down right stupid and can't stop

Woohoo, wanted to hear from you before I shouted your double figures from the rooftops 🙂

Good to see you putting the bleach to good use (I'm more the dust & wipe kinda gal, dust with my hand & wipe on my jeans) but I wished has been busy cleaning away her demons (in her skinny jeans so it's less washing) lately & she swears it's therapeutic!

Stay on your guard - ODAAT

Hey odaat I just read your last post on your diary.... about not wanting to feel your rubbing people's noses in things well I personally love reading your diary entries reading the banter and im glad u feel u have it all it gives the rest of us hope we can get there to so don't hide your happiness :0) u help so many people with your support it's fantastic and shows what a caring person you are, thanks again hun x

Hi tappy

It's good to read you have reached a whopping 10 days and already aware of your first pay day.

Keep dipping that bleach on your cloth to get rid of your thoughts, (don't rub hands on jeans though lol)

Staying positive and keeping busy with guard tightly up wil get you through, the first couple of weeks are tough and can be very draining, remember to look after you.

Take care stay safe and keep winning.

Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne I appreciate the support (already ruined one of my favorite jumpers) maybe cause for a reward when I get my bills down a bit haha
hope your well x

Lol, really love your poems, you have talent there girl

Suzanne xx

Thanks I attually forgot how much I like to write, in my last bowt of recovery (lasted 10 whopping years) complacancy is a killer i guess, I wrote alot I find it helps and it seems to just enter my head (one of them many voices/stroke all of them funny voices getting a line in haha) thank you for reading them though and your kind words x

Hey I am talking to a veteran, 10 years tappy, That is some fantastic abstinence, and you call it a bout of recovery, you have done marvellous, I guessed there was a lot of wisdom in your poems, Hats off to you, Addiction just loves complacency, I guess thst is why I post every day, because I know it would be easier sometimes to stop thinking about me being a CG, and just get on with my life, thank you so much for reminding me even more

Suzanne xx

Thank you for understanding! People who work with me may not believe it 😉 but you are right, I genuinely do care about people 🙂

With the gamble free time you have, you know there's hope, you just have to find a way to believe it again! That was your blip, this is you back in recovery! & I echo Suzanne's thanks because you are back to remind us all why we must stay on our guard!

I can't believe how many wonderful poems you & Wayne are churning out! My 10 lines were the culmination of sleepless nights & as I've said before, I'm so proud to see you supporting him now so that I could bow out with no guilt 🙂

Hi tt

Thankyou for your post,i;ve had a quick read through your diary and may i say well done you.

I have a 16 yr old and it broke my heart when i first told him about my addiction a good few years ago but you know kids are stronger than you give them credit for.I ended a 20yr relationship about 6 yrs ago now due to my unhappiness and the problems my gambling caused,even now he still makes comments about it,i also have a 6 yr old terror who is very hard work and working full time as well im surprised i find the time to gamble lol.Anyway we seem to have a similar family set up except i only have the 2.Sorry rambling abit i just wanted to say the day my ex and i split up was the day i finally relaxed our house is calm the children are happy,no more shouting and without his constant digs i found it easier to face the addiction.Although my unhappiness with him was alot of my reason for gambling ,to escape.

So i will stop rambling on your diary and wish you well and congrats on the double figures.Stay busy and if you face those demons head on as you are it wont be long before you have another 10 yrs under your belt

Stay strong

L xx

little things like my mobile being put on incoming only reminds me of what a mess I've made of late and of the debt I'm now in I know I get paid Friday and ill pay the bills because ive been paying late the last few months but still I was just sending a message to a very close friend who's going into hospital tomorrow I wanted her to know I was thinking of her n how much she means to me (I did end up leaving a voice mail as she didn't answer phone from house phone ) she has been my rock the one friend who knows all and has been so supporting she's like my adopted mum i can go to her with anything its made my heart drop and a real reminder of the little reasons why it is a must to put things right and stay focused ....
today day 10 is and will be gamble free..

Sorry think we were writing at the same time L , it's mad isn't it how calm you can feel without the constant digs and tension in the house I have a 15 yr old an 11 yr old and a 2 yr old terror thinking about it it is a wonder where the time gambling came from tho I was a dab hand at clutching my phone while cooking cleaning playing being there but not really there,
the last few days we attually sit talk my older's no longer go to there room all night on comps but want to watch a film with me I hope this continues
anyway I'm here if ever u want a chat a rant and one day at a time we can do this xx

Hi tt

Thanks for the message I'm doing okay, mental week at work and just been so tired have nt been on here much other thrn reading a few posts. Hope ur doing well sounds likr you are staying strong and congratulations on getting through the first week. I have had the odd urge but managed to resist and hopefully they will lessen as time goes on. Hope you're back is feeling a bit better. glad you're feeling a bit better about everything. Stay strong.

Take care

Bex x

Just dropping by to say Hi & thank you for your awesome poems 🙂

Sorry not been about I went to stay at my dad's this weekend with the boys and not long got back in and paid my mobile bill so no Internet over the weekend thought I'd just check in quickly before getting cracking will write more later x