Easy liВЈe/ fast liВЈe Dervkidd

Cant understand how I managed to get like this again. The situation grew upon me, yet again i was fooled. Depression plays a huge part. On the other hand, i can, and will start again. THIS TIME I WIN!!!!!

Derv,

You have come a long way already, because you want to stop, don't be too hard on yourself, if you are 100% committed to your recovery, you can do this,

Breaking the triangle stops any impulsive urges,

Keep strong and keep determined.

Suzanne xx

Thanks,

Today I got paid,

good news is, I paid my way and bought a whopping takeaway for fam....Feeling good and not caring about trying to make anything extra than what I already have....It's the way forward!!!

It sure is the way forward derv, it is the only way we will have money to spend on what matters lol.

Thanks for your message (on my vacant thread lol)

Keep starving it and keep winning

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for the support i wished! Means a lot to me! ......... I constantly find myself picking up the pieces and trying to make sense of the gambling circus that has embraced my life for so long and how it really makes me feel awful. How can a person that has absolutely all the pleasures that a person could want,and more, turn to gambling? What is it that drives us to gamble, more importantly, how can we succeed in stopping for good?

Easy li£e

Hi diary,

I was a naughty boy when I was younger and I guess most of my problems stem from my upbringing. I guess I have had my fair share of issues throughout life. My gambling losses I will say are my debt to society. A way of paying back to whoever, after all money is nothing and was created out of thin air by a machine. Money=debt and debt=money. Therefore we are all going around in circles chasing wealth as if it will make us happy! Sorry to tell you, money will never make you happy, however doing things that require, strength, stamina, love and all the emotions that fulfil our lives without gambling will!

Easy Li£e.

Been feeling like such an idiot today. Losing money I worked hard for. On top of that there are so many other real issues lately it makes this recent gamble feel even worse. I guess burying my head in the sand wont help.

Keep pushing through derv, these negative thoughts will pass, and will make you feel stronger and more positive

Have a good gambling free day.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks for the posts. Best wishes Derv

dervkidd wrote:

Hi diary,

I was a naughty boy when I was younger and I guess most of my problems stem from my upbringing. I guess I have had my fair share of issues throughout life. My gambling losses I will say are my debt to society. A way of paying back to whoever, after all money is nothing and was created out of thin air by a machine. Money=debt and debt=money. Therefore we are all going around in circles chasing wealth as if it will make us happy! Sorry to tell you, money will never make you happy, however doing things that require, strength, stamina, love and all the emotions that fulfil our lives without gambling will!

Easy Li£e.

If only we could stop paying them to a money grabbing company rather than society that might help i suppose, but society bites us in other ways i guess.

thanks for the encouragement derv

Its needed

Tri

Day, 30 feeling positive, i have a rush now nd again about gambling and for a split second i feel as if i have the urge to "get money fast" strange thought... But this quick thinking is definitely the trigger that puts down our gaurd... The gaming companies already know, the psychologists know, the government know and we also know.... But why is nothing done about it?

Stay positive.

Thanks for post Traingle btw,

I felt I had an easy week at work last week, usually , there are problems or issues. However, I still became stressed when I arrived at home. The thing is, I replay the days events and find it winds me up. I realise that overall I don't connect with people very well. Is it because of my unsociable behaviour when I gamble?

Hi Derv,

Gambling does not only take our money (that is a small picture of this addiction) it takes away our social skills in every way too and that does not just include family:))

Your post has made me think back to when I was in the grip of this addiction st work, even in meetings I was miles away worrying myself sick, on the money I had lost the evening before, and already the only thing on my mind was my new plan I had a,ready worked out, through the night in bed, on where I was going to get the money from for chasing my losses.

I put on a big mask at work, even with idle banter with my work colleagues I was not there.

When we stop, I think we realise how much we have lost our social skills, and it can make us feel very stressed indeed, because we (because thoughts of 24/7 gambling ) have now changed course, and leave a big void, so the void at times can then be filled with negative thoughts on how we think we should be now. and it not happening straightaway, so we get a bit defensive, and slightly paranoid lol, because we think we are not fitting in, if this makes sense lol,

This side of our recovery takes time I fact lol every side of recovery takes time, and we will go through different mood swings, every day we feel different, but these low moods and thoughts don't last, don't forget we self destructed our mental well being and this is why I think today, that gambling is very dangerous indeed.

Push through everyday gently, we need to be kind to ourselves every day to keep moving forwards,

Keep abstaining and maintaining, it is the only way to go to get a healthier and saner way of life back.

31 days today well done, you are doing fine.

Suzanne xx

Thanks I wished,

I feel betrayed at work, I have told a friend about my problems and now paranoid that everyone knows. I really felt comfortable telling my problems but unfortunately the person seemed to remember everything and replayed it all back to myself aloud . I felt disturbed and let down that what I had said previously was repeated back to myself. I think that I have told to much and on top of that do not know why this person has acted like this? I am thinking that I have said something horrible somewhere and this is the payback. Either way, I feel down and cant connect with anyone at work because it seems everyone is horrible in some way or other.

By the way, I dont think this is my issue at the moment...However, this may be a side effect of my addiction? (which reinforces I wished comment)

Stay strong.

Hi Diary,

32 days

I have a good feeling today, dont know what it is, but I feel refreshed...32 days in and the further away I get from gambling the better....