I have already posted in the new member forum so won't repeat myself and my history, basis is I have lost my inheritance over several years and I am currently £7500 in debt, I am going to be using this diary to hopefully explain how I'm feeling and how I am coping and hopefully how without gambling I am clawing back my debt the correct way.
I am currently on day 7 on no gambling don't feel as awful when I signed up here but have been at this point many times and I know I'm only one click before finding a new site to gamble on.
I have been in the chat rooms and they have helped and will continue to attend these.
My main aims are the following:
1. Stop gambling
2. Be able to look myself in the mirror without hating myself
3. Be able to be honest with the people I love
4. Reduce my debt in a sensible way
5. Use my time better with my family
Afternoon welcome to the recovery diaries section.
Well done for admitting that your life had become unmanageable through your commitment to feeding addiction.
All five of your goals are achievable with a commitment to change.we all live by a mantra whilst active
I cannot win because I cannot stop.
With abstinence you turn it upside down.
Abstain and maintain.
Duncs
Thank you Duncs 🙂
I slipped I don't even know how I let myself 🙁 day 1 again tomorrow, downloading the blocking tools now, what is best for iPhone
Urges very high, the idea that a win can fix all and having to accept the money is really gone and that by not gambling I have accepted that, that is my motivation for gambling I can see that now.
One day at a time Christopher just concentrate on one day at a time, if you stop there will be an end if you gamble you don't know where that end is.
My last gamble was Thursday, my rock bottom as well! 2500. Not sure how that happened. Anyway, debt now 10,000. The money has gone. I've been here lots of times before but this amount has scared me so much and made me realise money means nothing, it was the buzz. No more. Good luck.
Hope you find the strength to fight your urges. They will pass. Sending you the courage to ride it out. Stay strong.
Your words are helping thank you
Found today extremely hard not 100% why, I think it's my brain accepting again the position it's in and the little voice saying you can win it back again, called gamcare, it's helped a bit, on me to last the rest of the night.
It's great you called gamcare. Only a few more hours and another day will have passed.
Is there anything you can do now have a bath, read a book, watch a movie, get an early night. Tomorrow will soon be here and you'll feel good knowing you managed to get through an extremely hard day.
I made it pass the night!
Slepted and woke up feeling better not waking up on another loss.
Glad you got through it!!! Glad you are feeling better. Here's to another day gf 🙂
Feeling this is an uphill struggle, contemplated dark thoughts, had a couple of gambling days again, I feel like I can't control this anymore, on day 2 but in even more debt, added two more months to clear my debt of, as soon as I start feeling strong I let myself down and think just a little gamble make life a bit easier and every time I end up in a worse position. I need to make a commitment to myself to post every day, im not looking sympathy I did this, let this post be another reminder that I can come back and read to myself the next time the urge is there.
Spent a lovely evening with my son, I miss being me, has felt like a long time since I felt normal and in control, today has been a good day
No gambling today, had urges but not acted on it this time, instead enjoyed time with my family, much better use of time
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
