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Hi Sandra

Its a tough journey sometimes and we all in through the days when we don't feel so good keep thinking bout the big picture which is easy to forget, those 80 days are massive over 11 weeks nearly 3 months a quarter of a year ! And as we all know fighting any addiction is tough but ur doin it

Be proud of that its so difficult to just stop and change ur life completely around so forgive urself for those not so good days ur allowed them the good ones will outweigh the bad ones

Castle2

Thank you Castle, you are real inspiration!

Day continues and i think about how far i got in this journey...hell of a ride, ups and downs, but i feel i coming out stronger each day..

Remembered my first call to this site, and i must of sound really low, was even offered a ambulance...ambulance??? it's killing disease, takes over in no time and takes it all...

I need to stay close to this site, i know i do...i don't trust myself to face wide world on my own yet, and i'm very grateful for everything on this site. It's all of you guys, you keep me going and i'm more than thankful for that.

I can face tomorrow with pride, i'm doing it, i'm slowly getting there:)

Take care all

Unconditional

Sandra x

Every post I read from you Sandra you come across as a really genuine caring understanding person who welcomes all the support you get and is also very supportive of others.

The problems you have had I am sure you did nothing to bring them on to yourself and I trust your recovery continues.

Hey Sandra

Yes..ringing the net line was also my biggest step forward in recovery ..I was also just so flat and lifeless. I was offered free counselling specialising in gambling in Nottingham as at the time I was still with him and that was the nearest..

You're doing a fantastic job and even though you have your down days , just remember you are doing all this hard work and you are not even living in your native country and have learned another language to express yourself with...that takes a lot of courage and a lot of determination ...!!

You are a real asset to the forum and even when you are tired you still write on here and keep communicating and connected ..

R and D xxx

Thank you both,

Dear diary,

Feel very good today, had a fantastic sleep and good rest.Don't need a lot to put my mind at peace lol....good sleep:-)

Well another day gamble free, sun is shining, last day off so why not to make most of it 🙂 starting with cutting gras, going for a run, cooking ( i start to like that lol) and having a peaceful evening ready for the weekend.

Couldn't ask for more:-)

Take care all

Day at a time and believe in yourselves...:-)

Sandra x (81days.... - yay:-))

Sandra.

The things we want out of life are often standing right in front of us, addiction blinds us from seeing them, fooling us into believing that we must gamble to make them reachable, in fact the truth is gambling pushes those things further away.

For 81 days you have taken back the things that are the rewards of living.

For that be very proud.

A huge well done from me

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanx Duncs, most appreciated, you well deserve amazing things happening in your life....keep stepping forward and never look back:-) Respect to you and your lovely family

Hello diary,

I am all happy and enjoying my day, and it just clicked to me ...today is 12 years since my dear friend passed away. Such at young age - 16...she rushed to live, she quit school, start living adult live,job... and ended up being picked up from pieces after horible motorbike crash...both of them....

I remember her being happy girl, going to wedding dress shop just to try dresses on and get a picture lol, she never got to wear one for her wedding, but i'm sure she is in a better place now, she will always stay in my heart and memories as strong and determined person in her short life.

RIP darling, i will light a candle in your memory....

Maybe a bit sad post, just wanted to record something special from my life.

Sandra

RIP to your friend, sad story and a real shame, life can certainly be cruel at times.

I am glad to see your still going strong and i hope that you have enjoyed your last day off.

See you at tomorrows check in.

Thank you Dave, yea life can be cruel, thats why we have to appreciate ours, it's too short for regrets...

Good morning diary.

Well another day passed and i'm already in a busy weekend. Time just flies. Feeling good, had a good day yesterday, ok nights sleep and ready to face today. Work later, so i'm sure i'll be back posting tonight lol

Day 82 - keep moving forward no looking back

Take care all

Sandra x

Hi Sandra

With ur friend it certainly puts life into respective and should give us all the determination to make more of our lives, gambling can ruin our lives but only if we let it others av their lives ruined by fate and don't get the choices that we can make

Certainly makes u think, av a great weekend

Castle2

Hi Sandra

What a lovely post in tribute to your friend.

Take care

Irene

x

Thank you castle and Irene, your comments most appreciated.

Dear diary,

Day 83 and i'm absolutely shattered...work, kip, run, work...weeekend passes in a blur( i'm out of focus lol). There is a positive in that - no time for urges! Fantastic! 🙂

Weirdly remembered my last 'joy ' on slots......when last penny gone, i just sat there completely empty, in tears and motionless....putting my car's advert on Autotrader........only to feed my habit....good job i'm not too good with computers, so it didn't accept it lol

I didn't realise or see that destruction was at my door...coming closer and quicker....and i just stopped, and felt like a little kid left on it's own in this scary big world...i had to break myself free, there was no other options...

And here i am 83 days later, that's how long i been reborn. No matter how tireing my newfound life is....it's fantastic feeling to feel free...get my senses and emotions back...to see good and bad, joy and sadness....to care again....

I'm getting little pieces of myself back every day and i love it, i appreciate it with all my heart...

I'm finding a way out, i know there are better things out there, i wouldn't of done it without this site, my counsellor and your lovely people support and understanding.

For once i trusted good people who led me on this path to new future. I know i can do it, and i will keep hold on on everything precious to me, i will make it 🙂

No more words to express my feelings....it's all said on the big smile on my face 🙂

Thank you

Day at a time

Sandra x

Hi Sandra,

Fantastic stuff on your gambling free time. Well done! 🙂 🙂 🙂

I so relate to those feelings of when the money is gone and the awful consequences. Its past now and it can stay that way. Regards.. S.A 🙂

Thanx S.A. most appreciated..

Good morning diary,

Well another early morning, which brings new day. Still routine weekend...work, kip and run lol 🙂

Really tired, don't even realise myself nodding off at work sometimes..that's bad, but i think if i don't move and have to sit down in the warm office in front of computer....that's it - caput! Lol

Try to keep myself busy here, racking up my miles up and down the departments:-)

Anyway...getting on a bit here again, another day gamble free and i'm very pleased for that.

I'm very sorry guys i can't reply to your messages and posts recently, but i promise to catch up really soon.

Take care all and stay strong

Day at a time

Sandra x ( day 84....racking them up and looking ahead 🙂 )

Sandra.

The most important person is you, the effort you are giving to recovery is there for all to see.

Keep up the good work.

Duncs stepping forward never back.