...

Dear diary,

I come to terms in recent hours...i cried my eyes out, but that just me....i felt vulnerable and rejected...not first time in my life....

This time i will stand for myself ....i will say NO it's my journey, my feelings and majority of people are on my side.....it brings tears to my eyes again...happy tears...this road gives me so much i want to carry on no matter what...

Thank you all.....Duncs, you don't realize i had my life on tread today....you saved it....that's how much it takes to someones recovery......

Judy, i'm behind you 100% ....you know what i'm talking about....unconditional love my friends.......thank you...

Day at atime

Goodnight all

It means everything to me.....

Sandra x

Hey Sandra, glad to hear have cried happy tears - you have done so well and your posts are well thought out and I really appreciate the time you spend to post on my diary. Keep your chin up, hope you have a peaceful sleep xxx

HI Sandra,

Recovery from this addiction isnt just about stopping gambling and then we instantly get better, This addiction is an emotional addiction like it or not, we gamble because of ??? what ever it is that drives us there and our diaries are not just to talk about gambling because it is all connected.

Recovery is about change and as we grow and learn we change, because after all if we dont change we will just end up back to the gambling hell again.

Your diary is for you, write what ever you like, people can choose to read it or not. I for one always follow your progress and i dont think your diary is rambling.... Geez try reading mine lol.

Anyways dont take it to heart, Your doing fantastic and you support lots of people.

keep doing what your doing because its working.

take care

blondie xx

Sandra,

Congrats on going 12 weeks gamble free. You are doing amazingly well and feel really proud of yourself. Looking forward to congratulating you on day 100.

Tomso.

Hey Sandra..

Seems that we read the same post and reacted to it in a similar way..

Just now piecing together the picture as I did not realise that you had also been affected by it until now ..

It is my belief that the person concerned would find what they are looking for and get all their needs met on the Overcoming Problem Gambling Section rather than picking holes in what people do on here...it feels to me like having the equivalent of a wolf amongst sheep.

I hope that you will sleep tonight and I hope that you will still post how you feel and not close down ..

You have many people of here who all care about your recovery and can see all then hard work and support you put into abstaining ...

keep strong Sandra....keep posting when you like and how often you like ...I think the lesson for us is just to stick with the ones who are on the same path..

R and D xx

Thanx all,

Day 87, i will not gamble today.

S x

Morning Sandra

Fully agree with u with this site and our diaries they are life savers on my diary I at wrote some real personal stuff in the past which I Knew would get read but ultimately it helped me and that's all that matters my recovery, the same applies for urself feel free to write what u feel at that moment in time better out than in I find blocking stuff out is a trigger for gambling, some people may not understand who read but more importantly others will and help in many ways

So keep doin what ur doin its working for u

Castle2

Thank you castle,

Hello diary,

Where to start...not the best of journeys being back in a saddle, took sis to airport and headed back home...All the plans to go to see my mate went down the drain..

It's OK, i will go another time..A lot of trouble with car:( i'm surprised it made 8 hour journey..

Anyway, can't wait to get the shift out of the way, and get some rest tomorrow.

I love the post Joan - i might be rambling,but at least not gambling lol....absolutely love it:) my new motto!

Take care all good people, another day gamble free, may long it continue !

Day at a time

Sandra x

Awesome!! Long may you ramble! -joanxxxxx

Hi Sandra

Thanks for the continued support- sorry, I've been a bit preoccupied and wrapped up in my own woes to read much over the past few days.

Keep up the great effort and use your diary however it works for you- you've obviously found some benefit as you've managed to achieve and are maintaining your goal of not gambling 🙂

Take care (hopefully catch up soon)

Irene

x

Joan....:-) thank you

Dear diary,

As much as i don't want to think about last nights 'debate' i think just now i start coming back round. To be honest, can't remember my journey away today, shock, hangover...pretty horrible feeling.even handed my car to my sister to drive, which never happened before.

Felt pretty c...P last night, but must appologize to everyone for my reaction and posts. Some nasty posts...i didn't intend to write at all, but must of got too much to me.. i respect you guys, i appreciate your help, i want to give the same support back, that's all i can do. I don't want to cause the argument, i'm easy going and just following the flow...maybe too sensitive as you all seen last night, i'm fighting my own fight as all the rest of us heredoing the same. I'm getting to the bottom of myself, to see what has caused my 'friendship' with gambling...there is always a reason, and i just go head on with it all no matter how hard some things are.

I am proud of you all....you help me so much in my recovery as well as letting me grow as stronger and more confident person. Appreciate a lot.

Still day 87, day at a time, no gambling thoughts what so ever. Today is another day and i leave previous bad feelings behind:-)

Take care all

Sandra x

Hi Sandra,

Good for you. Today is another day, with new beginnings and new posibilities.

Keep posting, Your doing fantastic.

take care

blondie xxxx

Thanx Blondie, it's most appraciated,

Good morning diary,

Another day down, and i'm already at 88... Feel positive, there so many other more important things in life, than this destroying desease. I must of had to go through this experience to help to open my eyes. Life can be cruel, but only if you create it like that.

I am very determined to have this change, i will do it and learn to enjoy not only good days, but learn big deal from bad ones too. And today is a good day, because i'm on the right side of the road

It's me...love me or hate me lol

May long my recovery continues, i'm not pulling out..

Day at a time

Sandra x ( must be going on again) .....oh well ...

Hi Sandra

Well done on day 88 - you are doing fantastic! I just wanted to thank you also fior all the support and kind comments you continue to put on my diary.

Take care.

Feb.

Hey Sandra

I think you're a star!!!..and wow..look at you motoring through despite an up and down week...

Thank you for being kind on my diary...a lot of the anger I had over the ex was tied up with the baby and I could not separate the two.

I made the decision and I have to live with it...it was my attempt to take more stress off us as a couple and save the relationship...it didn't work.

I should have known that no fix can help as I myself was adopted into the home of an alcoholic in an attempt to keep her off the booze and distracted.

it is an emotive subject and part of my story but these days I am becoming more accepting ...I will do my best to help that woman all I can even though I feel resentful..some days I can do it others I can't,

I don't know how I stand on the subject..probably gone from prolife to not agreeing with it now...good job I'm not religious ..anyway ...I guess like no here everyone has a story and if you understand the story then it makes sense of the actions....it's all about learning isn't it? ..I have received judgement from both sides but I expected that...you have to if you are honest about your life....

I would say some of my best pals today are people in recovery and recovering from something ..and it could have been me with some crippling addictionm...it still might be..but we are as you say ..united ..and on the same road ..

The good,bad and the ugly..

R and D xx

I hope you are soooo proud of all your work Sandra..xx