Every Day Is A Second Chance

Spent the weekend at my mother and father in-laws. Whilst there, I was reminded of a previous visit...the only opportunity to gamble was when I was in the bathroom. I repeatedly locked myself in for a ching playing on my phone ( they must have thought I had extreme constiaption I was in there so long!) At the start of that weekend I had a big win, which of course I couldn't tell anyone about, and by the end of the two days it had all gone plus another £500. I can even remember taking my phone into the shower and propping it up on the soap rack so that I could reset the autoplay after the 50 spins had elapsed. Absolute f*****g madness! Thankfully, these are the only thoughts I'm getting about gambling right now. Flashbacks to times when I used to do it, and a real understanding of the pointless futility of it all.

I'm very fortunate to have such a lovely set of in-laws. My husband's family are all good, solid, dependable people and I really am grateful that they are a part of my life. None of your over priced bunches of flowers or expensive boxes of chocolates for my mother and father in law on valentines day. Instead, I watched this slightly unsteady 85 year old man take the arm of his even more unsteady and increasingly confused wife of 62 years and gently walk her out to the car. They drive each other mad at times I'm sure, and he has the patience of a saint with her forgetfullness, but to me it was truely an example of love in action. Such a little thing, but I really hope that when me and my hubby are in our dotage we'll still want to hold hands and be kind towards each other.

Feeling very mellow today.

LifeBegins x

Nice LB,

Good and not so good thoughts shape us....

Have a mellow day and feed a pony or squirrel enroute....

https://youtu.be/64mb_hUOb4g

They call it yellow mellow.....

Hi LB and thank's ! . I'm pleased you also had a great weekend and may all your trips to the loo only involve you spending a penny and not the hunreds of pounds in the day's of old ! LOL ! .

Take care x

Good morning!

Yes, that's right - goood mooornniinnggg ☺

Slept well, thank you and reaping the benefits of clear head 🙂
Awweeee...that's such a sweet post about your in-laws and i am sure you & your husband facing to the same direction of unity, happiness and love even if you won't remember your name ☺. The look in the eyes outweighs the words and any complications person has.

Good to hear you feel mellow (should translate this word but assume it's positive one 😉 ) and wish you an amazing day!

Keep winning and smiling

Hi LB , just caught your last post to Loxxie and WoW ! , where did that language come from ? , I thought you were at home yesterday having a lovely valentines day ,but obviously it was in a dockside bar in Portsmouth with drunken sailors ? LOL ! LOL! .

Glad you keep me guessing ! x

Thanks for dropping by LB:))

The thing is this development will take around two years to be completed, jeez they are building 62 new houses, and 98% are going to be detached, yes it would be nice to wait for this to be finished, but we have already had our house on the market for 7 months:((, I am a CG, lol,,being patient for at least another 2 years is a bit too much ohh lol:))

We are well ready to sell and downsize, life is just too short as we get older (meaning me ) we will sell it one way or another (after painting ofcourse)

Thanks for your positive though full post my friend,

Hope you are just keeping just fine :)) by keeping just fine.

Keep strong girl and keep thst guard tightly up, xx

Suzanne xxx

Hey there "Potty mouth " just wondering if you couldn't pop around to Suzanne's and use some of your old Irish verbal reasoning skills on the builders ? LOL ! They might understand your language ?

Get with the ages Alan. Your probably going to come across a Victor, Christov, Igor or even a Paul. Our Irish cousins have had enough of us.. Saying that there's still a international builders language beginning with f and usually ending with g or k.

Sorry on behalf of Alan LB, for his valgarability(?)

Oh yeah ! Sorry I forgot there all experts within there field nowadays ! What's that about ex meaning something that has been and spurt a drip under pressure ? Present company excepted Paul !

Now then lads, I may say the odd f**k or jeeesus but to insinuate that I'd be at home on a building site is taking the mick (!). Hail Mary, mother of god, there's no way I could carry a hod of bricks...I'd be frightened of my life that I'd break a f*****g nail!

Now, to be sure, enough of all this gobsh.ite...bye,bye,bye,bye,bye,

o*g LB :-0

I know exactly what you mean. I have been b****h and i am very aware that no matter what i say now, is not gonna change the outlook i created about myself while being such a div.
...all i can say, please don't be scared to come by and express yourself. You certainly do not have to, i know it's not the same, so don't fear when you don't know/want anything to say...it's absolutely fine ☺. Besides, i guess all the tough love i had on here finally start sinking in...so i owe you a big fat thank you ☺

I am not sacked hun (yet), just not fit for work...am not evwn stressing over it surprisingly so all is ok.

Hope your recovery is going well, you're looking after yourself to your best ability and reaping the rewards life offers every day.

