Gambling or happiness, because you can't have both

Wow very good explanation and well done a nd good luck for going cold turkey

Wow reading your post was like looking in the mirror. I will draw strength from your quote 'whats 1 year compared to a lifetime of happiness' thank you.

Hello MugLife

I have read your post and I can relate exactly what you're going through. I am 31 days gf as I speak, I'm really pleased with that and your post headline 'gambling or happiness' hits the nail right on the head. I too have chosen the path of happiness instead of that horrible self hurting disease of gambling. I have lost a lot of money over the past couple months, but I was 'found out' by my fiancГ©e and has caused her so much pain, heartache and anger. I don't know if I'm going to be lucky enough to keep her. We are still together but she says she needs time. I see that she doesn't look at me in the same way, so I think it's inevitable that this relationship is going to end. All I can ask myself is why? Why do it to her? Why put her through this? She loved me in every way possible and would have done anything for me.She doesn't deserve it as she is the most loving big hearted person I've ever known and it kills me inside looking at her having caused her this pain. I am pleased she found out but just wish it was sooner. I hope and pray everyday that she will forgive my addiction. I have had no urge to gamble again , nor do I want to. In fact I hate the thought of it. I wish you luck on your journey.

Nev

wow, sorry to hear that Nev. Maybe you need to let her into your thoughts on here, prove to get your on the right track. Gambling is just as much an addiction as drugs or alcohol and is so hard to avoid. If she sees that you were in a really dark place she may be able to forgive.

Hi WilliamsEight9

Thanks for your reply. I have taken the the right steps i.e. Self excluded for online sites, the shops, awaiting councillor meeting. Ive changed my perspective on life by keeping my mind occupied by exercise, running, dog walking etc. Things I know I never did enough of when I was I my own little bubble of gambling. I used to always have cash on me but now I pay for almost everything by card so I can prove it with my bank statements. I feel I cannot do much more, she sees this and I've told her that no matter how we look at it I can't change the past,I can only control what happens now and the future. She's away visiting family this weekend and has said she needs this time apart to clear her head. Thing is, if I lose her I lose everything. I just hope she can forgive me, I know it will never be forgotten but if she can see past this I promised her I would love her everyday and show her that I can be the man she fell in love with everyday like she deserves. That's the only thing on my mind, this would be my biggest win in life, hoping and praying.

Any other advice would be appreciated on here.

Nev

Day 2.

I thought about that boy again when I woke up this morning, crazy really. I know this new found feeling won't last forever, but hopefully it pushes me through long enough that I no longer see the virtue in gambling. It's destructive and this is my chance to get out, for good. I think to myself, 'what if I just placed some ante-posts for the season and that's it' but that's too da heroes now. I've proven that eventually, no matter how in control I get, or how smooth I think it's going, the next disastrous potentially marriage wreaking blow out session is always lerking in the shadows. So cold turkey is the only way it can be.

I've been on my own a lot again today as I'm travelling back home which finishes with a 6 hour coach journey, that's a lot of time to think about stuff. I keep trying to picture the future, a future where I don't think about how much I've wasted, or what games are on tonight that I can bet on. A future where I can just enjoy sport for what it is once again, and not what it has become, a potential money maker or fueller of hatred on the world.

I would definitely have had a bet on Wimbledon yesterday, I've had a few already and pretty much lost them all as I kept getting greedy. But this got me thinking, I'll never forget my blow out loss, but how long would it take before that loss was nullified by what I would of bet over time. So I downloaded a stop smoking app (only thing I could of) and put in how much I think I spend on gambling. I've probably slightly underestimated it but it's an average as I normally bet quite a bit then not for a while, not through choice but because I'm penniless until payday. This way I can visually see myself slowly clawing back the money. I'd still be gambling if not for the blowout so hopefully, as painful as the next 6 months will be I'll soon be able to start seeing the positive impact that loss will have on the rest of my life.

This is just week 1, day 2. Urges will come and battles will need to be won, but I'm no longer doing it for me. Every time,e I look at my wife I'll know I'm doing this for her, for our live together, and that will hopefully be enough to win this war.

