Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

hiya Blondie...

I hear ya my friend.....just posted to Freda to say that im going to have to get some grief counselling as these flare ups keep taking me under...

I know what you mean on impatience Blondie....just feel bored of my own stuff now as it seems to be one big mess and never ending despite years of trying to sort it all out ...am exhausted .

Thanks again hun...really appreciate you and all the postees being there today for me as the S***e rolled out....

didn't pick up a drink to wallow....

Rach and Doo xxx (((((B)))))

Day Whatever!!!!!

I feel a bit like that today, Yesterday started well then turned into the mother of all days, I think sometimes i should get changed in a phone box but then i decided i wasnt wearing that superwomen outfit a few weeks ago. !!!!

Had quite a few urges last night they started in tesco express when i was at the counter with scratch cards, I never bought the bloody things so where that came from i dont know, I didnt bat them off as quickly as i have done before but i put that down to me being tired and stressed out, its an early night and a book for me tonight.

My appointment with the quack went ok, Im not quite certifiable yet but not that far off , why i had to stand up, touch my toes, put my hands above my head i have no idea, I think he just wanted to look down my top.

Didnt sleep that well last night and it didnt help that woody decided he wanted to bark at random moments throughout it lol... Bless him i still love him though.....

Ive made a pact with myself that im definatly going to my G.A meeting tomorrow and will make it out of this office before 6pm.... now theres a rarity....

Ive had a productive morning in work even though I would rather be on one of those planes that i keep looking at.... Oh well... Onwards and upwards, or it could be a slow spiral down today.

Thanks as always to everyone for the posts, I will be wisking my way to your diarys soon.

Blondie 🙂 x

Just sending hugs blondie my lovely. x

Hi Blondie, you angry me crying into the Kleenex, there must be something in the water. I've got plenty of balloons you can lend them anytime. I'm feeling better now, just bought 2 cheesecakes for later. You're right I will beat this but it still pays to remember that there are a lot of people a lot worse off than me. Just walked passed a gang of drunk alcoholics congregating with their cheap cider and vodka, glad I'm me and not them, pity on them, their life is heartbreaking. All my age and younger, men and women, about 10 in all. Very sad.

Wish I'd saw a gang of unemployed clowns instead practising, they'd improved my mood.

I hate meetings with a vengeance so my heart goes out to you, I prefer to be doing things than just sitting there watching the clock and drawing pictures. Yet and this is a big yet, you've broken the week's back, only 2 and a bit days before you're back with you're lovely fella, family and woody. Keep going, keep strong, don't kill anyone this afternoon and stay happy. Steve.

Hey,

Sorry to hear your day was pretty rubbish yesterday! My simple advice would be do everything you can to make your meeting tomo. If you are going down the GA route like myself I find it fascinating how many people say they need their meeting especially if they have missed one or two. It's like a little shot of medicine! I really hope you have a Better day and I know what day you are on even if you feel a bit yuk today!

Flagg

Hi ya,

Just wanted to send you some mindless drivell. ......

Your mission today my fellow spy, if you get this is before your meeting. Is to imagine that they are all wearing chest waders ( following on with the fish theme) but you are NOT I repeat NOT allowed to start giggling.

Good luck 002.5

Dusty xxxxxxxx

Ps you are most def one of the beautiful people, live time membership there miss like it or not ! Lol

hey hun.....

In Glasgow and just popping in as i sit in the car...Hope you do get out of work pretty handy and get to your meeting....

Was laughing there at your trip to the Docs and yes I think he was trying to cop a sneaky look....am also booked in for an MOT next week and quick spatula dunk if you know what i mean...

Sorry you also had a rough day...things can just come out of nowhere cant they and i do know what you mean about urges as mine can take a life of their own even though my vices are different..

You are so right about making new dreams...once we get in rut even a negative rut its hard to shake off...so back to the drawing board...

