Exhausted everything

Day 11 - Gambling free by my choice

I am feeling low today, the realisation of my debts and the problems I am going to have to face in the future has hit hard today. I am also struggling with mood and depression is hitting me hard. I managed to get out of town and get home as I was not in a good place and it is easier to relapse when feel that way.

Hi Buddy :))

You know the money can all be repaid over time right ? and as recovery's for life so what's the rush ? .

I have about ten more years gambling under my belt than you , so I kinda know how you feel being that bit older and realising what a waste those years have been and also what we could have done with that money had we stopped sooner , it's a hard thing to think about so I alway's go with the advice I was given early on that " I'ts fine to look back but don't stare " .

Your mood and depression are all as a result of gambling's carnage I imagine ? so I'm sure with time it's going to ease off , the secret to this is to be proactive and tackle things head on , I'm not saying your going to sort out your life or the way you feel overnight but one small thing a day or week will clear stuff from your to do list and allow a little more room for good thought's to enter your mind

Have you shared your problems with anyone , family, friend's or spoken with your GP regarding the way you feel or spoken with anyone regarding debt ?

Keep pushing forward my friend one day at a time :))

All the best for now

Day 12 - Gambling free by my choice

Hi A 9, I have been honest and shared my gambling problems with family and with health professionals who are helping me with my mental health issues. My depression and anxiety is partly through gambling but also linked to other events in my life. What I have realised, is that I tried to escape unpleasant memories/thoughts and emotions/feelings which felt too much, by gambling in the past. Any escape was only for those brief seconds of the bet, the issues were still there and were now magnified as there was also the devestation that a gambling session had on life, not just financially but on my mental health. I am now trying to realise that the urge is to escape a cause of emotional distress, so to now face this distress and try to cope with it in a healthier way. I appreciate your advice to look forward, it can be different to the past.

Hi again :))

I think to some extent we all have thing's in our lives that make us run to gambling's open arm's , it's non judgemental and give's you that rush that just for a moment makes you forget your trouble's and that's why it can be so dammed difficult to let go of .

It's a cycle we become accustomed to " Pain , loss, reward " ?

I'm glad that your getting outside help and support from your family which is so important in beating this addiction and it's all any of us can do face thing's in front of us one day at a time .

Wishing you well on your continuing journey :))

Alan

Day 27 - Gambling free by my choice

I have remained abstinent form gambling, I have just not been writing as a ixture os technical problems preventing me from getting online and also battling a severe drop with depression. being free from gambling does not fix everything and stopping does make me see the causes and things I have been trying to escape. I can only hope that accepting there are these aissues I have been hiding from behind gambling, means I can do something about them. There are things in my life I need to work on to try be happy, I also need to try overcome these other issues with self-image and worth that frive depression and anxiety.