'd leave us with nowt strange that I don't and he only knows I lost 1000 overdraft not 2000 I don't know what else to try as I end up picking up my phone ( yes as it's easy to hide) and first thing I do I'll have a crafty 10 as can't self exclude without ringing them at costa and I can't face that so have 20 limit set on it but then I play 20 a day till its gone i know it's linked too my depression and come from a family where the good times were always when my mum and dad had a win on the machines but lately I don't know what's wrong with me my sister lent me 130 to ensure I wasn't over my over draft limit too pay for bank charges after id admitted it the first time, and I gambled it all away am so ashamed of myself (my sister gambles also but she doesn't realise we have a problem) I've wrote lists of list on budgeting to pay it all back this was my aim from Jan 1st a month on altered lists and still 2000 overdraft gone nothing put back to it and angry with myself as I could waste this money on my three boys which would Def make me happier than this

Just tried looking up this k9 for android but when installed it doesn't seem to do anything ?

I downloaded secureteen today. It automatically blocks gambling sites. You have to set a password that can be used to unblock but I've got my hubby yo change password so I don't know it therefore I can't unblock phone or tablet.

It worked fine on my android phone, once its installed and you open it it should request a password and settkngs to be added. Did u download through playstore?

Yeah through play store keeps saying k9 stopped working ill try that secureteen it's either that or I'm going to have to come up with some excuse as too why I want to get rid of my phone when I mithered for ages for it wish I could just get mentally strong enough to resist but I guess that takes time I stopped gambling all together for 10 yrs plus till last year I'd only just got my self financially stable after a huge huge mess and then self destruct yet again leaving me not as bad as I was but still messed up.... argggghhhh

Thank you all for the help by the way I really appreciate it I guess the greatest thing is being able too admit it all for what it is not try telling half a story so people arnt as shocked or hurt by the mess Ive created

Sounds very similar to me again but if we keep coming back here we can be open and honedt without being judged. So many people who understand what its all about and there has to be strength in unity and sharing our problems instead of trying to pretend they arent there. I have been able to write stuff on here that I wouldnt dream of saying to someone face to face, I feel relieved snd yhat I am no longer alone, just as you will by sharing your thoughts. I am on day 2 so we are pretty much starting this journey together and I will be here all the way. Keep thinking positive thoughts.

That's so true an anon1982 it feels good to be able too speak the truth get it off your chest without being shouted at judged I think we all beat ourselves up enough about it and the greatest help is support and though hard trying to understand ill look up your thread I'm also hear every step of the way for anything you may want to talk about keep strong x

Thanks for the post tappy, it seems our stories are very similar, only difference is my mum wasn't a gambler but an alcoholic. Still she spent more time with her partner then she did wondering if we were ok. I have used most of the things I disliked about my mum to make sure I was different for my daughter, never ever drink and am always here for her to talk to and she tells me everything. I think ghat is probably the hardest part of this, I have tried so hard to be different to my mum, tried so hard to be a great mum, the one I wish I had when I was growing up and then to see the disappointment in my daughters eyes to let her down so badly. Thats whats killing me the most right now and that is the reason I have to make sure I stop. I do not want the resentment that I have for my mum especially as ive tried so hard to be diffrrent. Still all I can do is try and repair the damage ive done and hope for the best. We need to try and be our best and not fall into thrir footsteps.

Bex I can totally understand my son is 15 and when I had to tell him as he didn't understand the arguments me and my youngest dad was having he offered his support bless him it was just me him and his brother for along time but I sat and tried to explain I'm not perfect but that doesn't mean i won't keep trying, your daughter will come round and one day be more proud of you for taking the steps you have my boys reaction is what makes me kick myself everyday and makes me want to be better if only your daughter knew how much you beat yourself up already why not try writing a letter to her stating what uve said just here just now how much she means to you and explain the steps and help your embarking on to make sure you don't dissapoint her and how much that means to you, it's weirdly nice readying someone else's story knowing how similar they are even down to partners and then my biggest thought I'm not the only one its a huge relief as I thought I was going mad x

Installed secureteen and tried to access game sites it blocks them so at least the impulse urge is taken care of and I can think before that dreaded opps I've deposited today I'm going to sit and get a plan of action going on repaying my dambed overdraft and get back on top and think of a new hobbie or such to keep me busy x

Day 1.... am currently off work due to being laid up when my back went so this morning has been very tempting usually first thing I do is log in to different sites and get my free daily bonus today I logged into here, downloaded secureteen checked it worked it did and now I'm going to go through paperwork and get some order into things, maybe sell a few unwanted items to help out as this week the money I will get has already gone charges from bank, bills and a little food shopping, wage day is next week and already owe most of that out too so need to get organised to at least see a little improvement hoping my back eases up so I can get back to work and be busy had a good read on here many leading from similar backgrounds to mine this helps a little in putting things into perspective and maybe today I won't kick myself at what a failure I am doubt it but hey I can hope