Every Day Is A Second Chance

Hi,

Fits of laughter in Norfolk at "trout pout".

Classic

Good vent LB, can relate totally to what you were saying, hey we are mums, we want the very best for our kids, when we have friends like that and all mums have one, the best thing is to say that's nice lol, believe me your child is alot happier than hers, All we really want is for our kids to be happy at the end of the day, and if they excell, that truly is a bonus, be proud of your daughter, because she is happy, normal and not feeling big pressured,

These negative thoughts could also be the addiction at work Hun.

You are doing fine, and it's good to vent on your diary, that's what it's there for:)))

Keep going and as Mrs brown says lol, that's nice :))) because you know better :)))

Suzanne xxx

Hello there ☺

Thank you for your post and did bring some home truths in this mind...hate it lol..but this is reality and as soon as i aknowledge it, i will start moving forward ☺..so thanks again..am not here to promise huge things, but promise to try...not sure what different yet but i am working on it.

re your daughter...as long as you see her happy! What else matters huh? A's? That's usually brings more pressure to the person...and pressure means stress/tiredness/no appetite/lack of sleep and low mood! Here...said it! She is what she is, if you're happy as well as she is who else is there to mind?
My Dad always pushed me to do more homework..i kinda liked it..but only cause it was quality time with someone who cared..i don't have A grades, but i worked hard at something i love with all my heart - English lessons...& here i am - integrating in something i never thought is possible....
The one and only lesson here - you can achieve what you set your mind and heart to! Same with recovery huh...all lessons we cross in life ☺

Keep on winning mrs...you're worth it!

S x

No rants today....I promise 🙂

Feeling remarkably positive and upbeat. Funny how that happens when I'm not gambling 😉 Have got lots of jobs crossed off my list and am off to lunch soon with my walking friends (not walking there, funnily enough...couldn't be arsed!)

My thoughts feel clearer and I'm certain that I've inwardly made big strides towards conquering this. Articles that I've read, suggestions and messages from people have pointed out some helpful things and for that I'm grateful. Feel like a few roadblocks have been cleared. Hurrah!

I keep wondering what I'm running from in addiction and in the last day or two I've identified one of the big things that it could be. It's the thing that my mind returns to whenever the gambling stops and I know that it's there at the back of my mind at all times. It isn't something that can be addressed yet (I really do have to wait until the time is right) but just recognising it and talking about it with my husband and making steps towards a plan has helped lighten the load. It feels as though my shoulders are lighter.

OAU.

LifeBegins x

Great post LB,

OAU indeed :)))

Suzanne xxx

Hi LB,

Thats three old chestnuts not two!

I have been attending for nearly 9 years & havnt met anyone who i know in my day to day life. Only ever seen it happen once with other folk & there must have been a thousand people through the door in my time there.

The Higher Power Thing. People get such a bee in their bonnet about something that basically says accept you cant do it alone.

No professional. GA works for that very reason. Its about engaging & involvement & learning how to come to a healthier way of thinking & living through that process. Of course some groups are stronger than others. But & dont take offence, its a little arrogant to think you will know best even before you have walked through the door. Personally thats the kind of attitude that got me in my mess to start with.

Whereabouts are you i may be able to direct you to a good one. give it a try, whats to lose. No ones going to force you to return.

Dan x

Chomp, chomp, chomp, mmmm tasty 😉 I completely get what you are saying to Dan LB but what do you have to lose 😉 You do have your own mind to sort out the wheat from the chaff & I'm pretty sure you don't have to strip down to your soul on your 1st visit :-0 In my brain (cell) the 'professionals' are teaching from a script but the members are speaking from experience! I'm guessing the people in the know, may well be nervous about me doing this the way I do but I'd rather have an addict in the hole with me than a professional trying to talk me out & no one size fits all! Reading Dr Whojamawotsit tell me I need to quit when I only wanted to control it/stop losing wouldn't have sunk in, reading the same thing from comrades @ arms couldn't be ignored!

Hi Liberty,

Thank you for your warm welcome back ☺
You seem to get your head firmly back on those shoulders & good on you! ..simply cause recovery requires some work and you are doing more than needed homework 😉

Keep up the faith, keep claiming your life back! You're worth it

S x

Maidstone is supposed to be good. If you go, do so with an open mind and a willingness to listen. They may not approach it in the way I or my particular group do. But the underlying message should be the same. Don't expect quick and easy solutions. GA takes time to work as does everything. If you don't like Maidstone try the others, one will fit. Dan x

Thanks for your post LB:))

Hope you are having a good weekend too,

Keep moving OAUs and keep winning,

Suzanne xxx

Not gambling = life is good

Gambling = life is not good

Actually, life is the same either way. It's me within my life that changes either in a positive or a negative way. When I'm not gambling I am present, connected, tolerant, lightheareted, calm, understanding, positive, optimistic, caring....softer and more loving.

When I'm gambling I am disconnected, absent, irritable, distant, intolerant, angy, stressed, distracted....a bit of a cow 🙂

Even if I don't let those feelings show on the outside, that's how I'm feeling inside. It's a lot to carry and I bring it on myself.

I was reading an article by Dr. Phil which states that "people do what works". There is always a payoff or reward for our behaviours. Sometimes they are easy to identify and understand, particularly the positive rewards. It's more difficult to understand when behaviour has negative consequences, such as gambling. However, he maintains we only do things because at some level they work. Even apparantly unwanted behaviours must serve a purpose or else we wouldn't do them. "Identify the payoffs that drive your behaviour. Control the payoffs to control your life"

I feel that I'm making big strides in identifying those payoffs. Unless I get them nailed then all the barriers in the world won't stop me from gambling. Also, I don't want to be stopped by barriers (although they are definitely high right now)....I want to stop because I get to the point when gambling has no interest or hold over me. My aim is to get to a point that I can take it or leave it and I make the choice to leave it.

A work in progress for sure, but slowly moving in the right direction.

LifeBegins x

Hi LB, Good post ! I think the payoff is the ability to keep feeding the habit , if we get out of the habit we don't need the payoff ?.

Answer = Break the habit !

Keep moving in the right direction ! xx

Hi LB,

Good post Hun, and I can certainly identify with it, wait for it lol, you are doing just fine.:)))

Keep strong and keep learning ;)) it's amazing what comes through 🙂

Suzanne xxx

Hey LB,

Thanks for touching the base ☺ always good to hear from ya.
Very good post indeed..."reward for the behaviours"...aha...yup...good or bad , we always get rewarded in a way huh..
I was rewarded with very good day today, the time i have spent was more than any addiction/escape route could offer!
Identifying good and bad is essential!..keep the good coming girl and most importantly - keep recognising it ☺

God bless

Sandra x

Morning LB. just wanted to thank you for all your support , I don't always say it but it really is greatly appreciated ,

I hope you have a great day .........................................Alan x