Get busy living... Or get busy dying..

Thank you everyone for the posts . So first of many wedding fairs I think o*g its a mine field but we got lots of ideas and food for thought , felt quite special actually as there was hardly any other men there. I had a mad urge today to gamble but thats probably just a trigger from seeing how much this wedding could cost lol. Urges are just that and I have learnt now that I dont have to act on it and I am aware of the damage it would do if I go back to gambling, I have worked so hard this past 8 months I am not going to spoil it now . Take care everyone. Blondie xxx

Hi Blondie

This is such an exciting chapter in your life- enjoy!!!

You deserve all the happiness- you've earned it 🙂

Keep up the great work

Irene

x

Morning,

Thanks for the post yesterday. Such a crafty, nasty, conniving addiction this is. You said about the urge yesterday being related to the potential wedding cost and you know what it's prob true. I like to think now though we have reached a level of calm where we can almost laugh off an urge like that.

As Irene so rightly says this is a very exciting chapter in your life and all the happiness that will come with it has been hard earned and thoroughly deserved. I think there a few of us on here wanting a live stream on the wedding day itself 😉 no pressure there though my friend lol!!!

Have a good week,

Flagg

Thanks everyone for the posts !

Yesterdays urge got me thinking about them in general its like all the unanswered questions in the world, Is there a god ? Is there life after death ? I wont ever know the answer why.

I gave up a long time ago trying to understand the intracat details of this addiction as its sneaky and crafty and will change and morph into different things to try and entice me back.

I admitted to myself months ago I couldnt control this anymore and I threw the towel in, I know as certain as blood runs through my veins that I cant gamble because when i do I become the monster again.

The person with no self control, the person who lies, the person who has no motivation to do anything only gamble, the selfish horrible person who cares about nothing other than when is my next bet.

Those days seem long gone now yet they are still fresh in my mind, I am still dealing with the financial fall out from those days and deal with it i must as i know i cant gamble my way out of it.

Today I count my blessings not my losses.

Today I won 🙂

Blondie.

Nearly 9 months and counting.

xxx

Hi Blondie

Thank you for your post.

I can relate to everything you said but at least you are more than on the way to salvation and a better life ! keep it up your doing greaaaaaaaat xx Dark Place

I like this quote.

So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment."

I think im getting there. Progress not perfection.

Blondie x

need to have this tattooed on my forehead..thank you hun xx

wheres our snow???

r and d x

You've done it again Ms B!!!!!!

Uncannily, you seem to know what I'm thinking lol. I got an e-cig today.....blagged it from my sis who's been cigless for a week.

Seriously, thanks so much Blondie for your sound advice since that start of my journey. I don't know how, but you always manage to hit the right spot and read between the lines!

Thanks

Irene

x

Feeling a bit poor me today 🙁 . Waves of missing my dad the past few days maybe its thinking about my wedding and who will walk me down the isle, I know that it will be an emotional day all round.

Grief is such a funny thing some days im riding the crest of a wave and others the darkness engulfs me,today is one of those days.

Im not going to gamble, I know that wont solve anything but sometimes i just crave my escape to forget how im feeling.

My fiance went down south today till friday and after spending 3+ weeks with him i suppose that has hit me also.

I cant motivate myself to do much of anything tonight so im trying to post and lift my spirits.

early night and a book maybe and a big head wobble.

Tomorrow is another day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Pze_mdbOK8

Blondie xxx

Blondie

for me there is only one person to walk you down the aisle .a break from tradition. Someone who has been there in equal measure, whom you care for just the same.

You ever loving Mum.

Enough said.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi there

Feeling for you reading your diary.

It's really ok to be sad when you are missing someone so close to you but remember what you will be missing if you let it push you back into gambling when you are doing so well and have so much to look forward to. Sorry sounds a bit like preaching but I have done it so often myself before I know how easy to fall into the trap.

Like your idea of three positive things each night, stay strong and will be thinking of you.

My son walked his sister down the aisle and they had a fairytale wedding.

xxx

thank you for the posts everyone.

coming up to the 8 month gamble free milestone and boy does it feel good, dispite the fact that ive had a few down days that thought keeps me motivated to carry on.

Hmm maybe the last few days down mood was down to the fact that i was coming down with something.

Think im joining duncs and womble in sick bay tonight, feeling completly rotton i think the only thing that isnt aching or hurting in anyway is my ears lol...

So early night, bath, book and snuggle in bed with my big puppy dog.

Blondie... Cough, cough, aaaaaaatishooooooo !!!

xxx

Hey hun

hope you feel a bit better soon...think you should wrap up and bed in as we are due snow from thurs night and all through the weekend...

just feel it ...I also wondered if you would be thinking about your dad and the wedding but didnt want to say it first...

just to add on from Duncs post..the Rock and Woody all walking you down the aisle??...

air con on planes a B*****r for bugs and all that..keep snuggling that woofski and thank you for posting from the sick bay...

hugs..but not toooo close...lol

r and d xx

ps faceboook account still in cyber space! lol

Hi Blondie.....thanks for posting on my dairy.

If I hadn't been so stupid I would be up with you instead of a measly 17 days. You must be so proud of yourself, and think of all the $$$$$ you have that have not been wasted. What a wonderful future you have with a new husband AND a dog. You can't go wrong. You have put in the hard yards and it is paying off. Well done from a slow learning, but now on the right track.

Thanks Blondie Crystal

Hi Blondie

Loads of illnesses goin round so hope u get better soon , the down days will come but thats just life recovering gambling addict or not , like me b4 u av experienced that dip and u know through experience it will pass

Well done on the 8 months and in that 8 months what a turn around which is fantastic for u and an inspiration for anyone who follows ur diary

Couldn't be happier for u

Castle2