Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

28 days from my next target of 90 days.

Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that I have decided to look beyond the imperfections, ive realised that my life doesn’t always look exactly like I want it to, and that I dont always react how i should, but what i am learning is that if I keep my mind and heart open to new people and experiences and take a real honest look at myself im starting to enjoy the present moment, it takes some practice but im practicing.

I try not to look to tomorrow for happiness, odds are I will do the same when tomorrow comes, So this weekend I put the above into practice, I wasnt wishing for the day to never end so monday wouldnt arrive and I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend again, I appreciated what I had and added some more happy thoughts to the memory bank to help me through the week, nothing flash, nothing expensive, simple pleasures that I took for granted.

So for me today is a new opportunity to be better than yesterday, its more than my dad has and i owe it to him and myself to not waste one moment longer on gambling you never know when your nows will run out.

I am still a bit hung up on being perfect. If I wasn’t the best at something, I would drive myself nuts.

Becoming great never felt as good as I imagined it would because there was always room to be better.

I was constantly dissatisfied and disappointed in myself, I now look at the things I do as opportunities to get better from one day to the next. It’s more satisfying to set and meet something i can acheive.

So work in progress continues, but I will be better today than i was yesterday and that is progress.

Blondie "just for today I will not gamble".

XX

Hi Blondie...Thank you so much for your lovely posts on my diary.

Your weekends sound lovely, lots of laughs and long walks with the princess.

Quite a thought prevoking last post from you.......I wonder if there is a link anywhere to wanting perfection and being a compulsive gambler ?

Anyway keep up the good work!!

Sue xxxxx

I am going to have to practice too.

Thanks for your post again.

I understand what you mean.

I think it is the nature of our beast that we crave instant gratification... learning patience in that field of our lives in a major stumbling block... hence my 9 week jitters.

But you are right in so many of your posts.

I also think back to the things I have said on others diaries... and I guess it's time to walk the walk.... not just talk the talk.

Cheers

Jon

Great post blondie i think gamcare and G.A are doing you the world of good and your positivity is great to see.

The glass is definitely half full 4 u and your taking every day by the scruff of the neck and being the best you possibly can be a day at a time cant ask or do more than that so be v proud of yourself.

HIya Blondie....

Am really chuffed that GA is suiting you..its not for everyone granted but I also get a lot out of 12 step programmes...they kind of keep me balanced.

I also identify with the perfection and aways being dissatisfied with my achievements...I got a great email from Boss today praising the seminar I did on Thurs for the newbies... I started picking holes immediately...and working on trying to top it......crazy isn't it???...no wonder we get tired...

More on the OCD perfection front...having Dot has resolved that....came home to another nice yellow wee wee on the carpet and a lovely present of poo!!!! lol...

Take care hun and you should be proud of yourself...

hugs

Rach and Doo xxx

Hi Blondie

Great post and one we can all take something from 🙂

For me , back to day at a time , keep aiming for the best just for that day and then go again the next

Noone is perfect but we can make the best of what we have , we owe it to us to try each and every day to look for the positives because we are worth all the effort we put in to make our lives better

Thank you for your support on mine too , means loads when times are tough

Keep strong , your doing really well mate

Lucy xxxxx

Good evening,

Great post, interested in your view point.

Wonder though just to put a little something into the mix.

I find it very difficult to see the greatness in myself or what I have achieved. So like you a stive to be the best I can be , but do not acknowledge to myself that I did a good job. When other people say , you were really good at this or that I struggle to believe them , always looking at how I could of done it better.

So for me it is about lowering the bar like you say , but also patting yourself on the back when you reached the goal you have set yourself .

Hope that makes sense, you are in my eyes not that I can see you lol, a really kind , supportive intelligent person. With a big heart and show a great sense of empathy for other people. Do you see this in yourself ,

Dusty xxxxxxxx

Blondie.

Great post, You have got into the "half full Glass" club which is so much better than the half empty one most compulsive gamblers live in.

I raise my virtual glass to you!!!

Here is to life and living it!!!!!!!

Well done you just for today NO BET and tomorrow will be richer for it.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Good Morning diary.

27 days i think to my next target.. (90 days).

Thank you as always to everyone for your posts, i do enjoy reading them they alwasy give me something to take away and think about.

