fresh start

Working every hour god sends to get me self back on track money wise. It makes you wonder why do we do it. For 1 hour of gambling stupidly and probably not even hour im having to work 50 hours a week just to keep me head above water. Very silly

Hey Graeme,

Thank you so much for the post on my diary fellah.

Sounds like things not too good? Come on mate, no matter how many times you give in there is always that one time you will find the strength..come on buddy you know the song...M People....Search for a hero.......Thats you....We can do this together...we did before and can again!

Womble xxxx

Hi boro,

Haven't read your diary before. Just having a look at whoever is on the top, with a spare ten minutes.

I'm very sorry for your pain. It sounds like you have a lot of different sources of upset, coming from all sides at the moment. I understand the feeling of wanting to "escape", to get some small amount of pleasure the only way you know how at the moment, by gambling.

In my experience, it really does make it harder for you in the long run to try and do "controlled gambling". If you are several thousand pounds in debt, I sense that you may not have much control where gambling is concerned. Nor have I. Any gambling activity triggers the urges for me, and it really can get away from you before you know it.

You probably know this stuff already, but healthier ways to get through the pain can really help, like exercising, crying if you can to let it out, expressing yourself - whether that be in a support group like GA, singing, writing, art - whatever feels most natural. It can make all the difference to just keep letting the steam out of the pressure cooker, bit by bit. I can relate to feeling like letting it all out at once would feel too much. Overwhelming. But there really is value in letting out a little bit here, and a little bit there. Taking your frustrations out on a punchbag, going for a long walk in the woods. Whatever works best for you.

I wish you all the very best of luck.

Take care,

f x

Cheers sue and Freda appreciate your comments

Things are not good sue but things have been a lot worse

Well debt going down but had a blip this morning lost 145 nothing to what I have lost in past but it hurts just as much as if I had lost thousands. I must stop all gambling because in the end im like a volcano small rumbles then a massive eruption with me losing everything. Its pretty much a certainty while im gambling small amounts its going to lead to me losing every penny eventual

GOT TO STOP KNOW DONE IT BEFORE SO CAN DO IT AGAIN

DEBT LOAN 6200

OVERDRAFT 1500 AT THE MINUTE

MAM 300

Hi pal , its good to know things are not at there worst , yes you have lost 145 this morning and you might feel like you have let youself down , but look at it this way , i have not gambled for a bit but just before i completley stopped i had little blipps but i noticed the amounts i lost while trying to stop gambling got smaller and smaller, and the blipps got less and less , as i like you used to loose thousands at a time , i once lost 17 to 18 hundred in about ten mins , probably my lowest and most scariest point although that made me look at myself and realise i actually had a problem , but still went on to gamble more, but the more i tried to stop the less oftern the blipps and the less costly the blipps were , so my point to you is your amounts you loose and how oftern you have a blipp are getting less and less and that is progress so dont beat yourself up over this morning look to it as a positive that you only lost 145 when you could of lost more . keep your chin up i know its hard, but your not on your own

Well lost another 1200 this afternoon so im in the /////. Up the creek without a paddle.

dood you seriously should try to speak to gam care or GA i think they would help you put it in perspective , all the best simon

Tryer could not believe I had done it again. So I phoned every online account I had and excluded myself from them I,m already band from all the local betting shops but I no I can still go in which is a bad thing. Im more determined this time than I have ever been to stop gambling

Debt 6200

overdraft 2500

mam 300 + 300

Debt still manageable as long as I keep off gambling but still feel like cr**

Hi Graeme,

Sorry you are going through hell mate, It's so hard to break the cycle but once you do then life will improve. Come on ...you don't want this for the rest of your life eh?

You have done the right thing by closing accounts but as the previous poster said maybe you need some more support....Hey what have you got to loose......I have faith in you!

Sue x

Boro

Fella sorry to read you went back at it,the results of an episode of gambling plain to see over the past two pages of your thread,not only the self loathing,the self appointed mind f**k but the financial loss to boot.

The mantra for us the same

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP

the itch if it get's scratched through going back at it will result in nothing but sh#it coming in many forms.

Learn a harsh lesson fella,keep the memories of the loss fresh,use them to poke two fingers up to gambling.

Well done on the self excluding,this has been a very powerful tool for me in my quest to erradicate gambling from my life.

You cannot change what has happened,don't beat yourself up too much,move on.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

No sue I don't want this for the rest of my life I have to consider what im putting my family and myself through. At the moment im going through mental torture because I have relapsed to many times. The things I have lost through gambling are irreplaceable like being they full time with my daughter and the woman I loved, money is replaceable. But I still continued to gamble even after losing all this, you would think that would have learned me a lesson but it didn't.

But got more blocks in place this time so this time surely I can do it.

I have had quite a lot of counciling sessions sue in the past but at the end of day its down to you to stop.

Your right duncanmac they not a truer saying. I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP that's totally me

Day 4 no gambling long may it continue

like the new determination in your posting, well done and lets keep it up together

Hey, Thats the bloke I know....freekin' love it Grahame.....Them days will add up.

Totally made up mate!

Love Sue xxxxxxx

Yeah going to stay focused this time tryer. Not going to say to myself that I can still gamble on horses or a fiver wont hurt on roulette because I cant gamble because even if I won its just a loan in the end you give it back and a lot more