Give peace a chance

Hi Stephen

Your story although tragic in a way is a good example that it's never too late to start your life again. Life is precious and distorting it with gambling will always impact negatively.

Congratulations on your 114 days mate, a true example of a fighter with a big heart who has made mistakes that he will not let define him any longer.

I hope and it sounds like you have truly made peace with their past, some people never get to do that.

Take care and stay strong.

Matt

Hi Sir Stephen ,

Many congratulations on your 114 GF days ! You're story always helps me to stay focused . I learn so much by just reading your diary. You earn my respect for not giving up . Keep on marching sir ! You're a trooper !

Sars

Tragic story, very honest. You have done amazing to get to 114 days gamble free Abstainer. I am sure your life will take a turn for the better once you have beaten the gambling demon. Keep going, never stop trying to beat the addiction.

Your honesty and kindness to others are your strengths, you've changed your life in a way you probably thought wasn't possible. You are indeed a shining example and are considered a friend to many so I really hope you find peace of mind and happiness. Take care my friend S:)

Day 115 GF and on a mission . Their is something magic about this recovery , a wonderful feeling of solidarity with my fellow travellers .

Had a great time last night . It's the freedom festival weekend in Hull commemorating the abolition of slavery . lots of goodies going on including live music , performances and loads more . Great band of awesome ladies from all over the world singing real lively tribal songs had hundreds of us all dancing in the street , quite magical as we were alongside the river and it was a beautiful night .

Appreciation to Matt , Sars .Degenerate and Sharon , the support means so much to me . I can't blame gambling or anything else for the terrible mistakes I have made in my life , it was all my doing . However , i long ago realised that wallowing in guilt doesn't help to remedy the situation . I feel it's good to try and make amends and if possible rectify past misdeeds , but beyond that all I can do is try and improve the way I live my life . In my own inadequate way I have always tried to be a good person but it didn't come across that way . In a crazy way my deluded mind sometimes saw myself as the victim . I feel now like i'm on the outside looking in and it doesn't look very nice .

Anyway nows the time to put one thing right and thats to finish my association with gambling .

Morning Diary . 116 Days GF .

Had a great weekend at the freedom festival . Great to celebrate the abolition of slavery and I was also celebrating my own freedom . No doubt in my mind I was a slave to gambling addiction even though I chose to live that way .

Freedom is a tricky subject to get my head around . To make it worthwhile it has to involve self discipline and accepting responsibility for my own life , seems a bit pointless to stop gambling but to carry on being a self centred fool . So I need to get the balance right . Good to enjoy life , dance around and have fun but got keep my eye on the bigger picture ( whatever that means ) , maybe i'm thinking too much !

Wishing all out their a good week . Noticed quite a few diaries enjoying good periods gamble free which tells me this recovery business is for real . We don't have to carry on giving our hard earned money to fat cat bookmakers .

My name's Stephen . Today I choose not to gamble .

Hi Stephen. I'm glad you had a great time at the Freedom festival in Hull (I live 10 miles south of the river and used to work in Hull). Sometimes we experience good times and we just have to smile and enjoy the moment. Take it all in and ride the wave. To feel this happiness without the need for anything else.

Many thanks Change , I find your post quite profound .

" Sometimes we experience good times and just have to smile and enjoy the moment . Take it all in and ride the wave . To feel this happiness without the need for anything else "

I feel it's telling me it's ok to lose myself in the splendour and beauty of precious moments .

Makes me cringe to think of the times I lost myself in a fobt machine for hours on end . What a tragic waste .

Hello Diary . Seemed a bit strange yesterday telling an acquaintance I was 116 days without a bet , had to ask myself if it was all for real . Friends I have told about my recovery are all supportive which pleases me .

Monday was good . Went for a swim and a steam , had a fun hour with friends in the gym cafe . Enjoyed a late night stroll around the marina , passed the pier and looked out over the river , quiet and peaceful .

Recovery seems apropos of freedom , gamble free days enriched by serendipity .

Going to choose some different music every day to reflect how I feel in recovery . Today i'm starting off with ' Summer Sun ' by Texas .

My name is stephen . I am a compulsive gambler . Today I choose not to gamble .

Hi Stephen

Sounds like you are finally letting yourself enjoy and appreciate the other things in life that a gamble free life can provide and that gambling can no longer take away.

Music is great therapy. My song is Rudimental "Not Giving In". The lyrics in this may as well be my theme tune of previous months.

I wish you all the best in your continued recovery.

All the best

Matt

Hi Stephen. Popping in to say huge well done on 117 days. I have read a few of your posts and I too love your attitude and how your taking up way more positive hobbies like the swim and sauna and walks around the marina. I went to a beautiful pier/marina the other day also. How much more do you appreciate those sorts of simple/beautiful things after feeling so rubbish through gambling eh? Keep at it! 🙂 xx

Hi Stephen . Nice post above but I'm glad the music's about how your feeling and not the weather ! Otherwise it would probably have been " Walkin in the rain " or " The wind of change " :)) .

117 day's is a great number 118 will be even greater :))

Keep pushing forward my friend and best wishes .

Thankyou for the posts , the support of GamCare friends has propelled me to 118 gamble free days , the sun's shining and i'm all ready to rock n roll with a whoopee and a mini punch in the air . Went to Salsa class last night which was fun , I struggle to take in the moves , probably due to the fobts addling my brain but nevertheless I persevere . Dancing or socialising in general all went by the board for 6 years when my life seemed to revolve around them horrible machines.

Matt ..... Love your musical suggestion 'Not giving in ' by Rudimental and John Newman . That is definitely my choice for today .

GirlJ...... Your attitude to recovery is a real delight and one i'm going to strive for , from now on my bucket will always be half full but never half empty . Glad you enjoyed some leisure time outdoors , plenty of wonder and beauty to experience in the world . Wishing you contentment and good adventures .

Alan ..... Ha ha thankyou for the musical selections , they're on file for a rainy day . Always gives me a lift seeing your 729 Days GF, a great reminder that recovery is their if we want it .

Just came across the phrase 'stalking horse' which was new to me ; 'A person or thing that is used to conceal someone's real intentions ' . I imagine most compulsive gamblers would have a stable full of them !

Hey Stephen. Yes it sounds like you're riding that giant wave of gamcare fusion. You know what- it's actually pulled us out of our gambling depression. P.s. Not planning on stalking a horse any time soon.
Salsa - I think you've got a lotta bottle coz I don't think I could do it with my 2 left feet!

As always taking a lot from your posts Stephen. Post #125 helped me untangle and iron out my own thoughts.

The constant quest to be the best you can be, the attitude, self-awareness and vitality in your posts is...and this is a word I'm careful not to overuse...inspirational Stephen.

Discovery is very important to keep improving, great to read you trying new things.

Pleased to read you enjoyed another new experience at the weekend. Seems a good time to share with you one of my favourite quotes. You might have heard it before:

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress." - Frederick Douglass.

Really enjoy the range and way you write Stephen. If you do the creative writing course this month I think you will be running it by October and I'll be signing up for the next available course in November.

The next time I see someone in a Hawaiian shirt, doing the salsa down the Quorn aisle in my local Asda, I'll be sure to take a second look - if I recognise the face I'll be coming over to shake your hand Stephen.