Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda,

Sorry that the days are so hard for you at the moment. You are doing well and things will get better. Don't forget to congratulate yourself for the good things you do, rather than persecute yourself for the things you struggle with. (Bit rich coming from me)

Take care,

DT.

Rang to try and find out whats happened to my counsellor today. Was told its likely to be at least another 2 weeks that she is off!

I know it cant be helped, but man! I gave up an online counsellor when she came back off 6 weeks sick leave before!

Honestly Im not wallowing in self pity, but this is the pattern my 'counselling' with her has taken, so you can get an idea of how frustrating this is for me:

First 2 weeks - she was there

next 6 weeks - she was off

next week - she was back

following 4 weeks - off

Ive been P*ssed about for months! I just want somewhere safe to talk and get my head together.

I dont think Im going to go back to her. She cant help her health issues, but its so bad for me to keep stopping and starting like this.

Im putting my name down tomorrow for counselling at a local charity. May have to wait a few weeks, but they seem more reliable than this one.

Woke up this morning to find I'd slept right through 🙂 No panic attacks, no waking up in a stress, woke feeling calm.

Such a relief after freaking out on Sunday night! I honestly think it was the fact I was out on my own at night and coming down with a cold that made me panic. I felt really groggy and out of it, so I guess its natural to feel anxious about getting home safely.

Really pleased and relieved 🙂

Freda,

There are not many things a good night's sleep can beat eh!!! Glad you had a good one and hope your anxious moments pass.

Hi Freda,

Thanks for your info about the health assessment, pleased you had a good night's sleep and hope you get a reliable counsellor soon. Chat soon.

DT.

Hi Freda

Sorry to see your counsellor messing you around, especially when you feel like you need her, arggg can imagine the frustration.

I like reading your posts, you seem fun and although this gambling malarky gets us right down, it doesnt have to be all doom and gloom eh, we just gotta make the best of the situation we find ourselves i guess. Easier said than done! big HIGH FIVE and keep on that right path.

neil

Thanks for posts guys, as always,

Neil 2am! quite the night owl! I totally agree that its hard to get back up when you have reached rock bottom and is easy to get caught up in all the drudgery of the fight to get back to normal. Its so true though, that we all owe it to ourselves to make the most of our current situation. We cant make things magically better overnight, and sometimes its a case of acceptance and patience.

I count myself very lucky that although im in a vulnerable position, I have the emotional skills to still feel grateful for what I DO have.

Good day today. Counselling providers rang to offer a couple of sessions with another counsellor to tide me over while the other is on the sick. Not ideal, because you have to start from scratch with new person - but will be useful at this time to have a 'safe' environment to deal with my feelings and get stuff off my chest. Stop stuff building up too much.

Also, my voluntary employers offered me a paid job! Was really chuffed. Is good for my self esteem 🙂 is only for 4 hours a week, but wont mess my benefits up too much and just means I'll have another 20 quid a week in my pocket. Its what they call 'a start'! Perfect for me at the moment where I need to build my confidence up gradually. I will also be doing exactly the same as I was before, but not for free.

Feels like things are starting to gradually come good 🙂

Hi Freda,

Thanks for your post and support, it really means a lot. So pleased that you have had some good news, you deserve it. Great to get some counselling sorted, hope it helps.(Presumably all your previous counsellors end up off sick long term - wonder why? 😉 )

Being paid for a job you know you can do sounds ideal for you at the moment, £20.00 extra a week - calm down Rockafella!

Really pleased that things are coming together for you.

Take care,

DT.

ps.what does natch mean? - I don't understand young person's vernacular, getting to be a bit of an old duffer.

Hi Freda,

Good to hear about the positives in your last post and like you say the stop gap counsellor is also a good thing. its a safe time and space to use as you want to. For me there is nothing better than to have someone who is pre-pared to listen unconditionally to my ramblings and not pass judgement. It seems to happen so little in my day to day life.

The paid work for a few hours a week sounds just the ticket. As for me am contracted to work 21 hours a week only at the moment and that proved to be a good move. I was just unable to cope with full time. I feel generally happier in myself as a result if a little lighter in the wallet. But money is not everything I keep trying to tell myself.

Anyway as D.t says.. really pleased that things are coming together for you... S.A 🙂

Hi Freda

Thanks for your posts and no you did not sound preachy at all, you are right in what you where saying. Hope your ok and nice to read your last post, hope the work goes well for you... Anyway short and sweet as per usual, lol.........

Take care ands xx

have you past the 100 days now??? think you have, congrats freada!!!!

Hi freda,

Thanks for the support, i'm trying to be carefull, just need to be strong to.

Thank's again for all your support.

stay strong.

green x

Hi Freda

Just wanted to pop in to apologise for butting in on chat last night and taking over. Please forgive me for intruding I was in a terrible place.

Georgie

Hi Freda,

Thanks for checking up on me! Really appreciated.

Well done on the work front sweetie...things are on there way up for you.......and you are about to be married next year. Ooooooo exciting!

Love from Jas xx

Hi Freda

Thanks for the post, believe it or not i have alot of respect for you, 100 days gamble free nice one, forget the £2 a week on lotto that realy is nothing.... As i said before, YOU, DT and Green have been there from the start for me, i will not forget that. Your diary has made me smile and at times sob my heart out, like i said a long time ago your a sweety and i hope things in your life improve, cos you deserve it!!

I seem to be on a rollercoaster ride up and down like a bloody yo yo, reckon its pretty much the same for you too, init???

The post about the coffee morning you ran realy did hit nerves with me and like i said in chat a while ago you have a very good heart indeed! sorry im ramble.....

take care freda, ands xxx

Hi Freda

Just wanted to say i hope your ok and have good weekend, thanks for all your support this week, i really appreciate it so thanks again and take care! ands xx