Look after yourself and i wish you well

S x

Feeling ok today. Quite a lot of thinking time at the moment, so trying not to let it overwhelm me....None of it really to do with me but I always seem to find myself going over other people's worries/problems. I know it's not always good for me and I do try to balance it. The ups and downs of people's lives on here can weigh heavily at times....nothing to do with me, but I find myself wanting to advice,support, empathise...really I should probably mind my own business. Trying to advise/support family members and not get too involved...it's their lives after all.Then a long talk with my dearest friend who's husband died fairly recently ( 2 young kids). It's heartbreaking to hear and see such raw emotion and I so want to be able to say it will be ok, but of course I can't because it won't...life will forever be different and those poor kids will always be the ones whose daddy died. I also watched the documentary Simon's choice, about the chap with MND who chose to go to Switzerland for an assisted suicide. My god, I started to cry and didn't think I would stop...to have to face that, and the bravery the couple showed, and the sheer terribleness of life sometimes...then the Stephen Fry documantary which was interesting and informative but somehow again made me feel a bit low. What sort of a society do we live in that people are judged and laughed at in the way that the young chap who was singing on the tube was...and the poor girl who ended up in a wheelchair? Jesus...I was left with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that that wasn't my life mixed with a level of shame that I have so much to be grateful for and yet I can still have days when I don't fully appreciate it.

My husband reminded me the other day that one of my recurring phrases a few years ago was "life is just one long,endless trudge to an inevitable death". I am grateful that I no longer feel like that.

LB x

Hai LB. Thanks for your post. Agreed regarding sad, it's something I'm comfortable with sometimes as long as it doesn't go on too long.

Agreed, other people's lives can weigh heavily on our own. But in truth I think it's just about being a caring human. Never, think you shouldn't offer your point of view. What I've always read from you are always very valid and it really doesn't matter how they come across as long as the intention is there.

Never did see the documentary mentioned above. Society can be cruel bur that usually stems from someone's own unhappiness, when they start picking out fault/ disabilities from others.

Off on a tangent here but I've been a prosphetic user for 20 odd years but I find myself quite often not being able to talk to other amputees. Sometimes I'm ok, other times I avoid. It did make me think of something funny to me. One of my best friends had a bike accident many moons ago and had to have his hand restructured with many grafts from his ar.se. He's forever having to give his ar.se hand a shave and I hate shaking his hand which he knows, hence forever doing it.

Was wondering how that detox diet went and what it was actually called you've been doing? Curiosity. ..

Hey again,

Thanks for dropping by...i actually had a little throwing my toys outta pram party lol...only cause felt very so guilty for my personality :-(...kinda "bad bad Sandra!" ..but all is ok now, we cannot change us 100% can we...& we need all "sorts" in this world else it would be boring place to be huh

My main problem is and always has been - not feeling worthy of other's care. Not sure if that makes sense (V...throphy plzzzzzz 😉 ) but i have a strong feeling of pushing good people away from me...esp when I'm low, i am used to go lower without helping hand bk up...i guess that's just the way i grew up & now it's hard to break the habit and see that people means "good" and genuinely cares ☺..it's not poor poor me line, maybe...i am trying to keep on top of "pain" ..to myself & others by my words. Again..struggle to explain myself here but sometimes i think I'm better off by myself which if being honest hurts me.

re us walking similar paths. Maybe...what's your story? ;-)...i think we had very similar reactions to situations in our lives. Just my thoughts..there are people on here you relate to straight away, maybe spooky but maybe words/ sentences can tell more if you read into them deeply..just my thoughts again lol.
I think your story (as far as you already opened up) is really sad/challenging/ emotional. I have a lot of respect and sympathy for you. Again, maybe just those emotional traits I'm noticing but you deffo didn't have a life of roses so far.

Am very pleased you found your way forward tho & i know what you mean by trying to say the right things esp if they worked for you! Too right...i would be the same so never hold back with your wisdom ☺

I don't know you & you don't know me...but we know our feelings and that's what makes you think "something about you i relate"...
..ha!!! Look at this "proffesor" Sandra :-D...a bit of phylosophy going on huh.
Aha! While I'm on the lines. I did see proffesor psychologist back home on one of my holidays. She was (or maybe just come across) high class lady knowing what she is talking about. I went to see her every day for 5 days (had to go bk here...saying that, i did delay my flight by two days cause of that) but on the last session i made my mind up to come bk home and study. She said some powerful stuff (that time i was lost and heavy on weed) which changed my mindset completely...however, you know the story from here lol...i met my ex on my return...bahhhhh & all plans crashed down.

Therapists are good sources on an attempt to look at yourself from every angle. I am not saying no to such help once more..I'm just acting on little advice here and there and will go from there.
Nothing ventured nothing gained huh 🙂

It's easy to get in other's lives and emotions and esp on here so please girl, try and find the balance because you and only you matter the most! Never forget that ☺

And yep, Sesuo is tough case lol...i have to thank stars for her still being by my side because my words hurt her before and even if her view about me changed since then, she is d**n good actor if keeping that mask on and pretending all is good lol...or just maybe - she ignores my rants half of time, which is the right thing to do when i get crashing down and start hating the world :-/

Wow!!!! Look at that!
Good to speak and thank you for reading!
You are doing amazing so please be proud of yourself cause I'm so so proud of you!

Now go and bath the pony lol...

S x

I know beauty sleep helps, but girl 48hrs straight!! :-0 ..i expect ya to wake up 15 again! Lol

How is it going dear soldier? Hope all is good in your world ☺

S x