Thanks

Paul

Setting up the smoking app was a great idea, it shows clearly how much I'm slowly starting to claw back of my losses.
I still can't believe how much I lost. I've managed it so that the only place I owe money to now is the savings for our house which I have 18 months to replace which is plenty of time. That sounds like I'm trying to justify it, but it's the best way I find to handle it. I've recovered most of what I put on my credit card but that also will require more hard work to get back to before that fateful night.

my wife was moaning about money when I got home yesterday and it broke my heart thinking about what I could have got for her with that money I lost. But the app will slowly but surely shoe the recovery im making and with the money in no longer spending on gambling, I can view my loss as a loan that will be paid back in 12 months.
I can't wait to get to that point although right now it seems so far away.

I haven't been even the slightest bit tempted to vote yet, but that's because my wounds are still very deep.

Only time will tell how hard this will be, but for now, I'm adamant I'm winning, for my wife, as I've said all along.

Thanks
Paul

3 days gamble free, into day 4. Changed my app from a smoking one (which was all I could find at the time) to 'Quitzilla' allows you to Taylor it to gambling and shows the same data than the smoking one.
I'm feeling positive today, have the morning at home together with my wife and were getting excited about holiday, sorting through clothes and looking online for what we need to buy.
I saw a nice pair of shorts, £20. I can almost afford that with what I've saved not gambling.

I'm still viewing life much more positively and for the first time yesterday I had a thought to myself that said "when the football season comes round, you might actually achieve this".

I'm excited to claw all my losses back, minute by minute and in 1 year from now, look back and think, I've done it.

Thanks
Paul

Well done WilliamsEight9

Keep up the good work. This next week is going to be the longest week ever. My fiancГ©e goes away today to visit family, to try and clear her head of all the damage my gambling has caused. With my work commitments I won't see her until next weekend so this week is a make or break for my future. Praying it's a break I need.

well I hope when she returns she can see what differences you are making in your life to irradicate this ever happening again. Hopefully she understands and you can move forward together, time away from you might be just what she needs and will return and you can work through your problems together

4 weeks today I'll have a smile the size of a chesire cat, sat in the airport, having the 'I'm now on holiday first drink'. 4 more hard weeks of working out to get in shape and saving hard for them last few pennies.

By then I'll be over the 1 month stage, saved close to £200 in gambling and hopefully be starting to feel a lot better about myself. For them 2 weeks I wanna put all thoughts of gambling and how much I lost to the back of mind so that it doesn't ruin our time away.

I'm still very much in the remorse stage and that's how I know I won't gamble anytime soon, it's once that dies down and the sporting action comes thick and fast that will be the challenge.
Wimbledon final and British Grand Prix on Sunday, normally a great excuse for a flutter, so that's another tenner I'll save because I never win.

My missus was looking at a car yesterday, we decided against it despite being cheap as the insurance was too much. I couldn't help but think I could have paid for that car and a years worth of insurance, TWICE. Makes me feel so bad as she's working so hard and giving up so much for our savings.

I just hope that after 15 months are up and I've paid it all back she will forgive me, one last time

Thanks
Paul

Date night tonight, had a really great time.
Cinema and drinks.

Life is about laughter, and that's what I plan from now on.

No more gambling for me!

Well done mate.

Keep thinking positive like I've been told off my best friend helping me through my trauma. I understand it's harder actually staying positive when all sorts of bad thoughts go through your mind, like I'm experiencing at the moment. I'm trying though. I'll be still reading posts on these forums everyday for as long as it takes.

Keep up the good work

£25.31

That's how much my all says I've saved through not gambling, not much I know, but a good start and it's great checking in everyday and seeing the amount creaping up.

I love this site, this is my third attempt at quitting gambling (admittedly the others didn't have loses anywhere near what I have this time around) and both times previous I was beating the addiction all the while I kept posting on here. Once I thought I was getting in control and stopped posting, it slowly crept back so I've gotta stay true to this page. That's my Krypton.

I've done a daily post so far and know it's unrealistic for that to continue but as long I'm checking back a few times a week, I know I can't lose this time around

Thanks
Paul