You know the nature of the work i do and that burn out is common here...sometimes not enough time to do my job and like you all these late finishes not good for the soul or social life....

work life balance whatever that is!!! but i still go home and start cleaning....

Hope you and Woody are managing to get out for walks as me and Doo been housebound..even she wont go out in the rain...

High maintenance or what?

(thats the dog..not me) lol

hugs

Rach and doo less xxx

Hi Blondie, hope you are feeling a little better this evening and that your day did not turn out as bad as maybe you expected.

Enjoyed the chat last night... think I had a little too much oxygen, was on a little high for a time there... but enjoyed it.

Well I hope you don't mind my "mindless drivel" either.. and yes you are one of the "beautiful" ones.... I have now recategorised so that the "Fairy" can't keep having a little dig ;O)

Might see you on chat a little later.

Take Care

Jon

i hope jon doesnt see this as a beautiful post lol 😉 , but i really really like this and i suppose its apt because this is what im aiming for.. so now im off to bed with a book everyone is banging on about this "50 shades of grey" lets see what all this fuss is about....

I beleive its a bit rauchy so i may be some time lol....

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a b*m

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

Blondie day whatever xxx

hiya Blondie...

...bought that book...they took the title from my selection of underwear...never left the bed for a week so may also apply to my sheets and duvet cover....lol

of course i'm kidding...did buy that book though to see what all the hype was about as it was on offer at waterstones.... was going to read it on holiday but never got even opened....

Anais Nin always did it for me but let me know how you go on with it..i shall start mine when i get home and we can have a cyber reading group...like on richard and judy lol...

take care hunny....hope woody is keeping you company and smiling....its great when they have their doggy pals isn't it?

hugs

Rach and doo x'x

If you go off line I shall be over there digging you out of bed.

Hi Blondie

Thanks for popping by, lets know how good the book is, need some spice in my life at the moment.

Keep the walk going, wishing you an excellently progressive day, (that does not make sense),

Thoughts anyway

John

Morning Blondie,

Hope all ok with you?

got to agree...doc was deffo checking your bust out!!!!

Am going to have to go and get "the book" heard so much about it!

Keep on going....good days , bad days...Least you not gambling...even with temptations!

Sue xxxxxxxx

another day whatever im afraid. !!!

Yesterday was another killer, I seem to be getting dragged back into the working to late and not enough blondie time mode, its dangerours for me so i need to be aware of that.

Urges have been coming and going but im not acting on them in any way shape or form so there !!!! lol.

I seem to be in deep contemplation mode was thinking last night that I think i gambled to create chaos in my life for some reason i think i function better when im pumped full of adrenaline in fire fighting mode and thats how i felt last night when i got home, so a nice long walk round the country park with woody soon calmed me down and made me appreciate that calm. He found a really mental boxer to run round with which made me laugh quite a lot.

It was just nice me (Billy no mates) and the quite to work through my day in my head and file it away where necessary rather than have it spinning round like a washing machine.

I know im aware of when the dangerous times for me are and im doing something positive to try and counteract that.

Gambling is not an option for me anymore not after all the hard work i have put in, I have had this demon on my back for nearly 20 years and never did anything about it because i couldnt be arsed, or wasnt strong enough ... I was to busy settling and making do and hyding.....

But not anymore Im facing my demons, some days there big massive ones that scare the life out of me and others there small insignificant ones... Either way what ever shape or form they take......Im not giving in...

Im still on track to make my G.A meeting tonight so im happy about that.

Just for today I will not gamble.

Blondie day whatever mark 2 lol

xxx

Hi ya,

Don't fancy the demons chances with an attitude like that !

Hope you meeting goes well tonight and one more sleeps till the weekend. So almost another week under you belt.

So what have you got planned this weekend a bit of

Dairy Dancing, have fun......

Dusty xxxxxxxx

hi blondie,

Thanks for your wise words and encouragement. Nice to have a few " cyber" friends who understand and know what it is like.

Have a good meeting and stay strong.

Steve