For my future

Hi Sparks,

Welcome back to the site and, having read our story, it's clear to see you understand the familiar pattern that has brought you back (as I also know all too well...) but, that said, you sound like you're coing back stronger this time. And that's important, as you've made clear by time you're now spending contemplating what's happened, and where you go from here.

First things first. You've said you don't feel like giving up your finances because you're not in debt and your bank balance is OK. But let me let you into a little secret - I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have debt, and have a regular income ... BUT - how much better life would be for my family if I didn't gamble so much. Sounds familiar? It might be worth considering handing over your finances to a trusted loved one or friend for a while; it's worth a thought. Don't look at it as a weakness or emasculating in any way; looking at it as a strength, a consideration for others and something that you may find helps you. It's a thought anyway!

Certainly it looks like certain life events are causing you stress and, again, you're right, gambing has been a bit of escapism for your troubles, but, invariably gambling ultimately makes things worse; not just financially (which is bad enough), but the time wasted and also how different we appear to our loved ones when we invariably lose (it's never nice for them).

Here's a suggested strategy for you. Tomorrow, go GF-free. That's it! One simple thing. See how the day goes. Take time, as you are doing, to continue to reflect. Work out in your head how much you spent last month on gambling. Multiply it by 12. Think about what those thousands (yep) could buy you, and your loved ones. Think positively about what's possible as you start what could be a really great gambling-free journey actually!

But one day at a time, and tomorrow's in the cross-hairs. No gambling tomorrow.

What about the day after tomorrow? I'd be keen to hear your thoughts if you'd like to post them. I think you know what you need to do, but you'll know how you're feeling. I'm behind you all the way, by the way, as are a lot of people that read these diaries and will have read your post. You're not alone!

All the best Sparks - the future that you want, the future you're looking for, the future you can have, starts today.

Hello Sparks,

I am incredibly new to this site (tonight) and am also in the process of quitting smoking (im vaping though, seems to be working better thanother methods i have tried before).

I am starting tomorrow, things will improve from then. I wish you all the best on this. Slots are also my thing...sadly.

Hi Mixer,

Thanks for the reply, the issue with my finances is awkward as i live on my own & run my own business so giving control of it all to someone will be hard, my parents are getting on a bit & don't need the hassle, as they have there own health issues to get on with and i need access to my accounts to run my business. Cash is also a around alot as people, particularily customers who are elderly tend to pay for jobs in cash, so i hande money on a daily basis & you are correct it is stress in my life's activities that seem to trigger my return to the slots, usually when i get overwhelmed with life and i need an escape, maybe this is something i need to look at, a bit more organisation & stability in my life, not constant caos.

Sparks

Hi Xenedra,

Thanks for the comment, slots are the devils work, worst thing ever was winning two £250 jackpots in same night at wmc when i was 18, My addiction grew from there & knocking around with like minded people didn't help, by the time I was 23 I was heavily in debt with loans & credit cards probably around 15K in 2000, but managed to clear it, but once i was o.k the draw of the slots kept calling & up until yesterday I would answer it but no more.

Good luck with your journey,

Sparks

Well Diary It's over 24 hours since I last entertained the Slots, and no urges really just the usual thoughts of how foolish & stupid I have been again, wasting my money & time, the time is probably the most important thing as I need to catch up with alsorts of work & home related stuff, but the money could have definetly been spent on better things.

Although I said I would stop smoking today I have had one cigarette, stopping off the cigs in the first few days is always hard & I am sort of pleased at having just 1 cig today, tommorow hopefully none.

Another night of quite contemplation is in order to come up with a good plan for handling my finances, going to call banks and ask if they can remove or lower the limit for cash withdrawl on all my cards, realistically if they can i will remove the function on all account cards & credit cards apart from one account that will have a £50/day limit on it & going to look at self excluding in most arcades of a10 mile radius although i think it is futile as the machines are everywhere pubs, clubs, amusements & bingo halls so if i want to gamble, it's available somewhere.

onwards with the next 24 hours, hopefully smoke & gamble free

Sparks

Sparks - is your business big enough you could employ someone else to handle all payments or could you look at changing your billing - collect less frequently but then plan in so you head straight to the bank afterwards?

Hi compulsive gambler,

It would not work, as some clients pay by bacs, some by cheque and others by cash, you can never plan for going to bank as some jobs are easier than thought so are quicker, on the otherhand are jobs that can over run by a hour or sometimes the next day, throw in call out's & traffic and any plans for the day usually go to pot, i also would not want to give anyone free reign on my business and accounts, been had over once before by a so called business partner so never again.

Sparks

Well it's the end of day 2 gamble free & first day with out a cig, no real urges to gamble at all, never even thought about it, probably my minds been on having a cig all day and boy could I have done with one. From start to finish today has got worse, from waking up tired & later than i like, then to one job been cancelled, another job taking far longer than expected & faults occuring that were a nightmare to pin point and for some reason everyone seems to get on my nerves today, well tomorrow is another day, thank the lord. Busy again in the morning going out looking at some jobs, then maybe something to eat in the evening so hopefully will avoid the usual weekend idea of visiting the arcade.

Well hopefully another 24 hours of no gambling & smoking awaits me

Sparks

Hi Sparks

As they say, it never rains but it pours, but you're doing the right thing, through gritted teeth, making sure that whatever issues you are going through aren't going to be made worse and magnified through gambling.

So great to read you're planning another GF day tomorrow. One less distraction, more money in your pocket, more time to spend on more necessary and worthwhile matters. In other words a much better day ahead for you with a clearer head giving you the best chance of a good day.

With you, shoulder to shoulder.

Mixer

Well it's a week since I last gambled, and not had any urges, wish I could say the same for the smokes been on 20 a day since weekend after going on a bit of a night out, going to give them the boot after the bank holiday weekend.

Well hopefully another 24hrs gamble free tomorrow, it should work out that way as I am run off my feet with work for the next few weeks & away at a festival for weekend so there should be little chance of me even contemplating playing the slots.

Hats off to you Sparks trying to kick to big habits all in one go. The gambling seems to be going well and I'm sure you will get there with the smoking. I'm now 20 days GF, although early days, I feel so much better for it!

We can do this !!

Well that's another 24 hrs gamble free

Hopefully another 24hrs to come

Not been on in a while, just had a good bank holiday weekend & been busy with work, not managed to kick the cigs yet, but will try again next week.

Here's to another 24 hrs gamble free

Still not kicked the smoking habit, but managed to stay gamble free for 19 days. Although this weekend I had several thoughts of the playing the slots, but managed to resist all urges & thoughts and when i think about it, it only occurs when i'm at a loose end, so I'm going to keep myself busy from now on.

Heres to tomorrow been another day free of playing the bandits