First day to end this addiction

Just checking in to let off steam really, am really chuffed to be on day 58 and as time passed gambling is losing its grip in my life. But had a bit of a reality check, I live in rented accommodation but really want to move on to the property ladder. Do just flicking through some estate agent websites saw a similar house and the mortgage is less than my rent! This had given me a real aim because I know if I hadn't started gambling I could be a home owner by now. ..sad times but a solid goal for the future. I feel I have finally got my brain back and thinking logically rather than the whole cycle of 'you could win, keep depositing, run out of money, regret, worry, self loathing etc Obviously it isn't just about money, just being well in your head and being at peace with yourself is what we all want. Have a great GF weekend S 🙂

Thanks M and M!! Am now on day 60 so am really happy most of the time but certainly have flashes of deep regret etc. Hope you both are well and GF take care S 🙂

So today is pretty grim, P***ing down with rain and at work alone. Pre gamcare I would have blown 50/100/contents of account on online slots and ended up feeling even worse. I probably check in 3-4 times a day really just to keep on track and not feel isolated. I know it will take a good few years to sort out my finances and it's gonna be tough but sometimes I flash back to how the gambling cycle made me feel and this is a zillion times better knowing that one day I will be on an even keel knowing that I have put the effort in and left gambling behind for good. But like everyone else this journey has highlighted personal issues when ultimately I thought it was about money...error no !! So I'm addressing the other stuff to secure a GF future. Over and out, take care S 🙂

Hey Sharon.

Just wanted to say a huge congratulations on your 60th day g.f!! Two pay days. Here's to your next milestone ahead of you, the classic 90 days - 3 months g.f. I'm just about coming up to it myself.

Take care. Stay strong and continue to enjoy the rewards and peace of mind of remaining abstinent.

Our Lady

Thanks so much Our Lady, actually feel like different person to the one at the start of this journey. I was on edge 24/7 worrying about my actions and the consequences. But now even though it'S a long road, every morning I wake and know I have no regrets from the night before etc, Congrats on nearly 90 days, amazing.....have a great GF week take care S:)

Thanks Sharon. You too!

Gamcare I missed you!! Had a massive reality check today, am in debt which is part and parcel of most people's gambling. Unfortunately I had a visit from a bayliff today and honestly I have never been so scared in my life. Luckily I could pay up (council tax arrears) but a couple of months ago I would have been screwed Although today was awful if I had still been gambling it may very well have tipped me over the edge mentally.....I haven't had any counselling but I think it may be wise. Gambling it seems is the tip of iceberg so if I can make peace about other issues I'm more likely not to relapse?! Well I had no one else to share this with, as always so thanks for listening, Enjoy the rest of this sunny evening S :

Hey Sharon :)).

It's nice to have Gamcare back to vent on isn't it :)).

Not so good news about the ballifs visit but great news you had the funds to get rid of them and thankfully abstaining from gambling's given you that ability to sort things out :)) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I think we all need to delve a little deeper from time to time and as you said " If it brings you some peace " then some councilling's gotta be good thing :)).

Your doing great Sharon ,just keep pushing forward One day at a time 🙂

Alan x

Thanks Alan, yep it was pretty scary and was a stark reminder of the awful place gambling has lead me too, but has highlighted even more why I can never gamble again. Gamcare and the people on here gave literally been my saviour, if I hadn't had the money today they would have lifted items from my house. Indeed I don't think I have had peace of mind or felt totally relaxed since I started gambling 5/6 years ago, what a waste of life. But I have worked out on a strict budget I will be debt free in 18 months, so I'm going for it!!! Thanks again Alan, take care S 🙂

Evening Sharon,

Good to read that life is still getting back on track for you, so glad the days are still adding up and your ok, don't over commit on your repayment plan it's better to take a few extra months and be able to reward yourself along the way than just been focused on getting it all paid off.

Keep safe

Hi there Screwball, thanks for posting 🙂 sure, I am already feeling the benefits of not throwing money away and will repay debts but make sure we are comfortable. Great to hear your doing well to, I take my hat off to you for putting your boys first and making sure they're happy. I wish my daughters father was as considerate as you but hey ho you can't have it all!. Take care and enjoy a GF week S 🙂

Blimey this week is a real thought provoker. After the bayliff incident Monday, the awful news in Manchester then this morning my Dad popped by to say he had found his neighbour had passed away aged 49 🙁 He is usually pretty black and white about things and just said 'Do what makes you happy as you never know what the next day will bring' So without being morbid I take that to heart and intend to make the most of things and top of the list is to remain GF to enjoy my life. Although I am still in debt and worry over the past I know if I stay GF there really is no more I can do. Have a top GF day everyone, take care S 🙂

Hi Sharon. Your dad makes a very valid point! Thousands of people are in debt. You and I are paying ours back and no matter how small, that's all that matters. Life is just too short and too precious to constantly worry about it so we just need to live it. If we do so without gambling, things can only get better.

Enjoy today for what it is and be proud that you remain g.f.

Take care.

Our Lady

Here here Our Lady and thank you as always for your encouraging words and support, I know I would be in the same black hole if it wasn't for this site and it'S members. Take care S 🙂

How's it going Sharon?