Nearly 50 days! On my way to 100 day challenge...I wont stop this time its permanent!
50 days...
I have managed to stop Alcohol...Lower fat in my diet....And prospect of a new job that pays better than the one I just left...That's what happens when you focus! Half way to 100... 50/100...
51 Days, I haven't gambled and I told myself I have learnt my lesson...This last gamble wasn't the worst that I have done in terms of losses...However, it felt the darkest yet...
I got deep depression and couldnt see the light at the end of the tunnel, I was destroyed...All of the issues I faced, and still do, were not manageable....Now my mood has changed and I think that I can deal with everything that I have a problem with....
One major thing that has helped is, diet; drinking and eating...I'm sure this make you feel different....
I know I dont want to gamble anymore...But there is still this little voice at the ack of my mind saying, you may get rich from the odd lottery scratchcard..e.tc.e.t.c.....The truth is, the chances of anything like that happening are just impossible...Besides that behaviour triggers cg's to fall victim to their addiction...
Peace.
I am not just battling gambling....I am battling through life; gambling, drinking, over eating, depression and work/money related issues...Therefore it is not easy when you lay all of these things on the table....I take every step at a time....I will beat all of these things by taking controll of my life as each day passes..
Hai Derv,
I've always followed your diary ' s and we somewhat mirror each other in our quest for ' life ' and not really grasping what this addiction is about and the reason why we keep falling flat on our face.
An old memory that does stick in my mind is when you ' were facing things now ' and going for your degree and the subsequent elation ypu felt when getting it. I guess my long winded point is that we all need focus and have achievable aims. Without any thing to work towards or look forward too, then life in general and giving up on our ' comfort ' blankets seem a hard slog, then the head falls, then rinse/ repeat and so on.
Not sure whether I made any sense there, but it's also a note for me - Take Aim and Focus
-
I still cannot navigate this site 🙁
Hi Dervkidd
Sorry to hear you're having problems with the site. If you could explain a bit more about the problems you're having we'll do our best to help. You might prefer to email us at forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
Hi diary,
Thanks for the support people.
I was much more comfortable with the old layout of this website. I have an issue with other's posts. when I want to reply I am not sure if they go to my thread or theirs. That's the main reason I don't add much content to support others!
No gambling equals less stress.
To Alleinpo,
I have read back to one of your posts on my diary. What you are explaining to me is very scary when you describe fears, and control...Especially when people like us understand the urges of a gambler.
Gambling has really has eaten away at my life and destroyed the money I have earnt- or even stolen- on occasions way back. However, I am, lets say overall £50k down, a mere drop in the ocean according to high rollers. I am just a poor guy from a poor family and feel I dont deserve the treatment that I have had in life. Some people can win that money back in one bet. I sometimes want to claim back the £50k in compensation to do the things that I should have done, like pay my bills, treat my kids and set a good example of what a father can be. I aint a young man no more and am looking at the mistakes I have made throughout my life. I am joining the dots looking backwards and that is the only way I can proceed forward, because I fear what the unknown brings. Gambling promises to give youinstant security and a future but it never delivers and it destroys the weak....I feel that I am so ungrateful for the money that the system once churned out to me....Now I have nothing....But I do have a clean sheet so far, so good!...I am proud to get this far although I know it is hell of a climb that will take time to regain my full confidence and get my life back on track...
Regards.
D.
Hello,
I just did a 12hr nightshift and feel shattered. However, I am still on the wagon...No drink, no gambling and hopefully my bank balance will slowly be restored to its original state! It really is good at this point because its the chase that gives us back the opportunities that we deserve not to mention taste...Forget being rich because you will lose all of your senses!
-
Thanks Allianepo...
Really am grateful for your support!
I know you are certainly right and have hit a note....Yes, why run away? Why work for more money? It is a greed driven society and the government are hellbent on selling us the American dream. Even if they did give a poor man millions they usually end up dead, skint or live happily ever after with cameras up their a***s.
Let's take a look more closely to home. Debt is at the top of the agenda for me. Then there is rent, clothes food and shopping. I can't afford to settle any of these things and it's a total mess. They talk about people getting their lives on track, unfortunately many can't. The way through all of this is; just dont let all those things cross your mind...Like they just did (lol).
Momentarily. I was on top with a gambling win and the feeling of winning is great although very shortlived because you will eventually be down again. How on Earth all of this has slipped through the net is anyone's guess. I just wish the Government could re-set the system and give everyone what they want.
...It's everywhere, not many can go out to work and survive on the pay...
Back to the positive vibes...It isn't our faults to try to gain our losses....People wouldnt even dream of winning if things we evenly shared. Why would you want more?
These games were created to make profits that are unimaginable to the designers....The government has cashed in on the tax from the betting industry as businesses fail and people lose their homes. Mickey Mouse is our leader now and we are all supposed to do as we are told...What I say is; it is all lies and some leaders admit that it is...But overall society isn't the problem, it's the elite and the government that have created all these lies to cover up the biggest scandals ever created.
Another thing is, technology now is amazing therefore the days of our forefathers working their hands to the bone should be over. Moreover, they built machines with their hands to make our lives eaiser. So, we are all supposed to be happy and comfortable now. Wrong! All I know is that people are struggling and they are still hungry. Prisons are overcrowded and cuts in every flipping sector has been happening. This apparently is our bill too>? Ridiculous.
On a small scale, however, we the little guys have an addiction called gambling that is still a taboo subject that many dont want to admit...It is frowned upon in society..Unless of course you win, then you are a hero! Personally I think that the people should somehow be able to clam back the money just as easily as they relieved us of it. We have been fooled over and over again...I'm not sure they can say anymore that we are responsible for the losses when they have admitted that addiction is a brain disorder according to the DSM!! If I sold d**s and were caught I'd certainly go to prison, there isnt no license for me to sell you it. Who is bloody selling me gambling?
I don't think I've ever heard you so fired up derv but you're looking @ this all wrong. You can't worry about society & society's problems, worry about your own. You're harbouring under the false illusion that you should somehow be given your money back like you were sold a PPI, gambling isn't about the money. If we as active gamblers have money, we s***k it, it's what we do. Being able to reclaim your losses doesn't solve your problem because it doesn't fix what's broken, it's just a green light to go do it all over again with the short lived relief of being able to pay the bills for a while whilst you do it. Lucky we don't go to prison for selling gambling because we sell it to ourselves! The reason your short lived win slipped through the net is because you refuse to accept you have something wrong. Draw a line under your losses, accept that this is not financial & start focusing on you. No-one ever said it was easy, but it is possible - ODAAT
-
Affected by gambling?
Looking for support?
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.