Mondays are normally pretty rubbish for me but its because i work myself up into a frenzy that i wont see my boyfriend till the end of the week, yesterday i changed that, I accepted the things I can not change and instead was thankfull for what i have.

Im off to see the quack later today via occupational health with work, its just an independent check to make sure im ok after my time off a few weeks back. I still havent arranged my next councelling session and im beating myself up about that a bit this morning, enjoy is proably the wrong word but i did get so much from them, so its on my list of things to do... (See lowering expectations thread lol).

The sun is shining and all is well in the Gamcare world again, nice to see people coming back and lots of newcomers also.

For those new people who are just starting out I would say this, As long as you have air in your lungs its another chance to turn this around, there are lots of people on here doing this everyday and Im proud to be part of that.

Its a daily battle or daily growth, i like the growth option and i take strength from the battles I win, had a few thoughts of gambling last night, no idea where they came from or why and actually im not going to over analyise it, I didnt gamble so nerrr nerrr na nerrr nerrr... lol

Life is good, and I am getting there, so just for today gambling demons, I wont be fueling your flame instead I will continue to build my resolve to continue my fight...

Blondie xxx

Hello blondie I've had the joy of reading through your diary this morning and your a bit of an inspiration. You have had a lot to go through and your getting stronger everyday. Your also helping others as well as yourself and that is to be applauded. Enjoy your gamble free life.

Hey,

Not sure how much of the GA material you have read at the moment or whether you have come across it but the one little booklet entitled beyond the 90 days is very good! It's still slightly premature for the two of us with regards 90 days but there is a little gem in there where it talks about their being no shortcuts to recovery! I found that really helped me last week when I read it! I had been really down for a few days but that helped me understand it's all part of the recovery and it's kinda the necessary rubbish we have to go through to eventually come out the other side!

The reason I mention that today is because you have posted many many positives lately and I truly hope they continue but If the darker days do come then that's just a heads up and well worth a read!

Have another lovely day!

Flagg

Yo,

Picture this, the one and only Dusty Fairy, sitting on her bed, checking up on her gamcare family. Watching the clock cause due in at midday today , late meeting tonight. Thinking I really must do this, do that before I jump in the bath, whilst at the same time planning what I need to say at my meeting.

Read yours and Dots post made me smile,as always, plus the fact it is never ceases to amaze me that people read what I write and visa versa.

Anyways, just dropped into another diary , just to check out your response , and well loved the D & A comment. Chuckeled so much . You really do have a cracking sense of humor.

I feel sooooooo fortunate, that people brighten my day , just by being themselves. Yesterday Flagg with his pong pong, today you with fish metaphors ( think you have become the champ at that one , but watch this space, plenty of contenders ........)

Have an absolutely brill day, you have most defo sent the fairy off with a spring in her step. Thank you !

Dusty xxxxxx

Hi Blondie, thanks for all your posts. There was no way I was going to gamble because I super glued my face to the window by accident and was stuck there for days. I shouted for help towards those passing by but they couldn't hear and thought I was just being nosy.

Anyway really glad everything is going smoothly for you, you really are inspiring (and I don't do compliments lightly). Take care Blondie, speak to you soon, Steve.

Hi Blondie,

Thanks for your post. I really like your suggestion about how to think about the debt. It will really help me to think about it reducing. I guess that is the compulsive gambler in me - wanting everything sorted quickly. I know that it will take time but I also know that it will be well worth the effort in the long term.

I hope that you are having a good day. You are doing fantastically well. Take care and stay strong.

Dave

Hey,

Just a quick response! Im not sure what my message was all about this morning! I kinda feel I'm a positive soul myself most of the time but just recently I've had a few days where I've been super down! I was basically just saying that the small bit of literature helped me personally! I really think your positive attitude is amazing and I love your outlook on life, it's always a pleasure to read your diary and I support you 100%

I think you will reach 90 days and beyond no problem at all but the fact that you doubted yourself at the start suggests there may still be times where recovery will be very challenging and the GA literature will prove even more useful!

I guess the whole point of this post is to apologise for

My slightly negative post I truly hope everyday is really positive and that you continue to inspire me and others every day!

Flagg 🙂