Thanks Blondie and you are so right as I have taken so much from reading others diaries and the thoughts they have put on mine, so often brings me back to reality and puts things into perspective making me realise the important things in life. Often think of your Mum especially as my ex is refusing any more treatment and we are off travelling for a month but what will be will be and certainly my priority at the moment.
xxx
Hi Blondie
Thank you fro your kind words on my diary, appreciated. Wishing you continued strength in every aspect of your life, Dark Place x
Thank you for the posts everyone, seem to have found my mojo again, and i also realise that I have a responsibility to myself and people on this site to stick around for a while.
Its not very spiritual behavoiur of me to just leave and say yeah im alright jack, as I know to well the monkey will always be on my back.
I really liked this and wanted to share it resonated with me in so many ways.
Why We gambled.
We gambled for happiness and became unhappy.
We gambled for Joy and became miserable.
We gambled for sociability and became argumentative.
We gambled for friendship and became enemies.
We gambled for strength and felt weak
We gambled for relaxation and became nervous.
We gambled for bravery and became afraid.
We gambled to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We gambled to forget and were forever haunted.
We gambled for freedom and became slaves.
We gambled to forget our problems and saw them multiply.
We gambled to cope with life and invited death.
You name it I created a reason to gamble on it.......
That was over 15 months ago but i wont ever forget what I could have if i make the wrong decision today.
Just for today I won, my family won, my work collegues won and it didnt cost me one penny .....
Recovery free to everyone who chooses to take it.
Take care all
Blondie xxx
Hi Ms B
As usual, an inspiring post!
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on winning 🙂
Take care
Irene
x
Great post. So good I nicked it!! Lol. It's now one my first post. Something to read now and again because it really does sum it all up. Gambling promises everything and delivers nothing. You have learnt that, I'm still learning but getting there. Take care blondie.
Tough day all round for me so the thoughts and urges came thick and fast.
Its my dads birthday today so my emotions are high and its been a killer of a day in work but i know that these days I am better equipped to deal with how i am feeling and take a breath and think before i decide to hit the self destruct button that is gambling.
I miss my dad every day, but my tattoo brings me some comfort in a strange way i feel like its part of him permantly etched on me.
My mum is off on holiday tomorrow with my brother for 2 weeks, Im gona miss her like mad, she is such a brave brave women, it will be the first time ever she has been abroad without my dad, they used to have 4 or 5 holidays a year and was always away for my dads birthday.
A massive step for her and I draw on her strength to keep me focused on my recovery, 15 months and counting 🙂
Nothing worth having is easy,
Onwards and upwards.
Thank you for the posts everyone
take care
blondie xxx
Hey Hun..
The thoughts have come and gone but you didn't act on them and that's all that matters...
Keep your diary close and keep connected to people while you brave this wee storm ...as your last title said ...it's keeping centred in the eye of the storm..
I know you will navigate through Ms B.....dry land ahoy.keep talking xx
(((((((C ))))))))
R and D xx
Hi Blanco, sorry to hear it was a tough day in work but at least you kept strong. It must be an emotional time for you right now, my thoughts are with you. Hope your Mum has a lovely time, she deserves it after the year she's had. Take care
Stevo
Blondie.
With honour and strength I am so glad to see you about the forum gifting folk the great things you have found through abstinence.
That man up there would be super proud.
Duncs great to be walking by your side.
Stepping forward never back.
I didn't gamble today . Why would I what has gambling ever given me apart from pain ,misery and self hate.
Today I choose recovery and everything that it brings . We have a saying in work "s**t in , s**t out" sort of sums it up really.
Thanks for the posts everyone
No bet since 23 April 2012
Blondie xxd
Hi Blondie, huge congrats on being gamble free for 15 months, that is a great achievement and one I hope to emulate. My recovery has been up and down but I really hope that I have learnt from my past blips and learnt to cope with triggers and urges.
Keep strong and have a fab weekend xxx
So its empty nest syndrome for me, Mum is away, Youngest princess is sunning herself in Majorca, Oldest has moved out and i havent seen my fiance for 10 days....
Thats the poor me bit out of the way lol, actually on reflection in my gambling days I would of loved that fact I had no one to disturb me and I could be the selfish person that gambling turned me into.
Fast forward 15 months and I have enjoyed some alone time, some quiet time in the evenings to just BE.
I dont have to live my life at 500 mile an hour to feel alive, I dont need the adrenaline rush that gambling gave me as now i can enjoy my own company. I dont miss the extreme lows and highs of gambling. Today I have stopped looking for the exceptional moments and enjoy the ordinary moments, the moments i missed out on for so many years.
Its amazing what you can see and feel when you open your heart and your eyes.
I am off on my travels this weekend, with 2 doggies in tow, off down south and also will be gracing the southern contingency in work of my presence monday and tuesday.
No gambling today.... Been there done that got the t-shirt , wrote the book and lived the hell.
Today, just for today... I stay in the winners enclosure.
Take care everyone thank you for the posts.
Blondie xxx
No bet since 23rd April 2012
Hey blondie,
Your post is so true. We do forget to enjoy ourselves and just BE when gambling... it's good to open our eyes, see world in diferent colours, new daily goals, joy and happiness with dear ones.
Fantastic achievements! I am very happy for you. You deserve everything good on your way.
Day at a time and we can go thousands of miles....
Enjoy your weekend
Sandra x
Well done you xxxx
Blondie,
Thank you for the post on my diary. Your continued progress inspires me to follow your lead. I am wasting too many opportunities but luckily diaries like yours remind the rest of us what is possible through hard work and self belief.
Tomso.
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